


in the middle of the night, in my dreams

by pettigrace



Series: we're all somewhere in the middle [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Aromantic Mick Rory, Asexual Barry, Asexual Mick Rory, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Eddie Thawne, Bisexual Ronnie Raymond, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Gay Character, Deaf Character, Demiromantic Iris West, Everyone Loves Barry Allen, F/F, F/M, Family, Found Family, Friendship, Gay Cisco Ramon, Gen, Lesbian Linda Park, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Other, Pansexual Leonard Snart, Queer Oliver Queen, Queer Themes, Queerplatonic Relationships, Texting, Trans Cisco Ramon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-08 14:36:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 46,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14696214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pettigrace/pseuds/pettigrace
Summary: pipes:at least you’re not spending fifteen months with writing a chat group fanfiction about usbabybibibi:that’s oddly specificbabybibibi:hart what are you doing(continuation ofi just wanna have fun and (get rowdy))





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to round two! 
> 
> if you stumbled upon this by random: this is the continuation to my arrowverse lgbt+ gc au "i just wanna have fun (and get rowdy)". you should definitely read that one first.
> 
> if you have been around since the first part: welcome back!!!! im glad you're staying true to my bullshit! I hope you get a few laughs out of this.
> 
> the title is from taylor swift, i don't remember which song rn bc i only ever have this part stuck in my head lmao
> 
> i have some things that i deifnitely want to happen plot-wise but other than that shoot me whatever you'd like these kids to go on about because like filler chaps are things that need to happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nobody pays enough attention to eddie the poor boy

**detectiveprettybi** : is there a better way to start off the break than with a hungover

**spACEbar** : yes. Waking up without a headache

**detectiveprettybi** : i dont have one! 

**spACEbar** : good for you! 

**spACEbar** : then again you didn’t drink as much

**detectiveprettybi** : true true feeling a bit dizzy tho lmao

**detectiveprettybi** : still trying to behave so i won’t get thrown out

**spACEbar** : a good plan

**spACEbar** : you should make breakfast to be on everyone’s good side

**detectiveprettybi** : GREAT IDEA

**detectiveprettybi** : thats why i love you

**spACEbar** : be glad snart is still sleeping or else he might want to have a word with u

**detectiveprettybi** : ohhh did you crash at their place

**spACEbar** : yeah i was tired af

**detectiveprettybi** : poor baby

**spACEbar** : ikr

**snowflake** : GOOD MONRING FRIENDS

**snowflake** : I CANT BELIEVE IM FREE

**notcis-co** : youre in too good a mood cait

**spACEbar** : she deserves this happiness

**notcis-co** : yeah i know but still

**snowflake** : there’s extra strong painkillers in the drawer in your bathroom they should help against hangovers too

**notcis-co** : you’re an angel sent from above

**spACEbar** : aw

**snowflake** : hey bar u know what i just realized

**spACEbar** : ?

**snowflake** : we’ve never done anything one on one

**spACEbar** : holy shit youre right

**spACEbar** : we should change that

**snowflake** : well idk about u but my fiance is still asleep

**detectiveprettybi** : how satisfying was it to type that word

**snowflake** : very

**spACEbar** : my bf is also still asleep so yeha i could def sneak out

**snowflake** : nice!

**detectiveprettybi** : u kno you never spent time just with me either but i guess your type’s more brunette

**snowflake** : arent you making breakfast

**detectiveprettybi** : … you’re absolutely right

**detectiveprettybi** : and this is why you are the clever one

**snowflake** : :)

**notcis-co** : if you happen to cross jitters pls send some brownies my way

**detectiveprettybi** : do you think theyll cross half the city just for you

**spACEbar** : yeah we absolutely will

**snowflake** : ^

**notcis-co** : i love u guys

**spACEbar** : !!! :D

**notcis-co** : oh wait does that mean I have to get dressed 

**snowflake** : nothing I haven’t seen before

**spACEbar** : … pls do get dressed

**spACEbar** : and make Hartley put on pants too

**notcis-co** : Hart isn’t even here :((( he slept at the Quiver :(((

**heatwave** : thats the saddest thing i have ever read

**notcis-co** : werent you just sleeping

**heatwave** : bar slammed the door it woke me up

**notcis-co** : arent u a heavy sleeper

**lesbianda** : mick’s either sleeping real tight or barely at all there’s no inbetween

**heatwave** : alcohol ruins heavy sleep

**detectiveprettybi** : you truly are different from the rest of the world arent you

**babybibibi** : at least coffee works normally for him

**babybibibi** : i get sleepy from coffee

**notcis-co** : its true give xem a cup and xe’ll sleep within half an hour

**lesbianda** : weird as hell ronnie

**babybibibi** : yeah that’s me alright

**heatwave** : whats the opposite of a legend

**lesbianda** : uhhhh a nobody?

**heatwave** : ure a nobody bicon

**babybibibi** : ill have you know odysseus was both

**heatwave** : odysseus was a jerk who didnt trust his wife to be faithful

**heatwave** : who even thinks his wife wont think he was dead after 20 fucking years

**notcis-co** : um

**lesbianda** : wow

**babybibibi** : did this just happen

**heatwave** : what did that never occur to u fuckers

**babybibibi** : no it did but

**notcis-co** : mick did snart make u read the odyssey

**heatwave** : no i made him read it

**lesbianda** : im truly speechless at this turn of events

**captaincold** : mick is clever get over it

**captaincold** : also caitlin be glad i like you

**detectiveprettybi** : are u so sad she stole bar away

**captaincold** : yes

**detectiveprettybi** : i’d be too

**babybibibi** : Hey Mick is Snart glaring at his phone

**heatwave** : yup

**babybibibi** : i swear his jealousy is gonna be the downfall of that relationship 

**lesbianda** : what Are you talking??? downfall???

**pipes** : I swear they’re never gonna break up

**irisbest** : im pretty sure my dad ordered napkins for the wedding already 

**oliverqueer** : the chances of them breaking up are as high as those for me falling out of love with felicity 

**bilance** : Snart/bar stays canon forever

**detectiveprettybi** : noooo theyre too cute together 

**babybibibi** : okay the fact that all of those came in less than a minute and half you guys weren’t even awake before 

**captaincold** : they know what’s good for them

**heatwave** : linda your next article: local lunatic kills friends for not believing in his relationship

**lesbianda** : you know i can actually see that headline right in front of my eyes

**babybibibi** : either that or bc someone said he’s jealous

**detectiveprettybi** : do you want to be the first one?? be careful

**pipes** : ohhhh imagine eddies first case being against Snart for murdering Ronnie 

**babybibibi** : THAT is what you're replying to that? Some kinda friend

**bilance** : first he steals your boyfriend now he doesn’t care about your death 

**babybibibi** : i should cancel this friendship

**pipes** : :(

**detectiveprettybi** : IM BECOMING A COP TONIGHT

**detectiveprettybi** : THATS WHAT YOU GUYS SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON

**captaincold** : whens the thing again

**bilance** : 8

**heatwave** : snart you have roughly 7 hours to make us disappear

**oliverqueer** : why!!!!!!

**oliverqueer** : i thought you were nice now!!!!!!

**captaincold** : you really think just bc we don’t steal any more we’re *nice*

**babybibibi** : i thought dating bar turned you nice

**babybibibi** : and that mick generally is just grumpy and has a questionable moral

**lesbianda** : well you’re not wrong 

**detectiveprettybi** : to this day the mick/Linda friendship surprises me

**pipes** : put mick together with a strong lesbian and you get a brotp for life

**captaincold** : you know that if we all were on a ship and it started to burn mick would wait for it to sink

**heatwave** : the fire would die where’s the problem 

**oliverqueer** : so would we

**heatwave** : where’s the problem

**pipes** : mick you truly are a legend

**lesbianda** : youre acting like thats any kind of new info smh

**notcis-co** : i’d gladly be burnt to death by mick

**pipes** : babe

**notcis-co** : it’s better than losing your hands because caiTLIN FREEZES THEM TO DEATH

**babybibibi** : its suffering

**irisbest** : why are you holding hands with cait i wanna hold hands with cait

**notcis-co** : exchange of body heat, it did not work out

**notcis-co** : bar resumed to just lying down on her hands

**captaincold** : they do radiate heat

**detectiveprettybi** : i could make a comment but i’d rather not be killed by snart

**detectiveprettybi** : so back to me! Im partying tonight!

**bilance** : so am i!!!!

**bilance** : iris btw shall we expect your dad or

**irisbest** : nope from what ive seen his evening plans were watching voice reruns with cecile

**lesbianda** : classic dad move

**oliverqueer** : i feel like detective west is the dad of us all

**notcis-co** : squad dad

**irisbest** : most of you havent even met him yet

**detectiveprettybi** : i havent met him

**bilance** : me neither

**pipes** : me neither

**oliverqueer** : me neither but he can still be my dad

**captaincold** : oliver queen would call joe west daddy: discuss

**irisbest** : oh god no

**spACEbar** : LEN

**pipes** : ohhhh u done fuck up

**lesbianda** : he ded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am now alternating procrastinating the sequel to the gc au and the sequel to the thiam fic i have going on. i truly am great.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's eddie's police ball and there's surprise guests wherever you look

**bilance** : LOOK WHO WE MET

**bilance** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : BICH THE FUC

**pipes** : gasp did linda, Certified Feminist, just say bitch

**lesbianda** : YES I DID WHAT IS MY GIRLFRIEND DOING THERE

**lesbianda** : I DID NOT KNOW SHE’D BE THERE

**lesbianda** : HOW DID I NOT KNOW SHE’D BE THERE

**captaincold** : what do you call a misinformed journalist

**lesbianda** : if any of you says anything regarding fake news i’ll chop off their dick

**lesbianda** : yes cisco even your metaphorical one

**notcis-co** : huh

**pipes** : so what IS your girlfriend doing there

**lesbianda** : sara pls ask my girlfriend what she’s doing there

**bilance** : welcoming new cops i guess 

**bilance** : she and eddie are hitting off

**notcis-co** : this is so wild

**captaincold** : someonell be getting an earful

**bilance** : “so does either of you know officer spivot” - my dad, just now

**captaincold** : i have questions

**bilance** : my dad works at the police academy in hub city, he’s the one who reocmmended eddie to come to central and he introduced us at the beginning of the semsster

**captaincold** : that actually answered all of them

**notcis-co** : i have no idea how the police system works it’s wild

**lesbianda** : does anybody know how the police system works

**pipes** : i feel like the police doesn’t even know how the police system works

**bilance** : can confirm

**bilance** : “dad how does the police system even work” - “[long sigh]”

**notcis-co** : your dad already is an icon

**captaincold** : he already was for hating oliver

**pipes** : cut the guy some slack he lets me live in his house for free

**pipes** : he also lets your sister live in his house for free

**captaincold** : damn pipes who changed you

**notcis-co** : he’s snappy today dw

**notcis-co** : tho he’s right man

**bilance** : did hartmon just put snart in his place

**snowflake** : this entire evening is so wild

**lesbianda** : okay so patty spontaneously went there as it seems

**notcis-co** : spontaneously travelling from cal to illi like if u can relate

**lesbianda** : dont ask me how she did it but yeah

**spACEbar** : hey isnt travelling between timezones basically time travelling

**captaincold** : you have been BANNED from saying ANYTHING related to time travel

**notcis-co** : ^

**pipes** : ^

**snowflake** : ^

**spACEbar** : WHAT DID I DO

**notcis-co** : you get all worked up about it

**snowflake** : yeah one day you’ll have a heart attack it’s not good for your anxiety bar

**spACEbar** : :(

**bilance** : hey guys

**bilance** : what do you say are the chances of bruce wayne having a ~10yo kid

**pipes** : I’m

**pipes** : what

**bilance** : well you see Bruce Wayne showed up

**bilance** : and with him his butler but also a small boy

**notcis-co** : oh my god?

**lesbianda** : DID BRUCE WAYNE FATHER A CHILD

**bilance** : WHERES OLIVER WHEN YOU NEED HIM

**pipes** : HES OUT WITH FELICITY 

**bilance** : I DONT SAY THIS LIGHTLY BUT DAMN FELICITY 

**spACEbar** : HOW IS EDDIE TAKING THINGS

**bilance** : HES STILL OFF WITH PATTY HE MIGHT NOT KNOW BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE IS HERE

**captaincold** : here’s the plan: talk to Wayne 

**captaincold** : you did have a nice chat at the queens didn’t you 

**bilance** : “oh hello Bruce nice to meet you again IS THIS YOUR FUCKING SON”

**notcis-co** : JUST DO IT

**spACEbar** : DONT LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS

**pipes** : YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMORROW

**bilance** : I DONT HAVE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOUR NERD OFF

**snowflake** : I can’t believe the evening gets weirder

**captaincold** : Not one but two of us is involved what do you expect 

**snowflake** : fair

**bilance** : oh god my dad wants to go talk to him 

**bilance** : this will be A Thing

**notcis-co** : oh boy

**lesbianda** : oh guys patty just sent me a pic of her and Eddie

**lesbianda** : do i Tell her to keep him away from Bruce Wayne

**captaincold** : no i want something to laugh

**spACEbar** : dont be cruel Len

**pipes** : Yeah don’t be cruel Len

**captaincold** : I’ll murder you in your sleep

**notcis-co** : pls do it in the Quiver tho I can’t afford the cleaning

**pipes** : my boyfriend everyone 

**lesbianda** : “Hey babe it appears that Bruce Wayne is at the ball and has a child with him. And Eddie has a fucking crush so I have no idea how he might react to that” sound good?

**snowflake** : what are we even expecting

**snowflake** : like are we shocked bruce wayne might have a kid or do we think eddie could lose his crush or

**spACEbar** : im fearing eddie might start a screaming contest in shock over either thing really

**notcis-co** : ^

**notcis-co** : eddie, seeing bruce: AAAAAAAAAAA

**notcis-co** : eddie, seeing the kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAA

**notcis-co** : eddie, learning the kid is bruce’s: AAAAAAAAAAAA

**notcis-co** : eddie, feeling his crush fade: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**pipes** : nah he swallows it and pines in silence

**pipes** : eddie’s not as prominent as yall think

**captaincold** : pls tell me pretty boy can get all sulky

**lesbianda** : hell yeah

**lesbianda** : you seen that face? He’s probably rocking that look

**bilance** : um

**bilance** : so bruce wayne has. An Effect

**snowflake** : oh no what did you do

**bilance** : so apparently that kid is not his but from an orphanage and hes dreaming of becoming a police man so bruce went HEY lets take the boy to this police ball

**bilance** : anyway my dad went with the boy (whos name apparently is dick? Poor kid) to greet some people and show him around, leaving me alone with brucie

**pipes** : so did you kiss him

**bilance** : ???? no? I have a gf???

**captaincold** : yeah pretend you dont have a list

**spACEbar** : please continue

**bilance** : thank you bar, you’re the best

**bilance** : anyway so bruce and i chat and at one point he actually goes ‘so i never heard anything else of that guy you filmed me for’

**lesbianda** : oh my god

**bilance** : let it be known the guy has beautiful mesmerizing blue eyes and i had no control over myself

**notcis-co** : WHAT DID YOU DO

**bilance** : I BLURTED “OH YEAH SURE ACTUALLY GUY’S HERE”

**bilance** : and now bruce wayne desperately wants to meet eddie thawne

**bilance** : we’re going to look for him in a moment

**pipes** : j e s u s

**spACEbar** : WARN HIM

**bilance** : DO YOU THINK HE WOULDNT HAVE REPLIED BY NOW IF HE CHECKED HIS PHONE

**captaincold** : lmao linda text your gf

**lesbianda** : already on it

**notcis-co** : “lmao” - leonard snart, 2018

**lesbianda** : patty says she’s gonna tell him gently

**spACEbar** : how gently is gently

**snowflake** : better expect the worst

**notcis-co** : i have faith in eddie

**detectiveprettybi** : IM GONNA GET BILLIONAIRE COCK TONIGHT

**pipes** : Eddie he literally has a kid with him

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah but also his butler

**notcis-co** : is Bruce Wayne even attracted to men

**spACEbar** : if only Oliver were here

**detectiveprettybi** : y’all want to see me suffer huh 

**captaincold** : hell I dont like you but I wish you the best of luck

**lesbianda** : that was weird 

**captaincold** : gotta distract yourself from my Datemate

**pipes** : ah

**lesbianda** : good to know a kid is not a dealbreaker then

**snowflake** : well it’s not Bruce’s 

**lesbianda** : still got it with him 

**pipes** : if Eddie does end up sleeping with Bruce Wayne I believe he can achieve anything 

**bilance** : Patty and I have removed ourselves from the men in question 

**lesbianda** : always the better move really

**notcis-co** : i feel like if we don’t hear anything from eddie in the next two hours he actually succeeded

**bilance** : bold of you to assume a police party ever ends

**captaincold** : didnt know cops were that much fun

**bilance** : jk im surprised its 10pm and theres still so many ppl

**captaincold** : ah

**spACEbar** : joe always stays out for quite long at christmas parties

**pipes** : oh bar

**pipes** : you sweet summerchild

**spACEbar** : oh SHIT YIKES

**notcis-co** : they grow up so fast

**spACEbar** : im older than you

**notcis-co** : not by much

**snowflake** : honestly im wishing eddie the best tbh

**bilance** : lowkey same

**pipes** : highkey same

**notcis-co** : get some!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! did i mention I have a pinterest board for this fic? there's sections for each character and also some ships! check it out [here](https://www.pinterest.de/remuzlupin/fic-i-just-wanna-have-fun-and-get-rowdy/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oliver worries about the crime rate in his town. you know, like in canon.

**irisbest** : eddie i hope you scored

**notcis-co** : oh hey iris where have you been yesterday

**irisbest** : out with lisa

**irisbest** : which translates to: we annoyed mick while he worked

**babybibibi** : ohhh evil

**captaincold** : yeah he came home complaining

**oliverqueer** : eddie please tell me you did not sleep with bruce

**pipes** : so DOES he like men

**notcis-co** : impeccable timing babe

**pipes** : yeah you know me

**captaincold** : pipes is always there when it’s about queer billionaires

**pipes** : i used to be a queer millionaire so i’m just staying in my circle really

**irisbest** : are you boasting about something that’s no longer relevant

**pipes** : are you saying my parents disowning me is no longer relevant

**pipes** : that’s really insensitive iris west

**notcis-co** : calm the sarcasm hart

**captaincold** : queen never answered

**oliverqueer** : bc queen doesn’t have an answer

**notcis-co** : is there a way queen can elaborate on that

**oliverqueer** : hell im not even close enough to bruce to say whether he’s ever looked at any men

**oliverqueer** : and he certainly hasnt come out to me so like

**babybibibi** : did sara ever come back to the quiver

**pipes** : no eddie and her got a hotel room anyways

**irisbest** : no way of snooping 

**irisbest** : incredible

**captaincold** : where’s linda

**oliverqueer** : sleeping i guess

**oliverqueer** : it is 8 in the morning on a sunday after all

**babybibibi** : smh we all have fucked up sleep schedules huh

**notcis-co** : bold of you to assume i ever had one

**babybibibi** : true

**pipes** : hah yeah

**irisbest** : bit more enthusiasm here pls its the first sunday of the break

**pipes** : theres many more to come

**pipes** : speaking of imma take a nap

**notcis-co** : come take one here

**captaincold** : boning session

**pipes** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**irisbest** : trash boys

**pipes** : at your service

**oliverqueer** : what’s everyone’s plans for today

**oliverqueer** : except sex i guess

**captaincold** : robbing a museum

**oliverqueer** : hah

**irisbest** : movies + ice cream with wally

**babybibibi** : aw which movies

**irisbest** : maze runner

**irisbest** : no you cant come we have a long overdue sister + brother bonding day

**irisbest** : i guess i could make an exception for other family members

**oliverqueer** : wait snart was kidding right

**pipes** : is it acceptable to cross central in sweats

**captaincold** : as was said it’s the first sunday of break

**captaincold** : it could always pass as a walk of shame

**notcis-co** : hartley rathaway: walk of shame PRE sex

**babybibibi** : do you think you could legally change your last name to pipes

**irisbest** : didnt we have another name for him already picked out

**captaincold** : i gotta admit thatd be cool af

**oliverqueer** : please tell me snart was kidding

**pipes** : babe forget the sex you need to explain to me how i can change my legal name

**babybibibi** : did hartley???? Just say no to sex????

**captaincold** : they’ll still fuck dw

**babybibibi** : i have actually no doubt

**oliverqueer** : snart

**bilance** : i am sad to report that

**bilance** : [image attached]

**notcis-co** : ohhh oh no

**irisbest** : aw poor eddie

**babybibibi** : rip

**captaincold** : how do you know he didnt just climb into bed after he and wayne got it on

**bilance** : do you think eddie thawne would sleep with a billionaire and let it end after one round

**captaincold** : maybe wayne was a bad lay

**pipes** : do you really think that

**notcis-co** : maybe eddie was a bad lay

**irisbest** : nope

**captaincold** : well then its sad

**oliverqueer** : SNART ARE YOU REALLY PLANNING TO ROB A MUSEUM

**babybibibi** : did snart just feel sorry for someone else

**irisbest** : he does that sometimes

**notcis-co** : aw

**pipes** : we are now logging off i have arrived at la casa de ramon

**bilance** : have fun ;)

**notcis-co** : he seriously greeted me with questions about name changes 

**notcis-co** : the fun will have to wait

**captaincold** : pretty sure pipes is such a nerd he considers that fun

**babybibibi** : you know i cant actually testify to the opposite

**spACEbar** : am i the only one who’d advise hartley AGAINST doing that

**spACEbar** : hartley pipes does not have a good ring to it

**bilance** : pipes rathaway

**irisbest** : no thats still the name of the assholes

**oliverqueer** : WHY DOES NOBODY EASE MY WORRIES HERE

**detectiveprettybi** : pipes ramon

**spACEbar** : that actually does sound nice

**captaincold** : it’s settled, pipes and cisco have to marry 

**bilance** : would you have said so if literally anyone but bar had approved

**captaincold** : im actually not sure

**babybibibi** : aw

**irisbest** : EDWARD THEODORE THAWNE

**lesbianda** : IS YOUR SECOND NAME ACTUALLY THEODORE

**irisbest** : EXPLAIN YOURSELF

**lesbianda** : EDDIE TEDDY

**spACEbar** : EDDIE TEDDY

**spACEbar** : brb changing his name in my phone

**detectiveprettybi** : i cant believe iris embarrasses me in front of my crush

**captaincold** : excUSE yOU

**bilance** : wow

**babybibibi** : eddie vs snart the actual death match

**oliverqueer** : i hate you all

**irisbest** : same as oliver rlly

**detectiveprettybi** : bruce was not up to sex he had a kid with him

**spACEbar** : …. And otherwise he wouldve agreed?

**detectiveprettybi** : he did flirt back

**detectiveprettybi** : he did a lot on his own

**bilance** : i sure hope you did not do a lot on your own later on

**detectiveprettybi** : shower

**bilance** : hm

**babybibibi** : i love that we all have no sense of privacy

**detectiveprettybi** : i have now retreated to casual texting and hoping for the best

**captaincold** : inspiring

**irisbest** : i am so proud of you

**spACEbar** : well thinking about it oliver couldve always given you bruce’s number

**detectiveprettybi** : well fuck bar you mastermind whyd you never say so before

**spACEbar** : finals stress

**spACEbar** : it only occured to me just now

**bilance** : well it definitely never occured to the rest of us

**babybibibi** : i for one am amazed that eddie came so far

**captaincold** : same actually

**oliverqueer** : WHY DO YOU IGNORE ME

**lesbianda** : jesus christ oliver you big crybaby they are not robbing a bank otherwise there’s no way snart wouldve still let mick sleep

**captaincold** : who says that

**irisbest** : common sense

**babybibibi** : dude we kinda know you

**detectiveprettybi** : im pretty sure youd obsesses over a plan twenty hours before

**spACEbar** : len, babe,

**bilance** : also mick wouldve been complaining already

**lesbianda** : yeah so he’s still sleeping

**oliverqueer** : thank you linda

**lesbianda** : i did a service to the others not you

**bilance** : best gal!!!

**bilance** : i’ll give your girlfriend a kiss from you

**lesbianda** : youre meeting again???

**detectiveprettybi** : they agreed that we’d bring patty to the airport

**irisbest** : thats still so wild honestly

**babybibibi** : what isnt in this group


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tomorrow's newspaper headline may be 'hartley rathaway: a local idiot' or 'yes close-minded people are the worst'

**lesbianda** : hey cisco can i ask you something about your transition

**lesbianda** : like its not general interest more in your personal one

**notcis-co** : uh yeah sure

**notcis-co** : not like anyone here has any secrets tbh

**captaincold** : i kinda wish we did

**oliverqueer** : amen

**irisbest** : awomen

**lesbianda** : ok so i’ve seen multiple vlogs of trans men who just. Let their beards grow and i was just wondering if you ever had one

**lesbianda** : bc i cant imagine it and i need To Know

**detectiveprettybi** : now that’s an interesting question

**babybibibi** : the answer is a sad no

**notcis-co** : it’s a happy no because i would look ridiculous with a beard

**notcis-co** : we had this discussion often enough

**babybibibi** : you never tried it!!!!

**notcis-co** : because even caitlin said it’d look bad!

**oliverqueer** : woah caitlin saying something negative seems v final

**detectiveprettybi** : idk i think it could look good

**babybibibi** : thank you

**irisbest** : i cant really picture it

**captaincold** : theres only one solution

**captaincold** : PIPES

**oliverqueer** : if this actually summons him im impressed

**lesbianda** : do you guys want to pressure cisco into growing a beard by involving his boyfriend

**notcis-co** : you know as much as i hate this im curious what he has to say

**notcis-co** : also im sure snart already called him to have him enter the chat and look like he has the ability to summon hart

**captaincold** : lies and slander

**pipes** : hello i was summoned

**captaincold** : goddammit pipes

**pipes** : …. by this chat only and not by text messages?

**pipes** : anyway whats up

**oliverqueer** : scroll up, you’re in for drama

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**notcis-co** : notepad emoji

**lesbianda** : magnifying glass emoji

**irisbest** : teapot emoji

**oliverqueer** : why the teapot

**irisbest** : getting the tea ready to sip later

**oliverqueer** : …. Okay

**pipes** : oh uh

**pipes** : listen im a twink who likes twinks

**captaincold** : are you saying i am a twink

**pipes** : ….

**pipes** : i like a twink /at the moment/?

**oliverqueer** : im new to the queer men club so lemme ask: *is* cisco a twink tho

**babybibibi** : that more than anything probably

**captaincold** : hm maybe a circuit queen

**detectiveprettybi** : ive never seen him shirtless but i feel like he’s not muscular enough

**irisbest** : it’s like youre speaking another language

**notcis-co** : honestly not even i know what that is

**lesbianda** : lemme try my hand 

**lesbianda** : i know for sure that mick is not a bear

**captaincold** : ofc mick is not a bear a bear is hairy

**oliverqueer** : so what is he

**pipes** : a jock

**babybibibi** : huh yeah. Makes sense

**irisbest** : i don’t understand any of these

**notcis-co** : yeah it’s confusing shit that i try to avoid

**lesbianda** : i cant even differentiate between butch and femmes

**lesbianda** : i sure hope there’s not more categories for lesbians that i don’t know about

**pipes** : being gay is a chore

**pipes** : a fun chore tho

**detectiveprettybi** : literally which chore is fun

**notcis-co** : organizing your books

**lesbianda** : organizing in general

**babybibibi** : ohhh agreed

**irisbest** : can we get back to why cisco won’t become a bear

**notcis-co** : bc it looks like shit

**babybibibi** : you never tried!!!

**babybibibi** : hartley tell him to try!

**pipes** : …

**pipes** : i am a firm believer in people making their own choices

**detectiveprettybi** : coward

**lesbianda** : why do lots of trans men make the choice to grow their facial hair

**lesbianda** : can i finally get an answer

**notcis-co** : lots of people are trying out what they can do with the extra T

**notcis-co** : but honestly latinos have more than enough body hair anyways, ive been used enough to shaving lol

**irisbest** : oh relatable

**lesbianda** : hell yeah same

**pipes** : wait are u telling me people with more estrogen grow facial hair

**irisbest** : i

**irisbest** : haRTLEY

**lesbianda** : HARTLEY WHAT

**notcis-co** : BABE YOU ARE A FUCKING SCIENCE GENIUS 

**lesbianda** : ARE YOU KIDDING ME

**irisbest** : WHAT THE FUCK

**notcis-co** : HONES T LY

**pipes** : … i feel stupid

**babybibibi** : yoU SHOULD

**irisbest** : oh my god im so

**captaincold** : what the fuck pipes

**lesbianda** : i thought you couldnt be more ignorant about women than a straight boy

**lesbianda** : but damn gay cisboys are truly something

**oliverqueer** : id actually been surprised hartley isnt scared of vaginas

**pipes** : i feel attacked

**irisbest** : YOU SHOULD HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WE GROW FACIAL HAIR TOO

**heatwave** : h a r t l e y 

**captaincold** : okay who wrote this because it sure as hell wasnt mick

**heatwave** : Sara

**detectiveprettybi** : im scared of sara and mick hanging out together

**pipes** : hey eddie you were awfully quiet while i got busted

**detectiveprettybi** : i was literally left speechless

**detectiveprettybi** : like… that’s basic shit

**pipes** : ill have yall know i never even had sex ed

**lesbianda** : wait what

**notcis-co** : we literally had half a semester on that in bio class

**notcis-co** : like i know we werent in the same but it was in the curriculum

**pipes** : parents kept me out of it 

**pipes** : if it went their way i’d still wonder where kids come from

**irisbest** : holy shit

**captaincold** : damn who taught you

**pipes** : internet

**pipes** : also spring awakening

**irisbest** : ofc spring awakening

**heatwave** : what’s spring awakening

**notcis-co** : oh boy

**irisbest** : i heard from bar how bad he is about it

**irisbest** : rip to both sara and mick

**heatwave** : aaaand he’s calling

**detectiveprettybi** : goodbye

**oliverqueer** : in short what is it

**babybibibi** : his fav musical

**oliverqueer** : ah

**lesbianda** : i will now retreat to writing an angry post about sex ed

**irisbest** : i literally cant believe the assholes

**captaincold** : honestly even my father gave me the talk

**detectiveprettybi** : impressive

**captaincold** : granted only bc he thought i’d fuck around and accidentally have a kid that’d be a burden bc obvsly they are nothing but that

**detectiveprettybi** : … sure

**babybibibi** : i cant believe people like that exist

**irisbest** : sadly they do

**captaincold** : not for much longer hopefully

**oliverqueer** : … i will just pretend this relates to a change of times and not death

**detectiveprettybi** : it’s for the better ollie


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people are missing, hartley is tired and cisco has a great day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i saw the best truck today and honestly? i laughed for four hours. i'm still laughing about it.

**pipes** : im tired

**lesbianda** : then go to bed??

**lesbianda** : it’s break who cares if it’s only noon

**pipes** : i’m sure dr christina mcgee would care

**irisbest** : ohhhh ure at work

**bilance** : a moment of silence pls

**pipes** : you guys are awful

**snowflake** : go get that money hartley!!!!

**pipes** : thanks ronnie

**snowflake** : how do you guys always do that

**bilance** : contrary to popular believe you and your gf are NOT the same person

**snowflake** : excuse me she’s my fiaNCEE

**irisbest** : I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE

**lesbianda** : IKR

**lesbianda** : WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT I TEAR UP

**snowflake** : GIRL ME TOO

**pipes** : even I do not have the words

**bilance** : hartley it’s been established that you’re not a source of common sense

**pipes** : rude

**lesbianda** : you fucked up

**oliverqueer** : good morning and by good i mean bad bc tommy woke me up by jumping on the bed

**oliverqueer** : nevERMIND THE FACT THAT I’M AT FELICITY’S RN

**snowflake** : it’s past noon

**bilance** : the only times oliver gets up before noon is when he has class

**pipes** : what did the man want

**oliverqueer** : god he’s flipping out bc thea is visiting in A WEEK

**oliverqueer** : tho he pretends he’s just worried roy and sin won’t be comfy enough

**irisbest** : who are they

**bilance** : roy’s her bf and we’re not rly sure but we think they both might be dating sin as well but maybe not

**lesbianda** : wild

**captaincold** : digging the name sin here

**pipes** : god i love snart’s timing

**oliverqueer** : yeah they chose it well

**bilance** : currently wondering whether three-letter-names are a must-be for they pronoun users

**irisbest** : it almost seems like it

**snowflake** : we should make a study about that

**pipes** : great! We know two people who use they pronouns and they both have three letter names, the rate is 100% at this point

**lesbianda** : thank you very much

**pipes** : more interesting than this paper anyways

**oliverqueer** : getcha head in the game

**snowflake** : OH CAN WE MAKE A HSM MARATHON AT SOME POINT

**captaincold** : no

**pipes** : rude

**lesbianda** : if we do that i’ll not shut up about the fact that gabriella and sharpay are lesbians

**bilance** : ryan evans, a canonical gay icon

**oliverqueer** : didn’t he end up with the pianist

**bilance** : LISTEN DO YOU THINK HE’S STRAIGHT

**snowflake** : I DON’T DANCE IS A METAPHOR FOR HOMOSEXUALITY

**pipes** : HE AND CHAD SWITCHED CLOTHES RANDOMLY????

**irisbest** : i’ll say it loud and clear troy bolton is the only hetero in that goddamn series

**lesbianda** : truth

**oliverqueer** : okay i get it

**pipes** : damn i wish i could listen to music here

**snowflake** : shall we sing to you

**captaincold** : god please no

**pipes** : noooooooo that’d only make it worse

**captaincold** : i agree

**irisbest** : oh hey snart can you tell bar to come home soon

**captaincold** : they’re not here

**irisbest** : what

**irisbest** : where are they

**captaincold** : idk maybe out with cisco?

**pipes** : nah cisco’s with eddie only

**bilance** : yeah i saw them earlier

**snowflake** : they’re not with cait either she’s boxing with mick

**oliverqueer** : that is still so incredible

**lesbianda** : why do you have her phone even ronnie

**snowflake** : she left it at home for less distractions

**irisbest** : so where is bar

**lesbianda** : maybe they’re having a life of their own

**pipes** : yeah don’t copy your dad’s controlling behaviour iris

**irisbest** : i’m not!!!!!

**irisbest** : just ik we all love the shit outta them but they don’t actually have rl friends outside this group so

**captaincold** : dw they’re probably just chillin somewhere alone

**notcis-co** : BEHOLD FOR WE HAVE SEEN THE GREATEST THING

**notcis-co** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : oh my god

**pipes** : outstanding babe

**detectiveprettybi** : WHY IS NOBODY EXCITED THIS IS THE BEST THING

**notcis-co** : IT’S LITERALLY ME

 

**notcis-co** changed their username to  **transco**

 

**detectiveprettybi** : WHY IS IT CALLED TRANSCO

**lesbianda** : my guess is that it’s short for transport company or something

**snowflake** : god ever since i have known cisco he points at any truck that reads “trans__” and says ‘that’s me!’

**snowflake** : and now finally,,,

**detectiveprettybi** : god i just caught up i hope bar is okay tell them i love them

**captaincold** : no

**irisbest** : so they ARE with you!

**captaincold** : they aren’t

**captaincold** : it should be a general rule that we don’t let eddie flirt with ppl

**lesbianda** : hm yeah

**oliverqueer** : definitely

**bilance** : yeah

**irisbest** : he can flirt with me any time

**pipes** : god get a room

**transco** : ronnie is the only one who understands me :(

**snowflake** : sike shouldn’t have broken up with me

**bilance** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**detectiveprettybi** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH

**lesbianda** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH

**irisbest** : SHOTS FIRED 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie's got mail

**irisbest** : SO BAR’S STILL NOT HOME AND NOBODY HAS SEEN THEM SINCE LAST NIGHT

**irisbest** : THEY WONT PICK UP THEIR PHONE SO IF ANYONE COULD TRY TO CONTACT THEM

**transco** : they still didn’t show up?????

**irisbest** : `NO

**irisbest** : SO IF ANYONE KNOWS WHERE THEY ARE THEY BETTER SPEAK UP NOW

**bilance** : damn i kinda regret that we made the detective drop his alerts now

**irisbest** : YEAH SAME FOR US ACTUALLY

**detectiveprettybi** : damn wheres snart

**oliverqueer** : he said he didnt have a clue where they are

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah but maybe he knows now!

**lesbianda** : he’s asleep

**lesbianda** : and there’s no sign of them anywhere

**transco** : we’ll come back to you crashing at snart’s after we fOUND MY BEST FRIEND

**detectiveprettybi** : we should build teams

**detectiveprettybi** : cisco you and caitlin go search near campus

**detectiveprettybi** : linda you and the katy perry song search near the river

**transco** : got that

**oliverqueer** : sara lets take the north of the city

**detectiveprettybi** : iris we’ll take big belly/jitters

**lesbianda** : good thinking

**irisbest** : STOP

**irisbest** : NO NEED FOR THAT 

**irisbest** : i have received a message, they’re well

**transco** : WHERE ARE THEY WHAT HAPPENED

**detectiveprettybi** : BOY AM I GLAD TO HEAR THAT

**detectiveprettybi** : I WAS SO WORRIED

**irisbest** : secret location, they need a time out

**transco** : :(

**oliverqueer** : why didnt they just tell us

**lesbianda** : im taking a wild guess and say: social anxiety

**detectiveprettybi** : they don’t need to tell us everything you dingus

**bilance** : yeah oliver respect other people’s privacy

**oliverqueer** : why do our conversations always end up with y’all hating on me

**pipes** : natural flow of the world

**transco** : easy babe he lets you live in his house

**transco** : this flat is not made to keep two people for a longer period of time

**pipes** : </3

**lesbianda** : are you guys already talking about moving in together. I’m

**pipes** : no pay attention we’re talking about how don’t move in together

**detectiveprettybi** : you’re precious nerds

**captaincold** : hey iris tell me where my datemate is

**irisbest** : no

**captaincold** : do it

**irisbest** : no

**irisbest** : they didn’t even actually talk to *me*

**irisbest** : so give them their time alone

**lesbianda** : he huffed and threw his phone in the corner before stomping into the bathroom

**lesbianda** : that’s actually kinda precious as well

**transco** : linda what exactly are you even do there

**lesbianda** : i crashed here

**lesbianda** : mick and i were out and i was too tired to leave

**bilance** : *inhales* youNG LADY

**lesbianda** : i know how dare i, a lesbian, sleep in the same place as a taken man and my aroace bestie

**irisbest** : i love that you caught up on this right away

**lesbianda** : do you know how often my parents forgot that i did, in fact, come out to them 

**lesbianda** : so many hook-ups their heteronormativity granted me

**pipes** : you’re truly living a dream

**detectiveprettybi** : linda park for president 2k20

**transco** : i thought we’d make the rock president next

**oliverqueer** : interesting but consider: not only the first female president but also asian AND a lesbian

**bilance** : that was a clever comment oliver i am proud of you

**oliverqueer** : one day i will murder you in your sleep

**heatwave** : best do it while she’s asleep, otherwise you’d have no chance

**irisbest** : sick burn!!!!!

**transco** : morning mick

**heatwave** : hey lil one

**irisbest** : damn is linda’s presence making mick a friendlier person

**lesbianda** : nah he’s just not awake enough yet to be himself

**bilance** : eddie just squealed when dig brought around his mail

**transco** : he brings you ur mail???? He’s truly the best

**irisbest** : what happened

**oliverqueer** : he lost his speech hang on

**oliverqueer** : OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH

**bilance** : [image attached]

**bilance** : LOOK AT THE MAN GO

**lesbianda** : WAIT WHAT

**transco** : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

**heatwave** : damn ur truly becoming a cop arent ya

**irisbest** : is that

**irisbest** : A JOB INTERVIEW

**lesbianda** : I’D SAY SO

**lesbianda** : WITH MY BOY DAVID

**transco** : ISNT THAT KINDA EARLY

**transco** : I THOUGHT YOUD ONLY GET TO KNOW AT THE END OF THE MONTH

**pipes** : it’s up to me to summarize the screaming contest

**pipes** : he’d thought so too 

**pipes** : according to sara it’s close to already being hired there

**pipes** : dig and laurel reason it’s nothing certain yet

**pipes** : oliver is making a toast

**pipes** : oh and lisa and bar just showed up at last

**irisbest** : EDDIE’S STAYING IN CENTRAL????

**lesbianda** : SCREAMS

**captaincold** : woah woah woah

**captaincold** : trail back to that last thing why are my sister and my datemate showing up together

**irisbest** : oh yes apparently bar chose to hide in one of the empty rooms in the quiver

**irisbest** : and your sister was the only one at home at that point so she hid them

**captaincold** : since when does she have your number

**irisbest** : she doesn’t, hartley told me

**captaincold** : PIPES

**babybibibi** : i already worked out today so i can eat popcorn now right

**transco** : i hate that you get up early

**transco** : but yeah lets see my bf get destroyed

**pipes** : LISA’S NOT EXACTLY SUBTLE WHEN SHE SMUGGLES FOOD FROM THE DINNER TABLE ALRIGHT

**pipes** : and I figured BAR would want me to keep quiet

**pipes** : Let Them Have A Break™

**captaincold** : …. Fine

**captaincold** : couldve texted me tho. Either of you

**pipes** : shrUG emoji

**babybibibi** : hartley averting trouble simply by pointing at bar is a mood

**irisbest** : honestly i feel like you could shit on snart’s fav painting and get away with your life if you just make him think of them

**lesbianda** : it’s so cute

**lesbianda** : he’s flustered

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**bilance** : awwwwww

**transco** : IS MICK WEARING GLASSES

**irisbest** : didnt we already establish that he needs reading glasses

**transco** : I THINK NOT

**transco** : A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT

**detectiveprettybi** : GUYS I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW

**babybibibi** : WE KNOW

**irisbest** : PROUD OF YOU BB

**bilance** : im starting a betting pool on how fast eddie’s gonna fall in love with the captain who’s in

**lesbianda** : oh me

**irisbest** : yep

**heatwave** : i put 10 bucks on bad flirting on top of that

**oliverqueer** : i think he can differentiate about private and professional life so i hold against that

**detectiveprettybi** : i’m… not that bad

**pipes** : dude 

**pipes** : im horny for every guy but you write hymns for everyone you encounter basically

**captaincold** : pipes is right

**pipes** : course i am

**captaincold** : you’re still on thin ice

**babybibibi** : COLD PUN!!!!!!!

**bilance** : im proud of ronnie for finally learnign xyr puns

**babybibibi** : thanks


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bar is back!

**spACEbar** : hey linda can you meet up with me

**spACEbar** : ill pay your jitters order

**transco** : bar!!!! Whats up are u alright

**spACEbar** : yea!

**spACEbar** : sorry for worrying you guys it was…. Depression Time™

**snowflake** : :(((( hugs

**spACEbar** : <3

**captaincold** : why would you speak to my *sister* but not to me

**spACEbar** : well

**spACEbar** : i felt like being alone for some time and the first thing i thought about was a guest room in the quiver

**spACEbar** : lisa was the one who was there when i showed up so,

**transco** : did you plan on breaking into the quiVER

**spACEbar** : no i just hoped not too many people would be present when i showed up

**transco** : amazing

**snowflake** : what was wrong can we help you in any way

**captaincold** : do you want to come over? mick’s sleeping

**spACEbar** : i should get home first

**spACEbar** : i think joe’s gonna be pretty pissed so that’s why i asked linda to meet up

**detectiveprettybi** : well that’s safe thinking

**detectiveprettybi** : imagine if you’d been AWOL and suddenly you showed up with snart

**spACEbar** : anyway i just felt overwhelmed bc holidays and feeling useless and yeah

**spACEbar** : what better method to deal with that than lying in bed the whole day and binging this netflix show about gay guys giving ppl make-overs

**pipes** : THAT’S what you have done and you did not tell me,

**pipes** : why what is that magical show

**transco** : yeah it sounds exactly like hartley’s shit

**snowflake** : gay and judging people? It’s him

**pipes** : thanks ronnie

**snowflake** : no that was me

**transco** : wow

**spACEbar** : queer eye!!!

**pipes** : thanks ill check that out

**detectiveprettybi** : oh ill join you

**pipes** : nice

**lesbianda** : ohh you dont need to buy me breakfast

**lesbianda** : tho it would truly be appreciated

**captaincold** : what did i do to you

**spACEbar** : i value your life

**irisbest** : i already told dad you needed a break

**irisbest** : he’s not pissed but he wishes you had told him before disappearing

**spACEbar** : … ill still take linda as my shield

**lesbianda** : i want to see my fav detective again anyways!

**detectiveprettybi** : here i thought im your fav detective

**transco** : youre not a detective yet

**detectiveprettybi** : …

**detectiveprettybi** : nice safe

**spACEbar** : iris do u want something from jitters

**irisbest** : ohhh bring donuts? <3

**irisbest** : a whole lot actually bc jax kinda forgot to go home last night

**detectiveprettybi** : whos jax

**captaincold** : someone’s jealous

**bilance** : says leonard snart, the most jealous man known to earth

**spACEbar** : wally’s bf

**pipes** : wait

**transco** : wait i thought he had a gf

**irisbest** : BAR

**spACEbar** : OH SHIT

**spACEbar** : i did NOT say anything

**babybibibi** : is it a genderfluid datemate who feels like a boy today

**heatwave** : he’s fucking 2 ppl

**irisbest** : no ew

**spACEbar** : excUSE YOU

**irisbest** : wally is a BABY who does NOT fuck ANYONE

**spACEbar** : he’s a KID

**lesbianda** : wow

**pipes** : i had my first time with 14

**irisbest** : youre a heathen

**pipes** : could a heathen speak 6 languages, start school a year earlier than other kids AND get a bachelor’s without doing anything for it

**transco** : easy babe youre not there yet

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah if anyones a baby here its hartley

**captaincold** : stop

**transco** : ew you make me sound like a pedo like that

**babybibibi** : back to the matter at hand…

**snowflake** : wally is dating two people? 

**snowflake** : ronnie is currently grinning like xe xemself invented being poly

**bilance** : precious

**irisbest** : yeah

**irisbest** : which joe doesn’t know

**spACEbar** : came to confide in us bc we’re The Best Big Siblings You Could Have

**irisbest** : also bc bar’s become like, a queer icon to him and im just always in the loop

**irisbest** : #trustworthy

**lesbianda** : ah i get 

**bilance** : yeah i can see how west could be overwhelmed by that actually

**babybibibi** : but good for them!!! I hope they get around to tell him one day

**spACEbar** : so yeah ill bring donuts for jax too

**spACEbar** : im almost at jitters @ linda

**pipes** : when the fuck did you leave

**spACEbar** : dig snuck me out

**detectiveprettybi** : dad <3

**pipes** : excuse you *I* have chosen for dig and laurel to be my parents

**bilance** : nephew!

**pipes** : auntie!

**oliverqueer** : i feel like some people here havent gotten enough sleep

**oliverqueer** : otherwise, bar if you need a time-out again youre welcome to stay in the guest room any time

**oliverqueer** : except next week bc thats when thea & co are staying here

**spACEbar** : thanks <3

**bilance** : sorry nyssa and i skyped the whole night

**lesbianda** : bar i’ll be right there i gotta scare off this dude here first

**heatwave** : what’ he doing

**lesbianda** : sitting

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**bilance** : oh my god kill him

**transco** : why are cis dudes like that!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : dick’s gotta breathe

**irisbest** : oh my god

**irisbest** : oh mY GOD

**heatwave** : hah i know who aint getting any soon

**detectiveprettybi** : i realized i might have said something stupid right when i hit send

**detectiveprettybi** : i will now pretend that im dead

**spACEbar** : i think it’s for the better

**bilance** : unbelievable

**lesbianda** : i am now off the subway

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : bar is a sight for sore eyes

**transco** : <3333

**bilance** : them!

**oliverqueer** : is that another of tommy’s shirts

**pipes** : yeah

**snowflake** : is it weird that i want to try one of those too

**transco** : nope

**irisbest** : nah

**captaincold** : actually i gotta agree

**babybibibi** : amazing


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cisco discovered something

**transco** : GUYS I JUST LEARNT SOMETHING

**transco** : AND I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT RONNIE RAYMOND, MY EX, NEVER MENTIONED IT TO ME

**babybibibi** : my life is currently flashing before my eyes

**babybibibi** : what did i dO

**transco** : HARRISON WELLS HAS A TWIN???

**pipes** : he has a what now

**babybibibi** : WHAT

**transco** : [image attached]

**transco** : ??????

**babybibibi** : HOW DID WE NOT KNOW THAT

**pipes** : holy sHIT

**pipes** : that man SCREAMS gay

**transco** : i know babe

**pipes** : this is both my worst nightmare and sweetest dream

**transco** : i know babe

**babybibibi** : ????? where did he come from

**detectiveprettybi** : where did he go

**oliverqueer** : where did he come from cotton eye joe

**detectiveprettybi** : yay ollie <3

**detectiveprettybi** : what i actually meant to say

**pipes** : IM HAVING A CRISIS

**oliverqueer** : and he’s screaming

**detectiveprettybi** : why should ronnie of all people know that

**transco** : did he take out his aids

**oliverqueer** : probably

**transco** : lmao good luck surviving that

**transco** : eddie. My dude. My pal. My friend.

**transco** : u do know ronnie is wells’ TA yes

**detectiveprettybi** : OOOHHH

**detectivepretttybi** : i just knew xe is *a* TA not whose

**lesbianda** : investigating isnt your forte

**oliverqueer** : i thought thats what we have you and iris for

**babybibibi** : that is indeed his twin im screaming

**babybibibi** : henry rudolph “hr” wells, writer and also, funnily enough, the inventor of this chat

**lesbianda** : henry rudolph.

**babybibibi** : get the best thing: his husband is called *randolph*. Life is brilliant

**lesbianda** : did he just say henry rudolph

**detectiveprettybi** : ya scroll up

**transco** : why

**irisbest** : WHAT THE FUCK

**spACEbar** : oh my god

**spACEbar** : literally what

**lesbianda** : im pissing myself

**lesbianda** : someone get snart

**spACEbar** : hang on

**oliverqueer** : anyone else confused?

**babybibibi** : does life get even more brilliant

**pipes** : did snart like dance with him at s&s or what

**captaincold** : i love coincidences

**spACEbar** : guys my second name is henry

**transco** : yes i know

**detectiveprettybi** : so i have been told

**irisbest** : yeah but wally’s second name is rudolph

**babybibibi** : NO

**lesbianda** : YES

**pipes** : NO

**spACEbar** : YES

**oliverqueer** : oh my god

**transco** : IT IS INDEED BRILLIANT

**lesbianda** : let me summarize: hartmon’s physics prof, whom hart had a boner for & who helped him get a job plus who IS ronnie’s boss, has a gay twin brother who bears the names of bar and wally

**bilance** : that almost makes up for being woken up by screaming

**transco** : my whole life just changed

**babybibibi** : oh my god it gets better

**babybibibi** : both wellses’ spouses have the same last name

**babybibibi** : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

**detectiveprettybi** : where the hell are you looking this up

**spACEbar** : imagine if they just married siblings

**oliverqueer** : oh god

**pipes** : i cant believe there’s a GAY WELLS

**pipes** : ill go and sob in a corner now

**transco** : you do that

**irisbest** : hartley better get something nice for valentine’s

**irisbest** : gotta fix his broken heart

**detectiveprettybi** : HOW MANY NIGHTS DOES IT TAKE TO COUNT THE STARS

**detectiveprettybi** : THAT’S THE TIME IT WOULD TAKE TO FIX MY HEART

**captaincold** : did that just actually happen

**lesbianda** : oh right guys patty is here for valentine’s 

**lesbianda** : so if any of you want to meet her

**detectiveprettybi** : PATTY!!!!

**bilance** : YES PATTY

**spACEbar** : i want to meet her!!!!

**captaincold** : you can just not ON valentine’s

**lesbianda** : well we obvsly have our own plans

**snowflake** : aw snart and bar are going out

**spACEbar** : ………..

**spACEbar** : we’re dating

**spACEbar** : that’s what ppl who are dating do

**irisbest** : shhh she’s still a shipper

**transco** : do you think i really need to up my plans now

**oliverqueer** : what were your plans

**transco** : musical & chill

**heatwave** : nerds

**captaincold** : spoken by someone who, to this day, has “if i were a rich man” as his ringtone

**heatwave** : spoken by the guy who dragged me into a cheap version of the musical & actlly was the one to set it as my ringtone

**captaincold** : but you never changed it

**spACEbar** : holy hell

**babybibibi** : bar’s musical boner thrives

**spACEbar** : i love you

**captaincold** : judaism: making cute ppl love you since i don’t even know when

**detectiveprettybi** : don’t you wanna say it back

**captaincold** : not here

**snowflake** : aw

**irisbest** : i think hartley appreciates a good musical and good sex, you might be fine cisco

**transco** : yay

**spACEbar** : what are you gonna watch

**transco** : newsies live on stage

**oliverqueer** : oh isnt that the one with??? Christian bale

**transco** : the movie yeah but not on stage obvsly

**transco** : also damn youre old ollie

**oliverqueer** : shut up

**oliverqueer** : im pretty sure im younger than the movie

**bilance** : i googled

**bilance** : yeah but only by a month

**oliverqueer** : s h i t

**spACEbar** : ive been meaning to check out the musical for a while but that one dude weirds me out

**irisbest** : since when are there creepy dudes in that

**lesbianda** : *besides pulitzer

**irisbest** : yeah

**spACEbar** : i swear the main dude looks 1:1 like kara’s best friend

**irisbest** : srsly????

**transco** : [image attached]

**pipes** : what the hell he looks like a dude i fucked once

**spACEbar** : he looks eXCATLY like winn!!!!!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : oh my god

**babybibibi** : hartley was yours called winn

**pipes** : not that i remember

**babybibibi** : crisis averted

**bilance** : ronnie, as the captain of this chat, i am giving you an award

**oliverqueer** : why are you even the captain!!!

**babybibibi** : aw thanks

**oliverqueer** : i opened this chat

**oliverqueer** : i am the admin

**oliverqueer** : i have the power

**bilance** : go kiss your gf ollie

**oliverqueer** : … ill do that

**snowflake** : thats why youre the captain

**bilance** : thanks


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it is valentine's day!

**detectiveprettybi** : happy valentines daaaayyyyyy

**detectiveprettybi** : heres a heart bc i LOVE YOU ALL so MUCH

**detectiveprettybi** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : yikes a depressed single

**detectiveprettybi** : im not depressed im FULL OF LOVE

**bilance** : eddie lets go to saints tonight

**irisbest** : wait youre not a depressed single

**bilance** : im a depressed long distance relationship girl

**detectiveprettybi** : fair

**irisbest** : linda is mick working tonight

**lesbianda** : could be im not sure

**lesbianda** : tbh i literally dont care for any of your plans tonight

**lesbianda** : my mind is occupied

**detectiveprettybi** : by LOVE

**lesbianda** : lol yea

**lesbianda** : im actuall on my way to the airport rn!!!!!!

**irisbest** : ahhh!

**irisbest** : gurl enjoy your time

**bilance** : eddie’s talked about love so much i’m surprised neither bar nor cait showed up yet

**detectiveprettybi** : ikr where are they

**irisbest** : bar’s currently out with wally

**bilance** : buy presents for the datemates?

**irisbest** : i’d dare say

**detectiveprettybi** : awwwwww

**heatwave** : im getting drunk tonight

**bilance** : since when are you a depressed single

**lesbianda** : nah he gets drunk every night

**heatwave** : ^

**snowflake** : that’s not good!

**heatwave** : how tf

**detectiveprettybi** : i swear cait has a sensor for unhealthy behaviour

**bilance** : no then she’d never be offline

**irisbest** : u right

**snowflake** : no seriously you can’t get drunk everyday

**heatwave** : not drunk drunk

**heatwave** : i cant pay so much

**pipes** : my grandfather’s doctor told him to drink a glass of red wine every night

**snowflake** : NOOOOOO

**lesbianda** : borderline alcoholic i told him

**snowflake** : honestly

**snowflake** : mick pls do not continue drinking every day

**heatwave** : i like alcohol

**bilance** : we all like alcohol

**bilance** : still

**captaincold** : if you can pull this off then i applaud y’all

**captaincold** : don’t expect an answer tho he just went to the bathroom

**irisbest** : did mick actually wake up before you

**captaincold** : im as surprised as you are

**detectiveprettybi** : #miracles

**oliverqueer** : you are impossible to ignore

**irisbest** : why do i feel like oliver has been awake since 4am to make sure all his plans are in order

**bilance** : v likely

**oliverqueer** : you are wrong

**pipes** : it was 5am i met him in the kitchen

**lesbianda** : aw

**oliverqueer** : HARTLEY

**irisbest** : why was hartley awake does he have secret plans for tonight as well

**detectiveprettybi** : nah just a fucked up sleep schedule

**pipes** : ^

**snowflake** : you and cisco fit so well

**lesbianda** : where is he anyways

**spACEbar** : with me

**spACEbar** : we figured if wally knows anyone who has experience with poly relationships its cisco

**spACEbar** : anyway

**spACEbar** : [video attached]

**detectiveprettybi** : it sounds like a rap battle dhfkfj

**pipes** : ladies and gentlemen the issue on the table

**pipes** : heteronormativity

**lesbianda** : monogamy

**captaincold** : straight people as always

**bilance** : all valid

**oliverqueer** : so did you tell wally you accidentally blurted out he’s dating two ppl

**irisbest** : i didnt say anything

**spACEbar** : me neither

**spACEbar** : he didnt even tell me he wanted to pick up cisco we suddenly stopped in front of his house

**snowflake** : i didnt know cisco and wally are friends

**spACEbar** : nah they arent

**irisbest** : not yet anyways

**spACEbar** : this is wild but apparently he has a hacker friend who found out cisco’s address

**captaincold** : i love this kid

**bilance** : ‘there’s other hackers than felicity????’ - oliver probably

**oliverqueer** : no???

**oliverqueer** : i know there’s other hackers

**detectiveprettybi** : for example her ex right

**pipes** : wow did you already unlock her sad backstory

**captaincold** : you didnt?

**oliverqueer** : snart i really hate when you do that

**irisbest** : we all do

**snowflake** : pretty sure bar doesn’t hate it

**pipes** : neither does mick probably

**heatwave** : oh no i sure hate it

**bilance** : are we talking about snart playing into his villain scheme

**bilance** : because i for one dig that

**pipes** : i have grown to dislike the phrase dig smth

**oliverqueer** : yeah its weird when you have a friend with that name

**pipes** : like in marauders fics where the word ‘serious’ is banned

**detectiveprettybi** : youre such a nerd

**detectiveprettybi** : it’s adorable

**transco** : it is

**transco** : but is it as adorable as THIS

**transco** : [image attached]

**bilance** : that’s so tacky i love it

**babybibibi** : are those MEMES on VALENTINES CARDS

**pipes** : oh no does that mean i get such a hideous thing

**transco** : you all will

**transco** : you can create some yourself

**transco** : i love central city

**detectiveprettybi** : i seriously cant say if im happy or not

**spACEbar** : we will now invest ourselves in this until it’s almost date time

**transco** : bye!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LADS!!!! I PASSED THE ORAL EXAM FOR MY BACHELOR'S DEGREE!!!! AHHHHH
> 
> also, because i know you're gonna as: yes, they will meet patty.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day after valentine's day :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i missed the one-year anniversary of this fic!! (what. when did that happen. (on 13th september) oh god.)   
> i'm incredibly untalented when it comes to stuff like that but i feel like celebrating somehow? would anyone be, like, interested in character moodboards if i put them on tumblr? they'd probably be a mess, so that'd fit to the fic at least hah

**oliverqueer** : um

**oliverqueer** : i may be unofficially engaged now

**bilance** : weren’t you already

**oliverqueer** : nO???

**irisbest** : WHAT

**irisbest** : TELL ME EVERYTHING

**oliverqueer** : it’s awkward actually

**oliverqueer** : but basically during dinner i just randomly said ‘god i wanna marry you’

**oliverqueer** : and felicity went okay

**detectiveprettybi** : ofc u’d fuck up finally proposing

**oliverqueer** : ikr

**oliverqueer** : not sure what to feel

**irisbest** : ok but nobody is surprised you agree on marrying each other, that’s common knoledge

**irisbest** : you still have a chance for a big proposal

**detectiveprettybi** : do a classic and ask her dad for her hand

**detectiveprettybi** : hashtag romance

**bilance** : more like hashtag sexism

**detectiveprettybi** : ;( that’s what i’d do

**irisbest** : oh darling,

**oliverqueer** : she doesnt talk to her dad

**oliverqueer** : he’s in prison

**transco** : god dammit

**transco** : why does everyone here have a parent in prison

**bilance** : chillax she’s not even in this chat

**pipes** : “chillax” - sara lance, 2018

**irisbest** : i cant believe the first thing you both do after waking up together is check this chat

**pipes** : who says it’s the first thing we did

**transco** : yeah we’ve been awake and busy for a while

**pipes** : ;)

**detectiveprettybi** : no surprise here

**oliverqueer** : so like i said it’s not official anyways

**bilance** : bc theres no ring?

**oliverqueer** : bc theres no ring

**irisbest** : i cant tell if that was psychic or an answer

**detectiveprettybi** : i miss dig

**bilance** : yeah im hungry

**irisbest** : why did he have to have a date too

**transco** : let the man live

**oliverqueer** : im inviting everyone for breakfast at jitters

**oliverqueer** : were heading there now so yall can join

**detectiveprettybi** : oliver i love you

**irisbest** : same

**bilance** : we’re gonna work on getting mick up then

**oliverqueer** : linda if you wanna come you can bring patty too

**pipes** : mick stayed in the quiver?

**pipes** : just how did you explain to the detective that he didn’t go back to his apartment?

**transco** : yeah i mean is he suddenly a fan of bar and snart spending the night together all alone

**detectiveprettybi** : they did come out to him as ace didnt they

**irisbest** : yea also dad had a date of his own that shoulda kept him busy

**transco** : eye emoji

**irisbest** : the only reason i didnt think of an excuse yet

**pipes** : did you get some

**detectiveprettybi** : dude we were both depressed singles on valentines

**detectiveprettybi** : ofc

**pipes** : nice

**oliverqueer** : i just realized something

**bilance** : oh dear

**oliverqueer** : eddie and detective west might work in the same station soon

**transco** : oH

**detectiveprettybi** : oh shit

**irisbest** : …

**irisbest** : suddenly i don’t want you around any more eddie

**irisbest** : off you go to blüdhaven

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s valid

**pipes** : it was nice knowing u

**transco** : we are currently leaving my apartment

**transco** : are you already at jitters

**oliverqueer** : almost

**detectiveprettybi** : sara has managed to wake up mick

**detectiveprettybi** : a fearless person that one

**lesbianda** : i love sara

**lesbianda** : thanks for the invite oliver we’ll stop by once we’re presentable

**bilance** : sweet

**heatwave** : food

**transco** : [image attached]

**transco** : come get it

**spACEbar** : I CANT WAIT TO MEET PATTY

**spACEbar** : :DDDD

**detectiveprettybi** : someone had a good time

**captaincold** : we’re very curious about the woman who makes linda park go all mushy

**pipes** : same

**bilance** : event: we will now see if mick’s bike can carry four ppl

**oliverqueer** : you are two daughters of cops, a future cop and a convict

**irisbest** : it’s enough to bail us out

**pipes** : good luck

**spACEbar** : god please be careful

**spACEbar** : also :( that mick has his bike

**pipes** : bar has a motorbike kink pass it on

**captaincold** : it took a while to develope but i’m glad it happened

**transco** : hfkdndmd,d

**pipes** : he’s actually cackling

**captaincold** : they went from shitting themself upon just seeing the bike to wanting to take it everywhere

**captaincold** : i am seriously delighted by that

**captaincold** : and now, if you’ll excuse me, i will be smothered to death

**lesbianda** : i love that he has enough chill to text that first

**pipes** : it’ll just end in making out

**lesbianda** : you’d know

**pipes** : ya

**irisbest** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : we walked in and mick immediately mentioned the unofficial engagement

**lesbianda** : awwwwwwww

**lesbianda** : they look so flustered

**detectiveprettybi** : we didnt even know he’s had the time to read through the chat

**captaincold** : he’s a quick reader

**spACEbar** : we’re waiting for our uber atm

**lesbianda** : hm i guess we’ll be on our way now too

**bilance** : laurel just texted that she and tommy will come here as well

**babybibibi** : WE’RE ON OUR WAY!!!!!

**babybibibi** : GOTTA MEET PATTY

**captaincold** : jesus i already feel bad for the other customers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, i'm writing **chapter 15** as we speak. i have a few plans but feel free to suggest topics for fillers!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie has news! also, there's a lot of references.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did start to create moodboards - which are totally just pics from my pinterest board thrown together, hah! anyways, idk how quickly i'll post new ones, but for the time being, here's [the tag](http://joanthangroff.tumblr.com/tagged/*gcau).

**snowflake** : i love patty i don’t want her to leave again :(

**spACEbar** : same i wish she went to CCC so she could join our group

**lesbianda** : awww

**detectiveprettybi** : did anyone else feel like she’s a female version of bar

**transco** : OH

**pipes** : holy shit

**lesbianda** : what

**lesbianda** : no

**irisbest** : face it lin in another life you and bar would be dating

**detectiveprettybi** : the dream

**spACEbar** : i??? No

**spACEbar** : i mean not no @ dating linda linda is great

**spACEbar** : but patty and i arent alike

**pipes** : no you are

**pipes** : you literally finished each other sentences

**transco** : your mental synchronization can have but one explanation

**babybibibi** : S C O

**transco** : sorry its a reflex

**irisbest** : you know what

**irisbest** : SNART

**detectivepretty** : HR Wells should write a @ feature for this app

**transco** : dont mention him hart might start crying

**pipes** : hey babe?

**transco** : yea

**pipes** : fuck you

**transco** : later

**lesbianda** : stop that

**captaincold** : i gotta be honest

**captaincold** : there WERE some parallels

**spACEbar** : et tu

**detectiveprettybi** : but did linda summon you or was that your ‘hartley is talking sex’ radar

**captaincold** : i refuse to answer that

**babybibibi** : fair

**lesbianda** : wtf

**lesbianda** : like i get theyre both sweet and nerdy but??

**pipes** : linda believe us there’s mORE

**captaincold** : they even had the same tone while talking sometimes it weirded me out

**irisbest** : it weirded SNART out

**spACEbar** : i dont like the two of you conspiring against me

**irisbest** : :(

**captaincold** : we’re not conspiring we’re saying how it was

**spACEbar** : >:(

**detectiveprettybi** : oh trouble in paradise

**transco** : millennial culture means you only use smileys when you don’t actually mean them

**transco** : theyre fine

**pipes** : not that youd understand us young folk

**detectiveprettybi** : i am literally only 3 years and 2 weeks older than cisco

**babybibibi** : does anyone even still understand what a millennial *is*

**oliverqueer** : way too many definitions

**lesbianda** : tru dat

**snowflake** : oh i just remembered

**snowflake** : eddie when is your interview @ ccpd

**detectiveprettybi** : 27th

**detectiveprettybi** : i have another one on the 23rd tho

**pipes** : why dont we know this

**babybibibi** : yeah where

**oliverqueer** : blüdhaven

**detectiveprettybi** : did you look at my mail

**bilance** : nah diggle did

**bilance** : he was a proud dad

**pipes** : awwww dad

**irisbest** : YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE GOING TO BLÜDHAVEN

**lesbianda** : isnt it slowly becoming close to #onlyingotham levels of crime

**irisbest** : I WAS JOKING THE WHOLE TIME

**detectiveprettybi** : hey at least id have a busy life then

**spACEbar** : we dont want you to have a busy life

**spACEbar** : youd forget about us

**transco** : and here i thought it was like 99% youd stay here :(

**babybibibi** : noooo

**bilance** : do you think i can make my dad bribe singh

**detectiveprettybi** : awww you guys

**detectiveprettybi** : also @ bar do you really think i could forget u

**captaincold** : slow down right there

**detectiveprettybi** : i meant all of you

**snowflake** : aw

**heatwave** : bye cop

**irisbest** : HE’S NOT GONE YET

**lesbianda** : damn i think i gotta visit my fav police captain and suggest an idea

**heatwave** : just sayin for a cop ure alright

**transco** : did mick just have feelings

**babybibibi** : that was… sweet

**captaincold** : that might jsut be the nicest thing he’s said in years

**captaincold** : and then he wastes it on the pretty boy

**spACEbar** : len be nice

**pipes** : yeah we all know youd miss him if he left

**detectiveprettybi** : dont waste your tears im still here

**snowflake** : we dont want our family to be ripped apart :((

**lesbianda** : i’ll do my best to prevent that

**oliverqueer** : do you think hacking could be a solution

**detectiveprettybi** : GUYS CHILL

**detectiveprettybi** : life has its way 

**detectiveprettybi** : also we’re getting way too sentimental here screw the future

**irisbest** : screw the future

**irisbest** : im using this as my slogan when im running for president

**pipes** : i thought linda was running for president

**lesbianda** : im running in 2020 iris is going 2024

**lesbianda** : we already have a plan

**bilance** : im voting for both of you

**spACEbar** : 2024 is gonna be iris’ year!!

**irisbest** : arm emoji

**transco** : we also need to tell HR to include emojis in this app smh

**babybibibi** : what if i already met HR but didnt realize bc i thought it was harrison

**captaincold** : if the vibes from the pic are anything to go by you would have been able to tell

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah ronnie trust your gaydar

**babybibibi** : true lol

**pipes** : im frustrated again

**transco** : ill help you with that

**pipes** : smirk emoji

**oliverqueer** : no sexting in the chat

**pipes** : then i will now go to cisco’s flat

**pipes** : byyyeeee

**lesbianda** : i should go and… spend some time with my gf as well

**heatwave** : yall horny af

**detectiveprettybi** : hey mick hows ray

**heatwave** : idk

**heatwave** : should probs find out

**captaincold** : well pretty boy i might have to applaud you for clearing the room for me

**spACEbar** : have fun with your docu babe

**babybibibi** : hah lame

**captaincold** : 

**babybibibi** : how did you do that

**babybibibi** : that scared me

**captaincold** : good


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a look into oliver's phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was originally planned to be a little edit on tumblr but i just aint talented enough, so you get it as a part of this story. it's also coincidentally the first thing i wrote for this, can you believe?
> 
> i hope the formatting makes it clear enough that you're reading this from oliver's perspective

  **WhatsApp group** : _The Quiver_

January 31 2018

 

**You** added  **Eddie Thawne** to the groupchat

 

**Eddie** : i can’t BELIEVE ur 

own gc is called quiver

**Eddie** : does bar know

**Hartley** : it’s safe to say 

everyone here loves memes

**Eddie** : amazing 

**Oliver** : in this gc we discuss 

chores and rules jsyk

**Sara** : actually the wheel 

of chores determines it but 

sometimes u gotta shout 

at the kids to remind them

**Hartley** : NOT a kid

**Eddie** : wtf is a Wheel of chores 

**Tommy** : it’s like the wheel of 

fortune but the opposite

**Lisa** : they have a big 

ceremony of spinning it 

every Sunday evening 

**Eddie** : that’s so wild I love it

**Oliver** : yeah thank ray for that

**Eddie** : I’ll do that. Appropriately

**Tommy** : unless that means 

it’s unsafe to enter the house 

you keep that out of here

**Eddie** : got it

**Laurel** : Hello and welcome to 

the Quiver, Edward Theodore 

Thawne.

We are gathered here to make

sure you did read the rules and

agree to uphold them. 

Present witnesses are: Oliver 

Jonas Queen, Thomas Merlyn, 

Hartley Rathaway, Lisa Snart 

and Sara Lance. 

The contract will be distributed 

by John Thomas Diggle and

myself, Dinah Laurel Lance.

**Eddie** : i

**Eddie** : what the fuck

**Oliver** : they do this every 

time dw

**Hartley** : you’ll also get a 

printed out version on Sunday

**Eddie** : this House is bitchin

**Laurel** : Dig will now state the rules.

**John** : 1. Sexual activities 

shall be limited to the room 

of the inhabitant(s) in question.

**Eddie** : i Love that it starts off 

with sex

**Sara** : we had ugly encounters 

**John** : 2. Each inhabitant is 

responsible for their own lunch. 

If someone’s spin at the Wheel 

of Chores reads „Cooking“, they 

shall take it upon themself to 

cook dinner. 

**John** : 3. Sunday evening is 

for the Wheel of Chores, 

grocery list making and paying

into the household budget.

**John** : 4. Each person shall

contribute 40$ per month into the 

househould budget. Should 

any amount be left over, it will 

be divided equally between

everyone except Oliver and 

Tommy, who have asked to be

kept from it. In exchange for 

the money each person can 

request things that should 

be bought by the inhabitant 

who spun „Grocery Shopping“ 

on the Wheel of Chores.

**John** : 5. One shall keep out of 

the other inhabitants‘ rooms 

unless told otherwise.

**John** : 6. Each inhabitant is 

responsible for their own laundry.

**John** : 7. Should an inhabitant 

invite someone over for dinner, 

they should tell the cook in due 

time. If necessary, it will be upon 

the inviting inhabitant to buy 

extra food for the guest.

**John** : 8. Should a guest stay for 

more than a day, the inviting 

inhabitant should announce it at 

least two days beforehand.

**John** : 9. Should an inhabitant leave 

something of theirs in an area outside 

their own room, it shall be left alone 

unless said otherwise. Bringing it to 

the inhabitant‘s room shall be asked 

for via this group for the presence of 

witnesses.

**John** : 10. „STAY AWAY FROM MY 

CACTI!“ - Lisa Snart

**Eddie** : beautiful

**Lisa** : thanks 

**John** : 11. Should a guest trigger 

negative reactions in another inhabitant, 

the inviting inhabitant is requested to 

resume into their room, taking the guest 

in question with them.

**Eddie** : is that why I was never in the 

living room recently when Tommy 

was home

**Tommy** : yes

**Eddie** : fair

**John** : Most frequent visitors of the 

Quiver include: Felicity Megan 

Smoak, Francisco Paco Ramon, 

Ronnie Raymond, Michael Rory, 

Leonard Snart, Bar Henry Allen, 

Helena Bertinelli, Raymond Carson 

Palmer (and in addition Nathaniel 

Heywood and Amaya Jiwe), Lyla 

Michaels and McKenna Hall.

**John** : Of these, frequent over-night 

guests are: Felicity Megan Smoak, 

Francisco Paco Ramon and Lyla 

Michaels.

**Eddie** : better add Iris Ann West to 

that for the time being

**Laurel** : will do 

**John** : Announced guests who will 

spend more than one day in the 

Quiver for the upcoming month are: 

Thea Dearden Queen, Roy William 

Harper Jr. and Sin Howard. 

They will stay for the week from 17-24 

February 2018.

**Eddie** : im Meeting Thea???? Sweet!

**Tommy** : Request to keep Eddie from Thea

**Tommy** : In fear of Incest jokes

**Hartley** : Veto

**Lisa** : veto 

**Sara** : Veto 

**Oliver** : Pro

**Laurel** : Pro

**John** : Veto

**Tommy** : Pro

**Eddie** : ???

**Eddie** : Veto???

**Laurel** : Request denied

**Tommy** : damn

**Eddie** : WHAT IS THIS HOUSE

**Laurel** : Edward Theodore Thawne, 

do you accept the stated rules?

**Eddie** : yes

**Eddie** : but I have a question 

**John** : shoot

**Eddie** : when IS dinner time

**John** : oh

**John** : I knew we forgot something 

**Laurel** : why didn’t anyone before 

mention that

**Lisa** : honestly I never actually read 

that shit

**Hartley** : I was just happy to have a 

home tbh

**Oliver** : youre idiots

**Tommy** : dinner is 7pm

**Eddie** : alright 

**Eddie** : I accept!

**Laurel** : Edward Thawne, by the power 

given to me by the inhabitants of the 

house called „The Quiver“, I welcome 

you to become one of us.

**Sara** : yay!!!!

**Sara** : suck it the queers will soon be 

dominating this house

**Eddie** : I Love this already 

  
  
  
  


**Thea Queen**

February 5 2018

 

what do u mean you only have 

1 spare room?

last I checked the house had /9/ 

bedrooms!

It’s a long story

did you adopt a bunch of strangers?

not strangers, no

… i’m curious.

a friend of mine got kicked out at home 

for being gay, another friend’s lease ran 

out & he doesn’t know yet whether hes 

staying in Central & another friends little

sister got out of foster care n needed 

a place to stay

wait the friend who was at ur press?

Yeah, hartley

damn the guy didn’t even wear his 

own clothes

but it’s ok i guess sin will share with

us anyways

hey?

dw I won’t tell mom

thanks

can’t wait to see u!!!

<3

  
  
  
  


**WhatsApp Group:** _ The Quiver _

February 7 2018

 

**Eddie** : Request to make Tommy do 

yoga in his own room

**Lisa** : wtf why

**Eddie** : hes hot and im not allowed to 

comment on that

**Eddie** : so id rather not see it

**Oliver** : ffs eddie

**Oliver** : do u get horny WHENEVER

u see a guy?

**Eddie** : let me live

**Eddie** : can we have a voting

**Lisa** : veto

**Lisa** : i enjoy the view

**Hartley** : ^

**Hartley** : ergo veto

**Oliver** : veto

**John** : veto

**Sara** : veto

**Laurel** : veto

**Eddie** : PRO

**Laurel** : I think even without Tommy’s 

voting it is safe to say: Request denied

**Eddie** : rude

**Oliver** : just go to ur room eddie

  
  
  
  


**Roy Harper**

February 12 2018

 

Hey, thanks for letting me and Sin 

stay as well.

np

ik yall could use a vacation

Yeah, Star’s crazy.

did u apply to colleges already?

Not sure if I’d get into any.

Maybe Star’s community college.

there’d be no shame in that, u kno

but u should apply to all the ones 

youd like anyway

Just to be rejected over and over? 

u dont kno that

look ccc took me too and i was 

bad at everything

Thea always says you weren’t bad, 

just lazy.

Plus, you are famous so you had 

a bonus.

i think i cant actually disagree with 

either of these

so u talked to thea?

Thea, Walter, Sin and even Malcolm.

u talked to MALCOLM about 

college????

Wow

Well, mostly he talked to ME.

yeah i can see that

Basically he told me I’m from a 

working class family and should 

stay there.

what the fuck

holy shit

dont u dare listen to him alright

But what if he’s right?

he isnt

also dont tell me u dont feel like 

doing it just to piss him off

A bit.

see?

you should talk to laurel or dig 

about this when ure here

theyre the realists after all

Okay.

Thanks, man.

any time!!

  
  
  


**Felicity Smoak**

February 13 2018

 

hey i love u

I love u too!!

What’s up?

nothing just felt like telling u

aw <3

can i come over later?

sure! U gonna be here for 

dinner?

i think bar’ll be here later

!!!! bar!!!

yeah they’re having a stargate 

marathon with eddie i think

either that or some musical with 

hart

nerds

ikr

so. Dinner?

who’s cooking?

Lisa

she’s trying something kosher, 

else i wouldn’t have asked

ohh

yes count me in

nice i’ll tell her

:)

see u later then!

i love you!

I love you too <3

  
  
  
  


**CCC Groupchat:** _Acing Things™_

February 15 2018

 

**spACEbar** : is there a name for ur sexuality when u fucking hate dicks but grinding is nice

**heatwave** : isnt that what lesbians are

**oliverqueer** : … there’s so much in this sentence im not even sure what to begin with mick

**oliverqueer** : well bar if u still feel like ure ace then ure ace

**oliverqueer** : and like its an umbrella term anyways so

**spACEbar** : hell idek if it counts as sex

**heatwave** : u and snart went at it?

**heatwave** : good 4 u

**oliverqueer** : u know obvsly that sex does not necessarily mean penetration

**oliverqueer** : u talk to him about it?

**spACEbar** : ofc

**spACEbar** : im just so confused by everything

**heatwave** : just do what u want lmao

**oliverqueer** : ^

**spACEbar** : labels are hard

**oliverqueer** : yeah they are

**oliverqueer** : ull figure it out

**spACEbar** : i hOPE

**spACEbar** : thanks <3

  
  
  


**Tommy Merlyn**

February 23 2018

 

We have a date in two 

days

dude i told you im not interested 

in u

Which is still pretty rude,

by the way.

WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE 

IT’S NOT LIKE YOU LIKE MEN

it’s a principle

…

w hat kind of date do we have

You know that old warehouse 

from ferris air?

yeah

we’re checking it out as a location

we are?

isnt it too far off to even be 

attractive to ppl

plenty of clubs are in former 

industrial areas

i’m doubting that somehow

well, it’s the only thing we have 

right now

i dont want to invest my 

money into nothing

we’re not even investing yet!

let’s just check it out!

give me one good reason

so the dude selling it has a good 

opinion about us and recs us to his 

fellow house selling friends?

they’re called estate agents

yeah those

Also thea said it could be Good™

… fine.

Yes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> roy uses proper grammar to compensate his poor upbringing (self-insert? me? never) and i love him


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's visitors in the quiver

**lesbianda** : patty left :((

**spACEbar** : :((

**irisbest** : :((

**transco** : :((

**babybibibi** : :((

**snowflake** : :((

**captaincold** : sry to hear that

**pipes** : wow emotions!

**babybibibi** : hart dont act like youre an expert on those

**pipes** : umMM EXCUSE? 

**pipes** : im great with emotions cisco tell xem

**transco** : i would but im pretty sure the 8th commandment translates to ‘you shall not lie’

**transco** : im a good catholic sorry

**captaincold** : dare i say

**captaincold** : cold

**irisbest** : wow

**lesbianda** : BACK TO THE TOPIC

**lesbianda** : i am sad

**spACEbar** : :((

**snowflake** : <3

**babybibibi** : we’re really good ith words today

**babybibibi** : i cant even type

**irisbest** : hey linda

**irisbest** : how about for once in my life i actually spend the night over at your place

**lesbianda** : !!!!

**lesbianda** : YES SLEEPOVER

**spACEbar** : have you ever even had one i cant remember

**lesbianda** : no we actually didn’t she just always tells joe she’s here

**irisbest** : IT’S TIME

**transco** :  why do boys never have sleepovers

**snowflake** : they do they just dont call it that

**pipes** : yeah it’s usually ‘crashing at someone’s place’

**captaincold** : pipes i thought you had no friends how can you tell

**pipes** : i came out to have a good time and im feeling so attacked today

**spACEbar** : aw

**spACEbar** : i’d have a sleepover with all of you

**transco** : same

**snowflake** : same

**irisbest** : [eddie voice] YES

**captaincold** : you’d know how that sounds

**lesbianda** : wow

**pipes** : wow

**spACEbar** : LEN NO

**detectiveprettybi** : Hello together!

**babybibibi** : that was a capital letter and a single exclamation mark

**babybibibi** : what happened

**detectiveprettybi** : Eddie is currently being chased through the house so he threw his phone at me and told me to upload the following picture. I am supposed to announce that he finds it incredibly funny.

**detectiveprettybi** : [image attached]

**transco** : [vine voice] wHO aRE YOU

**irisbest** : that’s a pretty picture!!!!

**pipes** : it’s half the quiver plus ppl i don’t know

**captaincold** : it’s a family pic

**lesbianda** : no wonder eddie finds it funny

**transco** : IT’S HALF THE QUIVER 

**spACEbar** : ollie, tommy, sara, laurel, felicity and three whole people i do not know

**spACEbar** : i’m just gonna guess those are thea, roy and sin

**snowflake** : yeah that’s thea queen alright

**lesbianda** : eye emoji

**babybibibi** : cait knows her gossip

**detectiveprettybi** : I’m Roy Harper, Thea’s boyfriend. Sorry for not saying so earlier.

**pipes** : dude your style of writing freaks me out

**irisbest** : is there a fun story behind this pic

**detectiveprettybi** : Thea has insisted on taking a family photo, so that meant both Oliver and Tommy. She wanted me on it as well, though, so Oliver insisted on Felicity being in it as well.

**detectiveprettybi** : Then Thea decided Sin needed to be in it as well and since Sin and Sara are practically sisters, Sin wanted Sara in the picture as well.

**detectiveprettybi** : So then Laurel had to be in it, too.

**heatwave** : this family tree is a circle

**pipes** : mick you truly captured eddie’s spirit in this

**spACEbar** : is it bad that im laughing

**spACEbar** : here i thought we were bad

**irisbest** : you just wait until dad insists snart is on the pic

**irisbest** : then mick and lisa are a given

**heatwave** : oh hell no

**snowflake** : squeals

**spACEbar** : …. I was just thinking of cecille and joanie

**pipes** : bar and mick in the middle of black ppl

**lesbianda** : back at the reverse racism

**captaincold** : lisa isnt black you moron

**transco** : ah right you don’t have the same mom

**detectiveprettybi** : … What IS this chat?

**heatwave** : a mess

**lesbianda** : queer folk from college basically

**transco** : best if anyone in the quiver gives you a crash course

**transco** : this chat can’t handle another row of intros

**detectiveprettybi** : What the hell is a quiver?

**detectiveprettybi** : I mean… I know what a quiver is but how are people gonna fit in there?

**babybibibi** : are you ever just unaware of how weird we are until someone from the outside is dragged into it

**pipes** : the house is called the quiver, long story

**pipes** : btw i hope eddie stayed outta my room

**detectiveprettybi** : Oh, are you the homeless guy?

**transco** : oh no

**snowflake** : here we go

**pipes** : i am the gay deaf homeless guy yes

**detectiveprettybi** : That’s… a lot of details.

**babybibibi** : he does that every time don’t mind him

**transco** : i’m surprised he didn’t get a shirt yet

**pipes** : do i get one for my birthday

**transco** : no

**captaincold** : no

**babybibibi** : no

**irisbest** : no

**detectiveprettybi** : This is weirdly entertaining.

**spACEbar** : does eddie still live

**detectiveprettybi** : I think so? Oliver has come back a few minutes ago but Tommy’s still shouting about suffocating him.

**pipes** : home sweet home

**lesbianda** : that pic alone saved my day

**lesbianda** : i’m still sad tho

**snowflake** : :((

**spACEbar** : :((

**detectiveprettybi** : What’s wrong?

**irisbest** : holy shit he’s a nice guy

**transco** : woah

**lesbianda** : my gf flew back to national city today

**detectiveprettybi** : That sucks :(

**spACEbar** : :(

**babybibibi** : oh that reminds me!!!!!

**babybibibi** : so roy what is the situation with you and thea and sin

**snowflake** : my fiance, once again acting like xe invented polyamory

**detectiveprettybi** : There’s engaged people in this chat? I’d have thought Oliver and Felicity would be the first among their friends.

**snowflake** : how dare you

**irisbest** : bfjdjsls im LAUGHING

**detectiveprettybi** : There’s no situation with the three of us. I mean, I love Sin a lot and so does Thea but they’re not interested in anyone romantically.

**transco** : aro nb!!!!!

**transco** : mick we found your counterpart

**captaincold** : did u look at the pic they’re like a third the size of mick

**pipes** : smol

**snowflake** : do you think they’re smaller than cisco

**transco** : I HOPE

**detectiveprettybi** : ISNT THAT PIC SO FUNNY

**spACEbar** : ah no we were just talking to roy

**detectiveprettybi** : …………………… so rude……………

**detectiveprettybi** : …… betrayed by my loved one

**captaincold** : no

**snowflake** : he’s nice!

**lesbianda** : yeah!!!!

**irisbest** : thea did well

**spACEbar** : im glad you survived tommy’s anger

**detectiveprettybi** : ah he found it funny too he’s just drama™ 

**pipes** : can’t wait to get back to the quiver

**babybibibi** : what if we all went

**detectiveprettybi** : pls don’t 

**detectiveprettybi** : oliver and tommy are already overwhelmed enough

**heatwave** : by 3 ppl? Theres more usually

**detectiveprettybi** : yeh but it’s their sister!!!!!

**captaincold** : are they trying to seem responsible

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah

**captaincold** : and you gave this gc to the bf of their sister?

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah

**captaincold** : evil

**detectiveprettybi** : thanks

**spACEbar** : did they just have a civil convo

**transco** : im as shocked as you are

**irisbest** : THERE CAN BE MIRACLEEEEES WHEN YOU BELIIIIEVE

**lesbianda** : impossible


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie has a job interview!

**detectiveprettybi** : blüdhaven sure has a lot of casinos huh

**detectiveprettybi** : anybody know how to count cards or however that shit works

**babybibibi** : i bet hart would know

**oliverqueer** : felicity does

**spACEbar** : eye emoji

**oliverqueer** : she grew up in las vegas

**heatwave** : and then she goes to college in central city

**heatwave** : shit makes no sense

**irisbest** : how is mick so iconic

**irisbest** : i hope i get something from blüdhaven

**lesbianda** : and that you get a neg reply eddie

**detectiveprettybi** : gee thanks

**babybibibi** : we just want you to stay around

**transco** : shrug emoji

**detectiveprettybi** : i still have a few hours to kill and

**detectiveprettybi** : i swear heres nothing to do BUT casinos

**lesbianda** : couldve researched first

**detectiveprettybi** : :(

**detectiveprettybi** : oliver can’t you just fly someone over here

**oliverqueer** : PFFF

**oliverqueer** : you do know that *I* don’t have the power over the jet

**detectiveprettybi** : i was thinking of the heli

**transco** : im that mr krabs meme rn

**transco** : rich ppl fuck me up

**heatwave** : mood

**captaincold** : same

**spACEbar** : go get a coffee eddie

**transco** : i thought youre good at making friends

**detectiveprettybi** : i dont wANT any friends here

**oliverqueer** : here i thought youd accept fate

**detectiveprettybi** : i will fight fate in a parking lot

**detectiveprettybi** : i dont like this city

**irisbest** : poor baby

**detectiveprettybi** : it’s big and loud and lonely

**transco** : :((

**spACEbar** : oh hey is hartley at cisco’s or the quiver??

**transco** : hes at work

**lesbianda** : i thought he didnt work on fridays

**oliverqueer** : changed it up for the holidays

**captaincold** : clever guy that pipes

**transco** : is there a musical incident i might be able to help with thats

**spACEbar** : nah jax & wally wanna create some weird fuel and need help

**babybibibi** : bc nobody but hart can help with that

**irisbest** : do yall wanna be annoyed by some kids

**spACEbar** : thought you were busy sry

**spACEbar** : and cisco’s more for like toys

**transco** : hm fair

**spACEbar** : pretty sure jesse couldve figured it out with a single glance but she’d rather see them suffer

**captaincold** : can i meet her

**irisbest** : nO

**captaincold** : okay, rude?

**lesbianda** : snart and jesse together would be an unstoppable force and idk if we could stomach that

**spACEbar** : when did you meet jesse

**lesbianda** : bar i think that lately i have spent more time at your house than you did

**irisbest** : ikr!!! im so proud of them going out

**spACEbar** : quoting my bf: okay, rude?

**transco** : we cant be all neurotypical karen

**irisbest** : ehfkenekedjdjf

**oliverqueer** : same

**detectiveprettybi** : if i deepthroat this banana while maintaining eye contact with the cop across the street they surely wont accept me right

**lesbianda** : dOnT kArEn Me

**irisbest** : eddie bb i fear that might ruin your chances at any precinct

**transco** : dOnT aCt LiKe A kArEn

**captaincold** : ill pay you fifty bucks pretty bi

**spACEbar** : he doesnt have 50 bucks

**captaincold** : bar. My love. Please

**snowflake** : “my love”

**transco** : pls dont start crying cait

**snowflake** : im trying

**detectiveprettybi** : im booooored

**detectiveprettybi** : and annoyed! I thought this city was nicer

**oliverqueer** : go find someone to hang out with 

**detectiveprettybi** : ollie literally the only time i randomly chat up a stranger is for sex

**detectiveprettybi** : WHICH I DONT HAVE TIME FOR TODAY

**lesbianda** : rip

**spACEbar** : at least you have us to keep you company

**detectiveprettybi** : <3

**babybibibi** : when is the interview?

**detectiveprettbi** : 3pm

**transco** : wait which time zone is blüdhaven in

**lesbianda** : the same as gotham duh

**detectiveprettybi** : …. It is 1:39 rn

**irisbest** : youre an hour ahead of us

**spACEbar** : eddie’s in THE FUTURE 

**captaincold** : bar no

**transco** : pls dont

**oliverqueer** : why exactly isnt bar allowed to talk about time travel

**irisbest** : WE’LL JUST CHANGE THE TOPIC BEFORE THEY START 

**lesbianda** : u know what i just remembered

**lesbianda** : eddie didnt you apply in national as well

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah

**detectiveprettybi** : OH BOY

**babybibibi** : aw imagine if patty and eddie became partners

**spACEbar** : do you think patty’d want to meet up with me when im in national

**detectiveprettybi** : honestly id die if i worked with patty i love her

**lesbianda** : :3c

**transco** : bar ofc she would

**lesbianda** : bar YES

**detectiveprettybi** : but who knows maybe the ppl here are nice too

**captaincold** : stressed cops equal bad cops

**oliverqueer** : youd know

**captaincold** : yea h

**snowflake** : eddie im sure it’ll go great

**spACEbar** : damn

**irisbest** : thats the opposite of what we want cait

**snowflake** : oh

**snowflake** : eddie im sure it’ll suck

**transco** : djdkdjd i love u cait

**snowflake** : !! :D

**snowflake** : ilu too

**heatwave** : oh fuck off

**detectiveprettybi** : ???

**pipes** : i live

**irisbest** : !!!!

**irisbest** : scroll up theres a task for you

**pipes** : hang on

**detectiveprettybi** : im still confused

**oliverqueer** : insert obligatory payback to all the times you joked abt me being confused

**detectiveprettybi** : witty

**pipes** : yeah tell them to meet me at jitters in 30

**irisbest** : bar ur still at home right?

**irisbest** : u go tell them god knows they dont check their phones

**transco** : i though u wanted to come here after work :(((

**pipes** : kids need my help cisquito

**transco** : ok :(

**lesbianda** : oliver you asshole

**oliverqueer** : what did I DO

**lesbianda** : snart’s father is a corrupt cop you iDIOT

**oliverqueer** : oh shit what

**oliverqueer** : fuck i had no idea

**transco** : oh shit

**captaincold** : if you think it takes a mere hint at my fathers existence to upset me you sure don’t know me well

**pipes** : fair

**captaincold** : so y’all better shut up and ignore shit

**oliverqueer** : still

**oliverqueer** : sorry

**captaincold** : Queen shut up

**oliverqueer** : k

**heatwave** : lmao what’d ur reaction be if bar hadn’t called u right away

**captaincold** : the same?

**heatwave** : hmh 

**lesbianda** : hey Iris Tell your dad to pay special attention of coldwave’s apartment

**irisbest** : Got that

**detectiveprettybi** : don’t murder mick while I’m not there!!!!

**spACEbar** : that only makes him wanna do it more

**detectiveprettybi** : i caNT stand this unjustified hate

**babybibibi** : would Eddie and Snart’s shipname be thart 

**transco** : THART

**spACEbar** : th’ art

**transco** : no bar….. it sounds like fart

**spACEbar** : oh oh my god

**bilance** : i cant believe this is the first thing I say today but

**bilance** : ronnie i am truly proud of how well your pun skill developed

**babybibibi** : :-D


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friendships are explained (or maybe not)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that i kept you hanging last week but there's been serious shit happening in my life, anyway here we go

**oliverqueer** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : i feel like I’m in a horror movie

**lesbianda** : you’d be the white guy who suggest they split up

**captaincold** : Queens the first to die

**oliverqueer** : …. i hate you

**bilance** : jeez that looks like it needs a LOT of renovations 

**oliverqueer** : ikr???? And it’s so far out of CC this can’t be worth it but

**oliverqueer** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : hes beAUTIFUL

**detectiveprettybi** : oliver if you single-handedly ruin this man’s happiness i will haunt you forever

**lesbianda** : i thought you arent allowed to be in love with tommy anymore

**detectiveprettybi** : linda even as a lesbian this pic alone must tell you it’s impossible

**lesbianda** : true,

**oliverqueer** : y’all are not helping my troubles

**bilance** : youre rich doesnt tommy’s happiness value more than the financial profit

**oliverqueer** : …………

**oliverqueer** : HE’LL BE SAD IF NOBODY SHOWS UP

**captaincold** : don’t act like you’re all selfless now

**oliverqueer** : fu

**snowflake** : oh you’re looking at clubs???

**oliverqueer** : yeah thea and tommy conspired

**detectiveprettybi** : im glad im an only child

**bilance** : can i just point out how well behaved eddie was around thea

**bilance** : i am proud of him

**detectiveprettybi** : :^)

**captaincold** : pretty bi has a praise kink

**detectiveprettybi** : lets be real the time in blüdhaven helped keep me away from her

**detectiveprettybi** : i dO NOT

**lesbianda** : eddie you never told us whether you got some over in b town

**detectiveprettybi** : course i did i had to spend a whole night there

**pipes** : iconic

**captaincold** : love pipes’ timing

**snowflake** : you didn’t say anything about the interview either

**detectiveprettybi** : i didnt give my full power but i wasnt the worst either

**detectiveprettybi** : figured i dont wanna have my rep ruined

**captaincold** : what rep

**spACEbar** : len

**captaincold** : hi babe

**pipes** : coughs whipped

**bilance** : dont even start with being whipped hartley

**detectiveprettybi** : i feel like yall are whipped

**oliverqueer** : its caLLED LOVE

**detectiveprettybi** : YOUR SISTER AND PSEUDO BROTHER GOT YOU WRAPPED AROUND THEIR LITTLE FINGERS

**oliverqueer** : IT’S CALLED SIBLING BONDS

**bilance** : only children are weird

**irisbest** : mood

**pipes** : do you think if i had a sibling they’d be as much garbage as my parents

**snowflake** : noooo

**captaincold** : Lisa and I were raised by the same guy and she’s lovely

**oliverqueer** : hm

**captaincold** : watch your words 

**detectiveprettybi** : don’t insult Lisa or your death awaits you

**spACEbar** : the question is why WOULD you insult Lisa

**heatwave** : Snart you absolute fucker ya old man is an asshole 

**heatwave** : didn’t even raise the girl lmao we fuckin did

**pipes** : aw dads

**bilance** : imagine having snart and mick as your dads. The extravagance

**oliverqueer** : case in point: lisa

**bilance** : u rite

**detectiveprettybi** : oliver go play with tommy

**oliverqueer** : he disappeared somewhere into the attic

**captaincold** : oliver: this is like a horror movie

**captaincold** : also oliver: lmao gonna let my best friend explore the aTTIC

**lesbianda** : snart have you by any chance spent some time with cisco lately

**spACEbar** : yeah theyve been texting

**irisbest** : gasP

**pipes** : wtf what about

**captaincold** : your nosy ass

**pipes** : rude

**babybibibi** : i read that as noisy at first

**detectiveprettybi** : i bet he does have a noisy ass

**lesbianda** : wow

**irisbest** : woah

**spACEbar** : i’m

**oliverqueer** : God

**pipes** : ;)

**babybibibi** : bACK TO THE TOPIC

**babybibibi** : what the fuck would sco and snart talk about

**irisbest** : yeah last i heard snart wanted to kill him for even looking at lisa

**oliverqueer** : also snart doesn’t seem to be the person you just chat with

**detectiveprettybi** : snart seems to be the person who texts you but only bc he wants something

**captaincold** : snart would like to inform you that he can, in fact, read all your messages

**captaincold** : snart would also like to remind you that he has no objections to murder

**irisbest** : except for his family?

**spACEbar** : also our family

**captaincold** : …

**captaincold** : exceptions are mick, lisa and the west-allens, yes

**lesbianda** : you are soft

**bilance** : you will be missed linda

**lesbianda** : mick save me

**heatwave** : you dug ur own grave

**lesbianda** : >:/

**lesbianda** : rude

**irisbest** : my dad would kill you if you harmed linda

**detectiveprettybi** : im so entertained by the friendship between the detective and linda

**spACEbar** : all of us

**oliverqueer** : the key is to hype his kids

**lesbianda** : i wouldnt say it like that

**irisbest** : youre absolutely right linda is like my hype woman

**lesbianda** : weLL? You are mine too

**babybibibi** : aw

**pipes** : are you saying snart only got on the detective’s good side bc he loves bar

**lesbianda** : yeah

**irisbest** : absolutely

**heatwave** : ye

**captaincold** : yep

**spACEbar** : .... yeah

**pipes** : incredible

**snowflake** : im the hype woman of you all

**irisbest** : aw

**spACEbar** : caIT <3

**babybibibi** : isn’t she wholesome

**detectiveprettybi** : we been knew

**bilance** : im glad caitlin is our honorary straight member

**bilance** : oliver did well by accepting her

**oliverqueer** : woah was that praise

**captaincold** : that was probably the first time she praised him

**heatwave** : and they used to fuck

**detectiveprettybi** : FJGKGNGNGJG

**pipes** : oh my GOd

**lesbianda** : woah

**babybibibi** : legends


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie is nervous. it's a short one.

**detectiveprettybi** : kill me

**detectiveprettybi** : no seriously kill me

**detectiveprettybi** : drive a knife into my head

**detectiveprettybi** : bar can i have one of your anxiety pills

**snowflake** : i advise against that

**snowflake** : what’s wrong :(

**detectiveprettybi** : IT’S TODAY

**snowflake** : WHAT IS TODAY

**detectiveprettybi** : MY INTERVIEW AT CCPD

**detectiveprettybi** : i really dont want to fuck this up i want to stay in central and with all you guys 

**detectiveprettybi** : and i love this town so much id be honoured to help it

**pipes** : if you tell singh as much hell love u

**detectiveprettybi** : ha

**detectiveprettybi** : ill totally fuck up

**lesbianda** : youll do great

**lesbianda** : also dont trust singh’s face as a reaction to you i think the man is physically unable to smile

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s 

**detectiveprettybi** : not helping

**detectiveprettybi** : how am i supposed to know if i do well when he has no emotions!!!!!

**snowflake** : i doubt that he has NO emotions

**detectiveprettybi** : you knwo what i mean!!!

**irisbest** : hey eddie bud do me a favour?

**detectiveprettybi** : i cant shut up im stressed!

**irisbest** : no that’s alright

**irisbest** : just. Take a deep breath

**irisbest** : and look if either dig or laurel are home

**detectiveprettybi** : wHAT FOR

**irisbest** : just do it will you

**detecitveprettybi** : okay

**detectiveprettybi** : but only for u

**irisbest** : <3

**pipes** : jeez i wasnt so bad before my interview was i

**lesbianda** : youve pretty much been guaranteed the job

**heatwave** : u were fuckin annoying

**pipes** : I BEG TO DIFFER

**snowflake** : hartley im afraid it really wasn’t all too pleasant in your presence

**snowflake** : we still love you though

**irisbest** : is this ronnie’s attempt at sounding like cait

**irisbest** : bc you just sound like an AI

**pipes** : an AI with a pretentious name like gideon or something

**snowflake** : damn

**snowflake** : this is ridiculous

**heatwave** : hey bicon ask ya fiance when shes up for some boxing again

**bilance** : i am both amazed by mick picking up ‘bicon’ and also using the word fiance

**heatwave** : she is xyr fiance

**snowflake** : YES SHE IS

**snowflake** : CAN YOU BELIEVE

**lesbianda** : it’s been 2 months and we still cant

**irisbest** : when you start calling her your wife we’ll all just cry everytime

**snowflake** : honestly same

**bilance** : why are you even on cait’s phone suddenly

**snowflake** : i have no idea where mine is and she went to the bathroom

**oliverqueer** : genius

**transco** : try under the bed

**transco** : u know how easily it slips between the wood and mattress

**snowflake** : hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**snowflake** : yeah later ive JUST sat down

**transco** : #timing

**spACEbar** : did eddie really listen to iris

**irisbest** : ofc he did

**spACEbar** : amazing

**captaincold** : whipped

**bilance** : snart you are the last one to call someone whipped

**heatwave** : hah blondie go off

**pipes** : how is mick so chatty today

**captaincold** : guess

**oliverqueer** : how’s ray

**heatwave** : wrecked

**snowflake** : u’d know about that oliver

**oliverqueer** : u know what? I’ve decided to own this

**oliverqueer** : yes i do

**transco** : i cant believe ollie does this when eddie isn’t here

**oliverqueer** : maybe that’s my evil plan

**spACEbar** : leave him alone!!! He’s having a big day today

**lesbianda** : you mean the day where he gETS EMPLOYED AT CCPD

**spACEbar** : EXACTLY

**detectiveprettybi** : i’ll come back to scream about this later

**detectiveprettybi** : now im heading off for coffee with laurel and then it’s Death TimeTM 

**spACEbar** : you’re gonna rock this eddie!!!

**lesbianda** : go eddie!

**transco** : GO MAKE US PROUD

**irisbest** : everybody say something nice

**bilance** : I have faith in you

**snowflake** : if eddie can’t get this i don’t think anybody can

**captaincold** : … i suppose you wouldn’t be that bad of a cop

**pipes** : eddie once youre an actual cop your chances with bruce wayne are probably improved

**transco** : snart took less convincing than i expected

**irisbest** : it’s my magic

**heatwave** : what snart said i guess

**detectiveprettybi** : <3333

**detectiveprettybi** : love you guys

**captaincold** : calm down you aint dying

**detectiveprettybi** : fuck off snart

**captaincold** : so i wont have to deal with you? gladly!

**transco** : can you feel the love tonight

**bilance** : thank you for this

**oliverqueer** : goddammit cisco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I have an interview for a job that i do NOT want tomorrow and yet im nervous so eddie is a mood


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie's interview is going... according to plan

**lesbianda** : oh my god you can’t make this shit up

**lesbianda** : im laughing so hard

**captaincold** : yeah stop doing that youre blowing our cover

**pipes** : ……….. What is happening

**captaincold** : a lot

**lesbianda** : basically we’re all nosy bitches

**lesbianda** : except for wally

**captaincold** : yeah wally just wants money

**transco** : classic

**transco** : but i am confused i have to admit

**lesbianda** : basically i wanted to listen in on eddie’s interview

**lesbianda** : so i thought why not visit my favourite detective while he’s on desk duty

**oliverqueer** : don’t tell me you guys are chilling at ccpd

**captaincold** : then we won’t

**pipes** : no go on

**lesbianda** : well i guess iris wanted to support eddie but the official story is she wanted to discuss bar’s birthday dinner

**lesbianda** : but then they showed up too

**captaincold** : bar made me pretend i’m stupid

**snowflake** : what even

**lesbianda** : their cover story is that snart wants to go to national city with them

**bilance** : oh my god

**captaincold** : west looked at me like i was crazy for forgetting my rules

**lesbianda** : im pretty sure he thinks you keep exploiting your personal connection

**heatwave** : totally is

**pipes** : like you arent

**heatwave** : never said that

**captaincold** : anyway then wally also appeared with jesse and jax

**captaincold** : and now we’re all standing here trying to look unsuspicious until pretty bi shows up

**transco** : youre unsuccessful are you

**pipes** : i mean. They’re texting

**captaincold** : note how it’s only linda and me

**lesbianda** : yeah you don’t learn how to type sneakily when you grew up in a west household

**lesbianda** : wally wasnt even raised by joe and yet 

**snowflake** : oh right i noticed bar can’t type with one hand

**transco** : iris always has her phone so close to her face

**transco** : ive been wondering if she needs glasses

**captaincold** : nah she just gotta step up her sneaky game

**lesbianda** : well we only have five more minutes to kill

**lesbianda** : snart ask jax about cars or something

**captaincold** : i know jackshit about cars

**heatwave** : ask him why honda is a bitch and makes it impossible to get cheap pistons

**captaincold** : Are you still going on about that

**heatwave** : you’ll complain when the bike don’t work anymore

**captaincold** : Fine

**pipes** : so domestic 

**bilance** : so eddie doesnt even know youre there?

**lesbianda** : nope

**snowflake** : did it occur to you that he might like show a reaction to seeing yall

**transco** : dont make him fail this u guys

**lesbianda** : anybody would be surprised by seeing 7 random people just chilling with a cop tbh

**lesbianda** : nothing telling

**pipes** : him not slipping up that he knows you doesn’t mean it doesnt have a reaction on him

**lesbianda** : we hope its positive

**heatwave** : with snart there? Tough luck

**oliverqueer** : wow mick really only has love for him

**transco** : he’s right tho snart hates eddie

**snowflake** : snart complimented eddie today!

**pipes** : bc iris made him lol

**bilance** : i think they have mutual respect for each other

**lesbianda** : no mutual respect is the way snart is seemingly about to explode bc he disagrees with joe but doesnt dare to say it

**heatwave** : that’s fear

**transco** : wow

**lesbianda** : ohhhhhhhhhhhhh eddie cleans up so nice

**bilance** : ikr

**oliverqueer** : how did he react to seeing you all

**lesbianda** : froze for a second but then said hello and went on

**captaincold** : lmao west is currently ranting against young rookies

**snowflake** : oh dear

**captaincold** : ‘that’s the guy singh’s interviewing today? Who the hell’s gonna take him seriously’

**transco** : oh no!!!

**lesbianda** : we can’t look into singh’s office :/

**heatwave** : shoulda burnt those blinds

**pipes** : mick is so invested in this

**heatwave** : gotta know who to avoid

**bilance** : hmm sure

**oliverqueer** : can you like see shadows or something

**lesbianda** : no

**captaincold** : can you read emotions on shadows during a conversation. Is that a skill of yours queen 

**captaincold** : they sure as hell ain’t gonna start a fist fight

**oliverqueer** : oh You’re Right 

**lesbianda** : ?????????

**bilance** : five minutes and that’s what you’re giving us?

**transco** : what’s hjappening!

**captaincold** : singh just called for detective

**pipes** : ?????????

**snowflake** : ??????????

**oliverqueer** : ?????????

**lesbianda** : mood!

**irisbest** : I AM CONFUSION

**transco** : AMERICA EXPLAIN!!!!!

**pipes** : u just cant resist can u

**transco** : u know me

**snowflake** : meme lord

**transco** : thanks cait

**babybibibi** : LITERALLY HOW IT WAS JUST TWO WORDS

**transco** : vibes

**bilance** : back to the topic

**bilance** : what???

**irisbest** : NO IDEA

**captaincold** : detective’s back

**captaincold** : o

**pipes** : did snart just

**lesbianda** : hoLY JF

**oliverqueer** : WHAT

**captaincold** : this is the best day of my life

**lesbianda** : im

**bilance** : WHAT

**lesbianda** : good news

**lesbianda** : eddie got hired

**transco** : YES

**pipes** : congrats!!!

**bilance** : this is amazing!

**snowflake** : YES EDDIE

**heatwave** : snart aint happy bout that

**captaincold** : nah i aint

**lesbianda** : bad news?

**lesbianda** : joe just got a new partner

**pipes** : NO

**oliverqueer** : HANG ON

**babybibibi** : WAIT

**transco** : WHAT#

**captaincold** : EXCALTY

**pipes** : IT MADE SNART LOSE HIS COOL

**lesbianda** : he’s not even doing his pokerface

**lesbianda** : bar and iris are just shook and joe is fuming

**bilance** : holy SHIT

**captaincold** : indeed

**snowflake** : i canNOT beliEVE

**transco** : im. Speechless

**snowflake** : SAME WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

**bilance** : eddie and iris definitely cant hook up any more

**babybibibi** : cait’s destroyed

**captaincold** : the detective is really mad about having a newbie as his partner i can’t 

**lesbianda** : wally can tell something’s up obvsly so he#s just the physical embodiment of the eye emoji

**pipes** : off topic but when will we add him to this chat fhfkfk

**snowflake** : he’s not in college hartley

**heatwave** : signal him to keep this outta the west family chat

**captaincold** : good thinking

**bilance** : the wests have a family chat? Is snart in it

**heatwave** : he wishes

**oliverqueer** : makes sense

**lesbianda** : aaaaaaaaaaaaand joe threw us out

**snowflake** : he did what now

**captaincold** : he’s annoyed and ‘wants to have a little chat with singh’

**transco** : does he wait until eddie’s gone tho

**bilance** : we can only hope

**lesbianda** : ‘dont tell me you liveblogged this whole thing” - bar, just now

**lesbianda** : ‘good that you did that,” iris says, pulling out her own phone

**irisbest** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**irisbest** : what the FUCK

**oliverqueer** : i feel like this summarizes how today went

**detectiveprettybi** : are you guys gone bc i dont feel like being seen with you no offense

**captaincold** : that’s how i feel about you all the time

**detectiveprettybi** : fuck you

**detectiveprettybi** : WHAT THE HELL IS MY LIFE

**detectiveprettybi** : can i just point out how i am now officially working with the father of a girl i occasionally sleep with and also the love of my life, how he doesn’t know either of those and still already hates me

**lesbianda** : ah so you noticed that

**detectiveprettybi** : it wASNT HARD TO MISS

**transco** : no offense he’ll kill you if he finds out

**pipes** : aren’t partners always like friends

**pipes** : youll be a frequent visitor at the wests!

**detectiveprettybi** : im. Shit

**irisbest** : this is awful

**oliverqueer** : are we just glossing over how eddie called bar the love of his life

**captaincold** : we are ignoring lies, yes.

**transco** : where is bar even

**lesbianda** : explaining the situation to wally

**snowflake** : oh dear

**heatwave** : how well does the detective read sexual tension

**irisbest** : i. Don’t even want to know

**captaincold** : i feel like you’ll find out

**lesbianda** : iris just almost shoved snart in front of a moving car

**detectiveprettybi** : GOOD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lads!!! i'm @ comic con in dortmund on sunday so if any of you want to meet up or something shoot me a message on tumblr or twitter!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's revelations about ppl

**pipes** : how exactly did we not discuss that further

**babybibibi** : we were busy having sex

**transco** : hart didn’t say that but yes us too

**oliverqueer** : same

**bilance** : did eddie ever come home

**oliverqueer** : go check you know that im out

**bilance** : imma text laurel 

**bilance** : i dont wanna see eddie in a bad shape

**transco** : weird to assume eddie has a bad shape

**pipes** : we legit saw him drunk and hungover so often and he was still a snack

**babybibibi** : im just sitting here nodding along

**oliverqueer** : my fav thing is how cisco and hartley text even though they are probably next to each other

**pipes** : nah cisco’s in the bathroom

**bilance** : oh god you must miss each other terribly

**bilance** : that distance between you two……..

**bilance** : horrible

**bilance** : can’t imagine what that would be like

**transco** : hey sara when do you leave for tibet again

**bilance** : in 19 days

**bilance** : which is 19 days too long

**babybibibi** : didn’t you say you’d be gone for a like month???

**babybibibi** : the next semester starts in early april

**oliverqueer** : god don’t remind me

**pipes** : isn’t it your last one oliver

**oliverqueer** : gOd DoN’t ReMiNd Me

**bilance** : one of my profs is a big fan of me hanging out in asia again so she writes it down as a student field trip

**transco** : god i wish that were me

**babybibibi** : just visit your family and go ‘hey there’s physics down here too’

**transco** : FJFFK great iDEA

**bilance** : everything’s coming up sara lance

**pipes** : you have a great life

**detectiveprettybi** : you know i’d hoped yesterday was a dream

**babybibibi** : im still not sure what exactly’s so bad

**babybibibi** : you’re staying here! You work with a nice man!

**detectiveprettybi** : how am i supposed to look him in the eyes and not be reminded that i fucked his daughter multiple times and he doesnt even know that i know her

**detectiveprettybi** : this man has tracked his kids and threatened snart’s life more than once

**babybibibi** : i see your problem

**transco** : when are you supposed to start working

**detectiveprettybi** : 12th

**oliverqueer** : are you gonna miss bar’s birthday

**detectiveprettybi** : the real question is: can i even still hang out with bar

**pipes** : and here i thought i was a drama queen

**bilance** : no snart is

**transco** : right

**captaincold** : with that attitude you cant

**oliverqueer** : back at it again with the jealousy

**transco** : damn daniel

**captaincold** : believe it or not that’s not it

**captaincold** : if pretty bi keeps being so obvious then he might be offed soon

**pipes** : by you or west

**captaincold** : pending

**bilance** : that’s valid

**babybibibi** : snart’s right just play your cards chill

**oliverqueer** : shall i say something about my experience of dating someone who’s dad is a cop

**bilance** : shut the fuck up oliver

**oliverqueer** : okay

**bilance** : you dont need to scare the guy any more

**detectiveprettybi** : thank you so much

**captaincold** : anyway i have felt like we kept focussing on pretty bi being accepted by the ccpd for three weeks at this point

**captaincold** : someone change the topic im bored

**pipes** : what are we supposed to talk about

**captaincold** : idk. Rank the dicks youve seen in your life

**babybibibi** : how much time do you have for this convo

**pipes** : hey

**transco** : babe don’t act all innocent now

**bilance** : yeah hart

**bilance** : we all know youre a slut

**pipes** : slut rights!!!!

**babybibibi** : i can’t believe a guy used the word slut and linda did not show up

**detectiveprettybi** : where is she

**captaincold** : asleep

**transco** : lmao did she crush at yours again

**captaincold** : yes

**pipes** : OH HANG ON

**pipes** : snart ah freilichen purim to you

**babybibibi** : a what now

**heatwave** : oh it’s purim? Sweet

**heatwave** : Snart cooks

**captaincold** : why the fuck do you speak yiddish 

**pipes** : it’s not too far off from German

**transco** : you don’t speak german

**pipes** : im learning german

**transco** : LITERALY WHEN

**bilance** : Snart do you do the 7 tasks 

**heatwave** : yeah he does

**heatwave** : though curious how he’s gonna do his Robin Hood act this year if he can’t steal

**pipes** : at work babe it’s boring there

**babybibibi** : aw Snart is soft

**captaincold** : glares

**oliverqueer** : wouldn’t have pegged Snart as someone who celebrates Purim

**heatwave** : dude it’s a party

**transco** : not to be offensive but what IS Purim

**spACEbar** : an ancient king planned to kill every Jewish person but a Jewish family, especially the Woman of The House, stopped him

**transco** : prevention of the first holocaust, got it

**transco** : and what are those tasks

**spACEbar** : read the book of Esther, presents to your loved ones, presents to the poor, read the Torah, pray, food & wine, no sadness

**transco** : kickass holiday

**oliverqueer** : did you just randomly list those off

**spACEbar** : my dads Jewish 

**irisbest** : Purim is Henry’s fav so bars always done the tasks in his stead

**spACEbar** : only the presents and reading of Esther tho

**babybibibi** : your dads Jewish? But you aren’t right

**spACEbar** : no it’s passed on matrilineally and my mum was Christian 

**spACEbar** : I’m not really religious either way I like a few traditions but that’s it

**oliverqueer** : oh mood

**detectiveprettybi** : are we just ignoring my big dilemma now

**irisbest** : yes suck it up and be a good partner to my dad

**irisbest** : anyways i feel like nobody is REALLY religious any more nowadays

**transco** : i consider myself quite religious tbh

**transco** : but more like new wave instead of conservative

**bilance** : there’s a concept called third wave christianity but no idea about /new/ wave

**bilance** : also third wave christianity is protestant which i guess you’re not

**transco** : im latino sara

**bilance** : yeah ok

**babybibibi** : today’s topic being religion somehow weirds me out

**lesbianda** : organized religion weirds me out

**lesbianda** : that manipulation into joining a movement

**transco** : idk i enjoy the feeling of community during mass?

**transco** : but i guess it IS weird if you haven’t been dragged into it from birth

**heatwave** : brainwash

**transco** : i might have been brainwashed but at least im not buying into it 100%

**irisbest** : ppl who think they understand the bible and don’t recognize it as an ancient work that’s not relatable nowadays are Bad

**bilance** : preach it girl

**transco** : gotta adapt

**lesbianda** : imma write a blog post about organized religion

**detectiveprettybi** : i feel like linda’s blog is only us at this point

**lesbianda** : nah just prompted by you guys

**pipes** : at least you’re not spending fifteen months with writing a chat group fanfiction about us

**babybibibi** : that’s oddly specific

**babybibibi** : hart what are you doing 

**pipes** : do I look like I have time for that

**transco** : well if you have time to secretly learn yet another language

**oliverqueer** : hartleys too intelligent for his own good

**oliverqueer** : how are you both a science and a language person!!!!!

**pipes** : I suck at sports and art if that helps

**detectiveprettybi** : disappointment radiating from coldwaves direction

**heatwave** : nah its fine

**heatwave** : would freak me the fuck out if he was good at everything

**babybibibi** : it already freaks me out so much

**babybibibi** : and im his best friend

**pipes** : rude

**pipes** : cait is my best friend now

**lesbianda** : cait is everyone’s best friend that aint special

**babybibibi** : u saying my fiance isn’t special

**lesbianda** : NO I WOULD NEVER LIE LIKE THAT

**irisbest** : i interrupt to announce that snart and bar went out to do the good deeds together today

**transco** : awwwwwwwwww

**bilance** : awwwwwwwwwwww

**babybibibi** : awwwwwwww

**oliverqueer** : awwwww

**lesbianda** : cue cait

**snowflake** : AWWWWWWW

**lesbianda** : im a goddess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter may talk about purim a lot, but i hope everyone who celebrates hanukkah has a happy one! <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> snart saves the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god!!!! i loved the first ep of the crossover so much!!! i can't believe oliver actually got to laugh! he seserves it! and it was so funny! and smaLLVILLE!!!! and Some Parts kinda fit to this chapter ;))))) also good they're giving us kate kane now bc it reminds me to tell y'all her Average(TM) cousin is gonna come back to this fic soon-ish :^)

**pipes** : if i ever meet this HR I’ll kick him in the stomach

**captaincold** : isnt you starting a fight and getting your ass handed what brought you and cisco together

**captaincold** : it’s just a reminder that you fucking suck

**pipes** : wow

**oliverqueer** : what did HR do

**pipes** : make it able to block people on here

**bilance** : ??? blocking is a godforsaken right

**pipes** : yeah but it sucks when your boyfriend does it to you

**bilance** : he did what now

**snowflake** : WHAT

**pipes** : yeah we had a fight and now this fucker goes and BLOCKS ME EVERYWHERE?????

**captaincold** : probably deserved it

**pipes** : i did not???

**pipes** : so if any of you could pass on a message

**bilance** : nope im staying out of this

**oliverqueer** : deal with your shit yourself man

**pipes** : youre rude

**captaincold** : go wait in front of his door like last time

**captaincold** : get your ass kicked again

**captaincold** : probably the correct punishment

**pipes** : oh that’s a fantastic idea

**transco** : NO HE SHOULD NOT DO THAT ACTUALLY

**bilance** : ok how does the blocking here work can you read what he wrote

**transco** : no but i can figure out snart’s talking to him

**oliverqueer** : hm yeah makes sense

**pipes** : TELL CISCO TO LISTEN TO ME

**captaincold** : you two truly fit to each other don’t you

**snowflake** : what even happened ;A;

**transco** : cait did you hang out with bar why are you using kawaii smileys

**pipes** : why does this look exactly like your face it’s not fair

**transco** : basically hart is an entitled jackass

**transco** : also i hate him

**oliverqueer** : no you don’t

**pipes** : ive just been trying to be nice!!!

**bilance** : how does it look like they’re replying to one another

**captaincold** : too used to fighting

**transco** : you know i thought hart spent more time in my flat than the quiver bc he found it too crowded there or whatever

**bilance** : makes sense

**transco** : but no

**oliverqueer** : i feel something

**pipes** : okay obvsly yall remember the fact that cisco’s neighbour is a transphobic asshole

**transco** : but no turns out he thought he had to PROTECT ME

**pipes** : so i didnt feel okay with letting him in his presence all alone okay

**bilance** : oh my god

**snowflake** : that’s so… noble

**transco** : no cait it’s NOT

**transco** : cmon it’s fucking belittling is what it is

**snowflake** : i was talking to hartley actually

**transco** : DO NOT

**pipes** : and he never even let me explain fully?

**pipes** : the stuff axel has in his flat is frightening tbh and i dont even wanna know what he could do with it

**pipes** : and it’s not like i could do anything about that shit either but i feel better anyways

**captaincold** : [image attached]

**captaincold** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : ??

**bilance** : oh clever

**captaincold** : figured they didn’t hear each other out

**bilance** : leonard snart: professional relationship counselor

**captaincold** : my dream job

**oliverqueer** : oh right they couldnt read each other

**bilance** : jeez ollie just how small is your brain

**bilance** : that was established at the start of this wtf

**oliverqueer** : yeah im stupid that was agreed on

**transco** : i feel like we should finish that discussion outside of the chat

**pipes** : agreed

**snowflake** : aw oliver don’t say that

**detectiveprettybi** : dmn did we break oliver’s confidence

**captaincold** : only took us half a year

**snowflake** : don’t be mean!

**detectiveprettybi** : oh i dont want cait to be mad at me

**lesbianda** : ollie trust a lesbian when she says youre fucking superb you funky little rich bitch

**oliverqueer** : im taller than you

**oliverqueer** : like. Way

**bilance** : accept the meme and say thanks

**oliverqueer** : thanks?

**detectiveprettybi** : how was this so nice

**detectiveprettybi** : and how did snart end up saving a relationship

**snowflake** : they wouldnt have broken up 

**captaincold** : tell pretty bi have you ever even been in a relationship

**detectiveprettybi** : yes??

**captaincold** : i meant one that was not just holding hands in kindergarten

**detectiveprettybi** : u only saying that bc you dont remember kindergarten

**captaincold** : i know the mental transition didnt happen for you yet

**lesbianda** : why are men like this

**bilance** : dick measuring contest dont ask me

**snowflake** : sometimes i wonder if eddie’s really in love with bar

**snowflake** : or if he’s just enjoying annoying snart this much

**lesbianda** : didnt we all agree we’re all in love with bar

**lesbianda** : snart just a lil more

**oliverqueer** : true

**irisbest** : excuse me who the fuck insulted the most beautiful man known to earth 

**irisbest** : Oliver jsyk if you were single I’d have already kidnapped you to the next church and set up a wedding

**captaincold** : several ppl wanna do that he’s rich

**irisbest** : hes also nice and kind and beautiful and intelligent 

**bilance** : im gonna go check if he’s crying 

**lesbianda** : Iris has a crush on Ollie pass it on

**oliverqueer** : jokes on you I’m not home

**oliverqueer** : Iris <333333 idk what to say thank u

**bilance** : ARE you crying 

**oliverqueer** : a Little

**irisbest** : I’ll fight off all your haters

**irisbest** : but first I gotta kick the fam outta bed I made breakfast 

**detectiveprettybi** : it’s 2pm

**irisbest** : Game Night got long

**lesbianda** : you had a game night without me

**captaincold** : i didn’t know it was game night

**bilance** : cute 

**captaincold** : but also I’m glad bc I don’t wanna eat your breakfast

**irisbest** : fucking rude

**captaincold** : shrug emoji

**bilance** : Love between in-laws 

**captaincold** : not as literal as you and queen

**lesbianda** : SHOTS FIRED

**oliverqueer** : damn Snart what’s up with you today

**captaincold** : good mood

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s a good mood?????

**captaincold** : yeah you’re not used to that bc it always vanishes when I see you

**snowflake** : how can we get you guys to stop this

**detectiveprettybi** : look you upset Caitlin 

**captaincold** : sorry Snow 

**captaincold** : not taking anything back though

**bilance** : wouldn’t have expected anything else


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mick is like "friendship ended with haircut now pretty and amaya are my fuck buddies"

**bilance** : [image attached]

**bilance** : what if I told you these women are not related 

**babybibibi** : what????

**irisbest** : they literally look the same 

**spACEbar** : what are you talking about these are clearly twins 

**captaincold** : why are there two amayas 

**lesbianda** : THAT is Amaya??????

**lesbianda** : she’s breathtaking 

**bilance** : Nope the one on the right is Charlie

**bilance** : she’s a punk from England and she’s one of Amaya’s 7 doppelgängers

**spACEbar** : i thought that doppelgänger theory meant you only look kinda like them not that you’re a clone

**bilance** : funniest thing: Ray found her on tinder

**pipes** : that’s insane 

**transco** : clones are real

**captaincold** : no were not doing the “would you fuck your clone” meme

**transco** : rude

**detectiveprettybi** : i would fuck my clone

**pipes** : Oliver is right there

**bilance** : dkfkfllflfjfkgk

**spACEbar** : fucking your clone is like fucking yourself 

**babybibibi** : yeah lots of ppl masturbate

**spACEbar** : that’s NOT WHAT I MEANT

**captaincold** : i literally JUST said we’re not doing this 

**detectiveprettybi** : shrug emoji 

**oliverqueer** : who’s apartment is that it’s not rays

**bilance** : Nate’s

**bilance** : turns out he’s rich too did you know

**oliverqueer** : … no?

**bilance** : micks reaction to that: “I’m gonna sleep with him”

**pipes** : mick is a legend

**captaincold** : gonna finish the trio I see

**oliverqueer** : Mick slept with Amaya???

**captaincold** : ofc he did

**babybibibi** : Are you saying mick has the chance to have a foursome

**captaincold** : yep 

**bilance** : not anymore 

**bilance** : Ray has gotten himself a gf and while Nate and Amaya are in an open rel Ray ain’t 

**pipes** : that’s the saddest thing I have ever read

**transco** : damn you ray

**detectiveprettybi** : i Love that micks type is: Rich™️

**captaincold** : hes only slept with like three billionaires

**irisbest** : do you guys chat about whom you’ve banged 

**captaincold** : haven’t banged anyone in ages 

**lesbianda** : it slips into convos

**lesbianda** : Mick, in line at big belly’s: ever told you I slept with ted kord 

**oliverqueer** : ted kord isn’t a billionaire 

**pipes** : nah he’s just a millionaire

**pipes** : otherwise he wouldn’t have been to my parents’ galas

**transco** : “just a millionaire” he says

**transco** : I once read that if a million is a few days then a billion is more than A DECADE

**irisbest** : Rich ppl be weird af

**spACEbar** : wait billionaires don’t hang out with millionaires???????

**pipes** : nah they can’t possibly stoop that low

**babybibibi** : damn

**bilance** : “Mick ted Kord isnt a billionaire” - “damn. What about maxwell lord”

**transco** : MAXWELL LORD ISNT STRIAGHT?????

**bilance** : apparently not

**oliverqueer** : yeah he’s a billionaire 

**bilance** : [image attached] 

**bilance** : content Mick

**bilance** : you sure the Heywoods aren’t billionaires 

**pipes** : nate is a Heywood?????

**pipes** : WAIT.

**pipes** : IS NATE SHORT FOR NATHANIEL

**captaincold** : no Nate is short for Sebastian 

**pipes** : fuck off Snart

**oliverqueer** : don’t Tell me you know Nate

**oliverqueer** : why is my phone capitalizing shit suddenly 

**pipes** : apparently I do

**pipes** : he was that kid my parents always told me to go play with but he ignored me bc he’s like 10 years older

**oliverqueer** : Five but okay

**spACEbar** : how does everyone know everyone in this town 

**spACEbar** : this city is gigantic how does this happen

**detectiveprettybi** : Tell me about it

**babybibibi** : Eddie still can’t deal with being west’s partner

**irisbest** : we all can’t

**bilance** : so im telling Mick Nate’s a millionaire

**bilance** : he’ll be so heartbroken 

**captaincold** : *dickbroken 

**pipes** : wow

**lesbianda** : when exactly am I meeting Amaya??

**transco** : Linda you have a gf

**lesbianda** : no i just gotta meet micks other bff 

**captaincold** : wow what am i the cleaning lady

**oliverqueer** : i think we can all agree you’re pretty much married

**oliverqueer** : sorry Bar

**spACEbar** : it’s fine I made my peace with mick coming before me

**captaincold** : he does not?

**spACEbar** : yes he does

**captaincold** : no

**spACEbar** : trust me if there was a a situation where you could only save one of us it’d be him

**spACEbar** : and it’d be ok

**captaincold** : ?????? It wouldn’t????

**irisbest** : he doesn’t even realize 

**spACEbar** : okay Len whatever you say

**captaincold** : Bar. My love. 

**spACEbar** : DROP IT

**babybibibi** : you ruined Snart pfpfpfpfpfpfp

**bilance** : Mick and Charlie get along perfectly

**bilance** : they’ve found some expensive liquor 

**transco** : theyre gonna hook up

**bilance** : well I hope

**bilance** : not a lass you let pass by

**oliverqueer** : stop trying to use British slang

**oliverqueer** : i doubt Constantine is the standard 

**bilance** : Constantine certainly was the standard for drunk rude sexy bisexual punk brits 

**transco** : this Constantine sounds. Wild

**oliverqueer** : yeah he works as a wizard at kids parties now

**babybibibi** : from punk to kid entertainer. Hard drop

**oliverqueer** : it’s fine he can’t deal with kids but he likes them 

**transco** : oh mood

**oliverqueer** : oh who’s rays gf btw

**bilance** : i waited for this

**bilance** : You’re gonna love this

**bilance** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : i… have no idea who that is

**bilance** : oh yeah puberty hit her hard

**bilance** : that’s Nora Darhk

**oliverqueer** : NO

**bilance** : YES

**oliverqueer** : WHAT

**bilance** : I KNOW RIGHT

**oliverqueer** : FUCK OFF

**pipes** : … who is Nora Darhk 

**bilance** : the daughter of the woman who ran against Moira for mayor years ago

**bilance** : her dad tried to rig the election, it was wild

**bilance** : cant believe you didn’t hear about this

**transco** : we probably did but we weren’t even teens back then

**pipes** : ^

**spACEbar** : ^

**irisbest** : that’s so wild

**oliverqueer** : Ray can never come over ever again

**detectiveprettybi** : did this girl ever do anything to you

**oliverqueer** : no but if my mom knew I was in contact with a Darhk

**captaincold** : momma’s boy are you

**bilance** : oh he is

**bilance** : it’s funny

**bilance** : aaaaaaaand Mick and Charlie are making out

**bilance** : im leaving I don’t wanna watch them all get it on

**transco** : iiiiii get a lil bit genghis khan

**transco** : don’t want you to get it on

**spACEbar** : WITH NOBODY ELSE BUT ME

**transco** : with nobody else but me

**transco** : BAR! <3

**lesbianda** : nerds 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if i'll update in the next two weeks bc holidays but hey we'll see! also, i still owe you a nyssara christmas OS from last year, so i hope to get that wrapped up before the 25th
> 
> and now, since the legends got mentioned so profoundly and also bc it's christmas:   
> remember how sara namedropped zari close to the end of part one? what if i told you she got also mentioned by someone else in this part of the chat? **if you can guess when (not the exact chapter or anything, just the circumstances) you can request an interlude in return!** anything taking place in this verse, let it be characters who are prominent or just mentioned - it can go from "hey what is X even doing?" to "i want a specific thing about this pairing" etc. ofc, i'll answer your comments quicker this time.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know how to summarize this

**snowflake:** guys !!!!

 **snowflake** : course offers are online!

 **lesbianda** : already????

 **transco** : lol semester isnt even over for linda fjgjgk

 **lesbianda** : excuse me i’ll have you know i handed in my assignment ten days ago

 **transco** : GO LINDA

 **lesbianda** : [bows] thanks

 **heatwave** : still have more than a month why’s that shit online

 **transco** : mick coming through strong

 **detectiveprettybi** : mick’s more relatable than all of us together

 **babybibibi** : babe why are you already on the uni’s website again

 **babybibibi** : can you please just…….. Enjoy your break

 **snowflake** : i am

 **snowflake** : doesn’t mean i cant prepare for next semester

 **lesbianda** : cait do we need to tie you up

 **heatwave** : kinky

 **lesbianda** : mick no

 **pipes** : i mean. /yes/

 **babybibibi** : hart nO

 **heatwave** : small ones are kinky

 **transco** : you know i love how we’re all so open with each other and all

 **transco** : but i’d really like to get back to the course offers

 **detectiveprettybi** : spoilsport

 **babybibibi** : i thought bar was the master of distraction

 **pipes** : they really became worse at that since they started dating snart

 **lesbianda** : well now snart just makes ppl shut up

 **transco** : don’t make it sound like bar’s just like… insanely passive

 **transco** : bar’s their own person

 **babybibibi** : activated the protective bff

 **lesbianda** : i woudl never ever in my whole life insult bar allen, the light of everyone’s life

 **detectiveprettybi** : and why would you

 **lesbianda** : exactly!

 **lesbianda** : why would i!

 **oliverqueer** : felicity once said that bar is like pudding

 **pipes** : we dont all speak the language of felicity oliver

 **oliverqueer** : everyone loves pudding

 **snowflake** : i doubt that but it’s a nice sentiment

 **oliverqueer** : her first simile was world of warcraft and i just was like honey,,,

 **transco** : i love that you call each other honey. It’s so wholesome

 **oliverqueer** : :3c

 **pipes** : stop

detectiveprettybi: stop

 **babybibibi** : stop

 **transco** : stop

 **lesbianda** : stop

 **heatwave** : stop

 **irisbest** : stop

 **transco** : oh hi iris

 **irisbest** : hi!

 **irisbest** : so what classes are y’all taking

 **transco** : other than what i need? ASL

 **pipes** : BABE

 **transco** : <3

 **snowflake** : i feel like we should all take ASL

 **oliverqueer** : it would make sense

 **lesbianda** : do you think we can shut the fuck up during class

 **babybibibi** : yeah a class with all of us would be Bad

 **irisbest** : Chaos™

 **pipes** : i appreciate but yeah you should probs take online classes

 **irisbest** : i’ve been eyeing some creative writing class for the past ten minutes

 **lesbianda** : someone tell snart about the impressionism art class

 **heatwave** : you have his number

 **lesbianda** : don’t expose me like this

 **oliverqueer** : i wanted to take russian

 **bilance** : russian. What the fuck

 **bilance** : you barely manage english

 **transco** : oh ym god

 **pipes** : sara just lives to harrass oliver

 **bilance** : i do

 **bilance** : but for real what the fuck do you want with russian

 **captaincold** : plottwist: queen’s in contact with the russian mafia

 **babybibibi** : that’s stuff for a tv show

 **irisbest** : he’s a pretty queer billionaire who does archery that’s already enough stuff for a tv show

 **lesbianda** : iris is gonna write fic about oliver in her writing class

 **irisbest** : [gif voice] maybe so

 **transo** : gif voice

 **irisbest** : i have never seen the source i have no idea what it is beyond the gif let me have this

 **transco** : okay

 **pipes** : holy shit there’s a class on roman mythologies

 **pipes** : bitch i’m going

 **babybibibi** : ofc u are

 **bilance** : i wanted to try out capoeira

 **oliverqueer** : sure add another martial art

 **lesbianda** : how many are you at by now

 **bilance** : two and a half

 **bilance** : and im only at blue and green with the 2

 **heatwave** : what are they all

 **pipes** : someone mention sports and mick is an eye emoji

 **bilance** : judo is blue kyu, ju jutsu is green and i only tried a lil of tescao plus there are no belts unless they have been hiding that fact from me

 **heatwave** : sweet

 **heatwave** : capoeira’s really breaking the streak here

 **bilance** : just wanna know all the arts of kicking someone in the balls

 **lesbianda** : hm mood

 **babybibibi** : yall really wanna beat up ppl w testicles huh

 **bilance** : yeah

 **lesbianda** : only cis dudes usually

 **detectiveprettybi** : u know what i just realized

 **detectiveprettybi** : Are y’all gonna throw me out of this chat

 **transco** : now why the fuck would we do that

 **detectiveprettybi** : im not a student any more

 **detectiveprettybi** : and yall were pretty fixed on that rule

 **pipes** : dude if we added every queer person we know into this chat then it’d be pretty cosy

 **pipes** : still oliver ill kill you if you throw out eddie just saiyng

 **bilance** : as the captain of this chat i declare that eddie stays

 **oliverqueer** : well as the ADMIN i share the sentiment

 **oliverqueer** : honestly this chat goes beyond the uni club

 **lesbianda** : yeah we a family

 **lesbianda** : tight af

 **transco** : linda ilu but never talk like that again

 **lesbianda** : yeah it felt strange

 **irisbest** : hm what are we gonna do when new ppl wanna join the club next semester

 **oliverqueer** : maybe actually act like one

 **oliverqueer** : we’ve been a mess that mostly communicates online and the few times we actually met up in a club-like setting were... few

 **oliverqueer** : and no, drinking together doesn’t count

 **pipes** : damn which meetings DO count then

 **heatwave** : first 1 and christmas

 **heatwave** : they sucked

 **babybibibi** : bc there was no alcohol?

 **heatwave** : ya

 **spACEbar** : i cant even believe eddie thought it possible we could throw him out

 **snowflake** : ikr it’s not like we were subtle about wanting him to stay

 **detectiveprettybi** : im sorry it’s one thing if you want me to stay around physically and another if it comes to this chat!!!

 **captaincold** : trust me i don’t want either

 **transco** : one day youll be best friends i swear

 **captaincold** : i’d rather been blown up

 **oliverqueer** : do you have enemies where that’s a likely result

 **captaincold** : hm yeah definitely could happen

 **irisbest** : worrisome

 **pipes** : hey so would we add new club members to this chat

 **babybibibi** : didnt you just say it’d get crowded

 **pipes** : i said if we added EVERY queer person we know

 **captaincold** : imagine if pipes added everyone who fucked him

 **bilance** : i doubt this chat has that much data

 **pipes** : slutshaming!

 **transco** : you guys realize HR developed this chat for the uni only

 **transco** : can’t use it if you’re not a student. Or well. Ex student

 **spACEbar** : cisco being the only one with common sense

 **bilance** : savage @ bar

 **irisbest** : they woke up with that big mouth don’t ask me

 **transco** : it’s the birthday excitement buzzing in their veins

 **lesbianda** : isn’t it your birthday soon too cisco

 **transco** : more than a month

 **transco** : arm emoji

 **spACEbar** : why arent we making a fuzz about that cisco turns 21 too

 **detectiveprettybi** : yeah but literally nothing changes for him

 **detectiveprettybi** : he already drinks

 **pipes** : my bf is wild

 **captaincold** : you’d know

 **pipes** : ;)

 **babybibibi** : he is

 **snowflake** : i feel like we don’t even know each other birthdays

 **transco** : oh no

 **snowflake** : let’s make a round! Mine is 28th june!

 **spACEbar** : i think mine’s known by now but. 14th march

 **transco** : 20 april

 **detectiveprettybi** : 6 april

 **bilance** : 25 dec

 **pipes** : 10 nov

 **captaincold** : … 2 june

 **oliverqueer** : 16 may

 **lesbianda** : 18 july

 **lesbianda** : mick’s is 28 august

 **irisbest** : 24 june

 **babybibibi** : 21 april

 **detectiveprettybi** : hang on ronnie and cisco’s brithdays are right after one another

 **detectiveprettybi** : this is legendary

 **spACEbar** : dmn april and june‘s gonna be expensive

 **snowflake** : WAIT

 **snowflake** : HARTLEY

 **snowflake** : WE MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY????????

 **pipes** : dw we went out drinking on that day anyways

 **pipes** : and then i spent the night cuddled up with cisco so

 **pipes** : shrug emoji

 **transco** : wait we weren’t together then

 **pipes** : nah rmbr when i got smashed and wanted to hook up with axel but you thought that aint a good idea when drunk

 **transco** : … not really no

 **transco** : but hey im a fucking hero

 **lesbianda** : sometimes i feel like just rereading this chat for the lolz

 **snowflake** : aw that warms my heart

 **detectiveprettybi** : i love how that memory’s burnt into hartley’s mind

 **detectiveprettybi** : it’s precious

 **spACEbar** : wait so are you 20 bc I remember you introducing yourself as 19 in October

 **pipes** : yeah no i was thinking ahead

 **captaincold** : damn pipes when the fuck did you finish high school

 **pipes** : @ 17 why

 **transco** : stop bragging so casually

 **heatwave** : hey snart you received sexual acts from a 18yo kid

 **captaincold** : oh shit

 **lesbianda** : and he exploded

 **spACEbar** : definitely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> caitlin has a canon birthday but i forgot about that while writing and now it doesnt fit anymore :(
> 
> and im genuinely wondering whether to include new characters in the next semester's parts when they happen (and they will. i have plot bunnies that take place after the break. can you believe how long this fic is going on. will it ever end? hopefully not)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group discusses superheroes. bc, you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) ages ago questionablysanefangirl suggested that bruce wayne and christian bale _kinda_ look alike and who would i be to let this pass me by?  
>  2) my knowledge of marvel heroes boils down to the queer ones

 

**transco:** who’s y’all’s fav superhero

**babybibibi** : does wicked + the divine count

**transco** : i know of your massive boner for inanna but those are gods

**pipes** : so loki doesn’t count either?

**transco** : first of all, loki is a villain

**pipes** : is not!

**transco** : is too

**pipes** : is not

**pipes** : i told you to read agent of asgard

**transco** : …

**transco** : either way he’s a god anyways

**lesbianda** : karolina dean

**captaincold** : oh the lesbian

**lesbianda** : My Brand™

**heatwave** : blade

**transco** : i did not expect mick to actually answer to this

**captaincold** : mick digs vampire killers

**heatwave** : carryin a stake wherever i go

**lesbianda** : and he aint ashamed 

**babybibibi** : how are you such an icon

**irisbest** : storm

**captaincold** : classy

**transco** : mine’s wiccan like y’all know

**transco** : snart stop commenting on everyone and share yours

**snowflake** : mine’s phoenix!!!!

**captaincold** : easy, bobby drake

**lesbianda** : wait who’s bobby drake

**transco** : iceman

**lesbianda** : of course

**pipes** : something:  has to do with cold | snart: on it

**transco** : im surprised he didnt fall in love with caitlin for her last name alone tbh

**babybibibi** : not that i encourage it but leonard snow sounds cool

**pipes** : it does

**lesbianda** : i have to agree

**transco** : did you cry when they made him come out

**captaincold** : not at all

**heatwave** : kept chanting that he knew it tho

**captaincold** : well? I DID know it

**babybibibi** : your gaydar works on fictional characters that’s amazing

**captaincold** : what, yours doesn’t?

**babybibibi** : we’re at the wishful thinking stage

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s so sad

**transco** : eddie my man who’s your fav

**detectiveprettybi** : magneto hands down

**heatwave** : wow

**heatwave** : think snart’s considering to burn his magneto was right shirt

**pipes** : snart has a magneto was right shirt???

**transco** : this is amazing

**transco** : this is better than when hart sucked up and wore a graphic tee of mine for the first time

**lesbianda** : true love

**babybibibi** : snart and eddie agree on something other than worshipping bar???

**captaincold** : i have a solidarity towards magneto based on judaism alone

**irisbest** : magneto was fuckin right

**spACEbar** : idk he was extreme

**detectiveprettybi** : OF COURSE HE WAS

**captaincold** : X-MEN IS AN ANALOGY FOR THE HOLOCAUST WHICH MAGNETO LITERALLY LIVED THROUGH

**captaincold** : bar i love you lets not have our first big fight about this

**spACEbar** : im sorry?

**oliverqueer** : i think this is a good time to point out that recently I have come to accept Hawkeye as my fav

**lesbianda** : is it the archery

**oliverqueer** : ofc its the archery

**pipes** : i love the ASL issue

**oliverqueer** : ya that was amazing

**oliverqueer** : mcu should step up

**pipes** : ok while we’re at that i have chosen my fav hero other than loki

**transco** : do tell

**pipes** : nyle dimarco

**heatwave** : the fuck is that

**pipes** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : oh damn

**babybibibi** : oh wow

**transco** : OH HIM

**pipes** : he’s a Deaf model & actor, won ANTM and dancing w/ the stars and also he has a degree in maths

**pipes** : frequently speaks up about Deaf issues and also he’s “sexually fluid”

**oliverqueer** : wow

**lesbianda** : damn even i just fell in love

**pipes** : he’s amazing

**captaincold** : huh

**heatwave** : snart’s nod of approval

**irisbest** : now that’s a white man i would trust

**transco** : OH SPEAKING OF

**transco** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : i thought we were past newsies

**pipes** : oh ollie 

**heatwave** : ain’t newsies the pic quality’s too good

**irisbest** : eye emoji @ mick

**lesbianda** : a man of hidden talents

**pipes** : that’s not Christian bale 

**babybibibi** : it’s not????

**pipes** : ik it looks like it but

**pipes** : [image attached]

**transco** : we figured Eddie could like that

**detectiveprettybi** : wait 

**detectiveprettybi** : BRUCE WAYNE????

**irisbest** : why does Bruce look like Christian bale fjfkflfj

**spACEbar** : are you getting an Instagram finally Eddie

**transco** : he has such a lovely profile it’s mostly like a Humans of Gotham Thing

**transco** : he loves his city

**lesbianda** : how can you love Gotham 

**pipes** : don’t forget the borderline suggestive selfies babe

**pipes** : [image attached]

**pipes** : the caption for this is just a coffee shop rec

**bilance** : this is brilliant

**bilance** : i Love brucie 

**detectiveprettybi** : how did you think it was a good idea to introduce me to this

**detectiveprettybi** : when my first day at work is tomorrow

**transco** : figured it’d be a nice distraction

**heatwave** : shoot off some steam

**pipes** : SHOOT UP SOME YOU IN THE YOU OF SOME SONG

**spACEbar** : why did I KNOW you’d do that

**transco** : bc you’re the only one other than him who’s actually listened to Spring Awakening more than once

**detectiveprettybi** : excuse me I have a crisis

**captaincold** : like Mick said jerk off and be quiet 

**irisbest** : who says he’s quiet 

**oliverqueer** : go ahead and remind him that you hooked up

**detectiveprettybi** : I’ll get shot tomorrow

**pipes** : I’ll bring you flowers 

**detectiveprettybi** : thanks

**bilance** : Bruce might like if you get injured on duty

**bilance** : that shits hot

**lesbianda** : did you talk about kinks

**bilance** : sadly no but

**babybibibi** : guy keeps supporting the police right

**oliverqueer** : well as much as you can in Gotham I guess

**captaincold** : he keeps pointing out that one guy all the time

**captaincold** : wants him to become commissioner 

**pipes** : eye emoji

**transco** : eye emoji

**irisbest** : eye emoji 

**heatwave** : hes still scanning police news

**heatwave** : also gossip

**spACEbar** : he loves the gossip

**lesbianda** : he really does

**captaincold** : i regret joining this chat

**oliverqueer** : you should be used to someone being dragged in here by now

**babybibibi** : yeah but usually he’s the one dragging

**captaincold** : ^

**bilance** : the only one who drags him is west

**detectiveprettybi** : speaking of that I should go to bed

**transco** : sleep well!

**oliverqueer** : you can survive it!

**babybibibi** : arm emoji

**pipes** : the instagram handle is gothamknight btw

**detectiveprettybi** : <3

**irisbest** : don’t be weird around my dad

**spACEbar** : joe is great you’ll see

**lesbianda** : be nice to joe and he’ll be nice to you

**detectiveprettybi** : I’ll just. Try to do my job I guess

**heatwave** : clever idea at work

**detectiveprettybi** : OKAY BYE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nyle dimarco? the best, most beautiful person.
> 
> speaking of, i read andy mientus' book last week and my crush on him got even bigger which means my crush on hartley rathaway has also grown exceptionally once again


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie's frist day at ccpd works exactly like y'all would expect

**spACEbar** : there was no nervous breakdown in here????

**spACEbar** : i swear joe had one

**transco** : joe had what now

**spACEbar** : he kept muttering and swearing the whole morning and kept fumbling with his tie

**heatwave** : wants to look better than a rookie

**transco** : seems likely

**spACEbar** : iris just went “this is gonna end in a death”

**spACEbar** : wally is just laughing his ass off

**snowflake** : you have explained the situation to him right

**spACEbar** : yeah i told him we know eddie from the chat

**spACEbar** : and judging by our reactions he guessed one of us has slept with eddie and It Ain’t Me

**transco** : [selena gomez intensifies]

**transco** : is it even okay to mention her to the bieber stan #1

**spACEbar** : i dont deserve this slander

**heatwave** : u think pretty bi killed the quiver

**transco** : you’re so obsessed with this mick

**heatwave** : old habits die hard

**snowflake** : one of the ppl in the quiver would’ve texted about it i’m sure

**spACEbar** : that’s true

**spACEbar** : in case of the apocalypse happening we’d all be making memes about it

**transco** : there’ll be ppl who make memes about how ppl make memes

**spACEbar** : memeception

**snowflake** : did detective west leave already?

**spACEbar** : yeah that’s how i got time to text

**spACEbar** : iris is currently chasing wally through the house but that boy’s got speed

**heatwave** : doesnt he got school

**spACEbar** : mick you genius

**spACEbar** : imma save iris

**transco** : run bar run!!!!

**snowflake** : why is she even chasing wally

**transco** : we can only guess

**heatwave** : inapprehensible comments

**snowflake** : … do you mean inappropriate

**heatwave** : yes

**transco** : it sounds v likely

**pipes** : miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick come pick me up and buy me breeeeaaaaaaakfaaaaaaaaaaast

**heatwave** : no

**transco** : that aint hartley

**heatwave** : lisa

**transco** : adds up

**snowflake** : lisa why do you have hartley’s phone

**pipes** : was closer than mine

**pipes** : mick, lenny will read youve been mean to me :(

**heatwave** : ain’t even mean

**heatwave** : just lazy 

**transco** : why is Hart’s phone closer than urs

**pipes** : crashed in his bed

**transco** : ah.

**spACEbar** : I thought you hated each other

**pipes** : nah we’re besties nowadays keep up Bar dear

**spACEbar** : honestly this is getting more difficult by the minute

**pipes** : we watched the live action beauty and the beast yesterday 

**transco** : how did you do that hartley hates it

**pipes** : yeah I know now

**pipes** : anyway I wish my Better Older Brother™️ Michael Lincoln Rory would spend some quality time with me :(((

**snowflake** : are you really calling mick your brother

**snowflake** : that’s so sweet!

**pipes** : until they went straight I’d always expected them to get married for a job so yeah 

**heatwave** : not straight

**spACEbar** : “straight”

**transco** : STRAIGHT

**snowflake** : very straight

**irisbest** : straight

**bilance** : lol straight

**oliverqueer** : straight.

**pipes** : how the hell

**transco** : anyway yes it was established that coldwave are pretty much married

**pipes** : you gave them a shipname!!!

**heatwave** : No

**spACEbar** : capitalization

**transco** : all of us have shipnames. Like hart and I are hartmon 

**pipes** : that makes no sense why his first name and your last one

**transco** : idk bc it sounds like a digimon?

**spACEbar** : valid!

**snowflake** : Ollie and felicity are olicity and Sara and nyssa are nyssara

**pipes** : what are Bar and Lenny 

**oliverqueer** : Captain Space

**pipes** : they know no space when they’re together

**irisbest** : called tf out

**irisbest** : Lisa I’ll buy you breakfast if we can roast ppl together

**pipes** : my fav free time activity 

**captaincold** : it better be

**pipes** : aw brother dear 

**irisbest** : You’re subject number 1

**captaincold** : ofc i am

**pipes** : she really woke me up by dropping the phone into MY FACE

**heatwave** : that’s her soft side

**captaincold** : once when we were younger she made my bed snap closed

**captaincold** : while I was in it

**transco** : how did she do that

**heatwave** : I helped

**oliverqueer** : ofc you did 

**spACEbar** : back to Eddie tho do you think he’ll text during break

**babybibibi** : i feel like he won’t even leave his assigned space for the day

**snowflake** : are they on patrol or desk

**spACEbar** : desk

**captaincold** : detective was very happy about that

**pipes** : did he complain to YOU?

**spACEbar** : he even complained to the delivery guy last week

**transco** : joe is so iconic 

**pipes** : if dig and laurel won’t adopt me he should

**pipes** : not like he’s got no experience 

**captaincold** : you do realize Bar is not adopted 

**pipes** : potato potahto 

**oliverqueer** : actually that’s a big difference they could legally marry Iris 

**spACEbar** : I feel weird about saying this but

**spACEbar** : in another life,

**captaincold** : can someone else make the obligatory pretty bi comment I do not want to 

**transco** : ofc YOU’d know that Oliver

**captaincold** : thank you Cisco 

**captaincold** : you're the second to last I will kill

**pipes** : rude 

**captaincold** : pipes when in your whole life have you ever done something for me

**pipes** : …

**pipes** : okay fair

**oliverqueer** : is Mick number one

**captaincold** : obviously not 

**heatwave** : number one of who he WILL kill

**captaincold** : ^

**babybibibi** : i love this friendship 

**lesbianda** : joe is extremely irritated by what a “suck up” Eddie is

**snowflake** : did you go to the precinct again

**lesbianda** : no he called me

**spACEbar** : who now

**lesbianda** : joe

**transco** : incredible 

**lesbianda** : hes going crazy

**lesbianda** : for now I told him to play it cool after all that guys new to the job

**lesbianda** : next Time I’ll set them up for dinner 

**pipes** : Iris will kill you

**spACEbar** : ???? What exactly is Eddie doing

**lesbianda** : hes nice and jittery and keeps swaying between talking too much and too little

**lesbianda** : he also grins the whole time

**captaincold** : horror 

**transco** : but eddies smile is pretty :(

**lesbianda** : yeah but he’s GRINNING. Non-stop. He looks cray

**pipes** : cray cray

**spACEbar** : Jesus

**detectiveprettybi** : leave me alone this is stressful

**spACEbar** : oh where did joe go

**detectiveprettybi** : no idea he just huffed and walked away

**captaincold** : iconic

**lesbianda** : eddie!!!! Chill!!!!!!

**lesbianda** : could you just finally act like joe’s a normal person

**detectiveprettybi** : i am!

**detectiveprettybi** : it’s my first day at my dream job exCUSE ME IF I’M NERVOUS

**pipes** : aw you’re a baby

**detectiveprettybi** : we can’t all be collected rich ppl

**pipes** : formerly rich

**heatwave** : nothin to be proud of kid

**pipes** : >:(

**transco** : anyway eddie im positive you’re doing a great job anyways, just relax

**bilance** : my dad sung hymns for you ed

**bilance** : i just woke up

**captaincold** : how’s nyssa

**bilance** : very well, thank you

**bilance** : anyway eddie, you are a very capable guy and have nothing to fear

**pipes** : the first part of that had the sound of an innuendo

**lesbianda** : no it didn’t

**babybibibi** : not really, no

**spACEbar** : ….? Am i too ace to see that

**oliverqueer** : literally how

**captaincold** : wtf pipes

**heatwave** : lil one, ya bf is horny

**transco** : lol when isnt he

**captaincold** : pls go and take care of that

**transco** : ill let him suffer

**pipes** : ;A;

**bilance** : i guess west is back at the desk

**babybibibi** : rip eddie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, realizing that the shipname "coldflash" does not work in this au: _fuck_
> 
> also, i wrote the finale interlude for this part of the story yesterday! but since i don't write chronologically I still have roughly a month to still fill with chapters lol (but i have plans). i'm currently writing chapter 30 as we speak and it's the 19 March 2018. I swear to fucking God,,,


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's bar's birthday! finally!

**transco** : my dear friend bar henry allen,

**transco** : if i were any better with words, i would enter them here

**transco** : for now, though: a very happy birthday to you!

**transco** : the world is a better place with you in it and i’m thankful for it.

**transco** : i have been, and always shall be, your friend

**heatwave** : this aint a private chat kid

**transco** : yeah i know

**transco** : maybe i wanted to make y’all jealous with our aWESOME FRIENDSHIP

**babybibibi** : everyone has an awesome friendship to bar, sco

**babybibibi** : that being said

**babybibibi** : HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAR

**pipes** : happy birthday bar!

**heatwave** : they’re asleep already

**bilance** : eye emoji

**bilance** : how’d you know

**heatwave** : snart’s unsure whether to call them to wish a happy birthday or not

**heatwave** : keeps picking up and setting down his phone

**heatwave** : it’s annoying

**oliverqueer** : happy birthday bar!!!

**bilance** : happy birthday bar

**bilance** : cant wait to see you drunk

**pipes** : oh btw to celebrate, are we heading to saints & sinners or?

**heatwave** : no

**transco** : mick you keep getting more and more present here

**heatwave** : i see saints & sinners often enough i wanna go somewhere else

**babybibibi** : let’s go to deville

**pipes** : guys you do realize that cisco and i still aren’t 21

**transco** : yeah we might not get in

**bilance** : let ollie take care of that

**heatwave** : lol if anyone tried to bribe me i’d kick them in the ass

**oliverqueer** : we can’t go to deville i’m banned there

**babybibibi** : wait what

**bilance** : OH RIGHT

**bilance** : was that FOR LIFE?

**oliverqueer** : yeah

**oliverqueer** : pretty dramatic

**transco** : wHY are you banned

**bilance** : made a girl take off her shirt on the dancefloor

**bilance** : public nudity is frowned upon

**pipes** : im so sad i was too young to really pay attention to the high points of oliver’s life

**oliverqueer** : wow fucking rude

**pipes** : i meant the time you fulfilled your duty as a rich and ruthless billionaire teen

**heatwave** : poison

**transco** : poison?

**babybibibi** : poison for oliver?

**heatwave** : y’all live here don’t ya

**heatwave** : how’d you not know about poison as in the nightclub

**bilance** : ….. We can’t go to poison either

**oliverqueer** : max fuller isn’t particularly fond of us

**babybibibi** : i’m

**pipes** : what the hell oliver

**oliverqueer** : im only a third of the reason!!!!

**transco** : eye emoji

**oliverqueer** : max sent his goonies after me once in his club

**oliverqueer** : so tommy and i got in a fight with them

**bilance** : and laurel broke it off, threatened fuller in the best lawyer manner etc

**pipes** : why did fuller sent his goonies after you

**bilance** : guess

**transco** : oliver could you ever keep it in your pants

**oliverqueer** : they werent married yet!!!

**bilance** : IT WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THEIR WEDDING

**oliverqueer** : I DIDNT KNOW

**oliverqueer** : I DIDNT EVEN KNOW SHE WAS HIS GF

**babybibibi** : gasp!!! She used him!

**bilance** : anyway yeah that’s why we can’t go to poison

**captaincold** : club neon

**pipes** : what the hell is club neon

**heatwave** : they have rocknroll parties on thursdays

**babybibibi** : it’s a wednesday

**captaincold** : yeah it’s great bc i fucking hate rock’n’roll

**transco** : can we get inside tho

**bilance** : let Oliver take care of that, as I said

**pipes** : am I comfortable with that?

**transco** : I’m hella

**heatwave** : pipes is passing down an opportunity to get wasted

**heatwave** : wow

**pipes** : nah I’m not

**pipes** : I’m game

**bilance** : Great!

**oliverqueer** : Club neon it is

**babybibibi** : yaaaayyyyy

**spACEbar** : thanks you guys!!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : happy brithday bar i love you a lot!

**spACEbar** : thank you eddie!

**spACEbar** : <3

**detectiveprettybi** : i love how you have no say in where we go

**spACEbar** : i made my peace with that

**detectiveprettybi** : such a peaceful person

**spACEbar** : oh did you decide whether you’re coming with tonight or not?

**detectiveprettybi** : im gonna risk it

**spACEbar** : yayyy!!

**spACEbar** : you know sometimes i think we should just get in the clear with joe about this whole thing

**detectiveprettybi** : should’ve done that right at the start now it’s too late

**lesbianda** : it’s literally your third day at the ccpd

**lesbianda** : bar dear happy birthday would you like a donut

**spACEbar** : are you coming over????

**lesbianda** : ofc i am

**spACEbar** : !!!!

**spACEbar** : can i get a cupcake

**lesbianda** : you can get 20 cupcakes

**spACEbar** : :D

**detectiveprettybi** : Bar do you have any plans today beyond partying 

**lesbianda** : stop switching the topic!!!

**spACEbar** : yeah actually you’ll have the best opportunity to tell joe you actually know us bc well come pick him up from work

**spACEbar** : family dinner :~)

**detectiveprettybi** : i really don’t think it’s a good idea……

**lesbianda** : don’t have to tell him you slept with Iris duh

**lesbianda** : just that you know us all

**detectiveprettybi** : hm

**detectiveprettybi** : maybe 

**snowflake** : is Snart part of the family dinner

**snowflake** : happy birthday bar <3

**spACEbar** : thanks Cait <3333

**spACEbar** : no he isn’t but we’re visiting my dad before dinner

**snowflake** : sweet!

**detecticeprettybi** : i gotta Head to the precinct, see ya

**lesbianda** : have fun ;)

**irisbest** : Boys Hella punctual ain’t he

**irisbest** : the quiver is closer to the station than our house and yet he leaves before dad

**snowflake** : doesn’t wanna mess up 

**irisbest** : Bar will you ever leave your bed

**spACEbar** : leave me alone I’m old now

**irisbest** : I’ll send Wally to you

**spACEbar** : why is he still at home!!!!!

**pipes** : School only starts at 11 for him on Wednesdays 

**lesbianda** : cant believe hartley knows that and you don’t

**irisbest** : they’ve become friends ever since working on that fuel stuff

**pipes** : :)

**snowflake** : hartley? Having social competence?? I’m so proud

**pipes** : fuck u ronnie 

**spACEbar** : she really sent Wally at me

**spACEbar** : but jokes on Iris

**spACEbar** : [image attached]

**snowflake** : aw cuddly

**lesbianda** : stay like this I’ll hurry my ass

**pipes** : run Linda run 

**lesbianda** : [forrest Gump voice] im linda. Linda paaaark

**spACEbar** : I won’t leave my bed until I have to

**pipes** : the age is really hitting hard huh

**spACEbar** : young boy, you wouldn’t understand

**pipes** : WHEN I WAS

**pipes** : A YOUNG BOY

**pipes** : MY FATHER

**pipes** : TOOK ME INTO THE CITY

**irisbest** : i feel like we had something like this already once

**irisbest** : hartley, for the love of god

**transco** : can we all stop by for a Birthday Breakfast™

**spACEbar** : YOU GENIUS

**spACEbar** : abSOLUTELY

**snowflake** : breakfast and cuddles?

**spACEbar** : breakfast and cuddles!!!!!!!!!

**spACEbar** : just bring some stuff with you

**pipes** : lol eddie will be so mad when he finds out

**pipes** : i, however, am quite thankful i won’t be there

**spACEbar** : hartley what no!!!

**pipes** : im at work im sorry :((

**lesbianda** : youre forgiven

**lesbianda** : in other news iris open the door i cant ring the bell

**transco** : instead of, you know, putting away your phone so you have a free hand

**lesbianda** : dont be daft cisco

**pipes** : yeah babe how can you possibly assume linda would ever put away her phone

**snowflake** : she’s a journalist she can’t legally do that

**transco** : doubt.png but okay

**pipes** : again with the png

**transco** : ignoring you

**oliverqueer** : bar is your bed even stable enough to carry us all

**spACEbar** : probably not but i also have a floor

**spACEbar** : and blankets and pillows on mass

**oliverqueer** : hmmmm

**pipes** : lisa is asking if she can come

**transco** : when did u become so tight with lisa

**snowflake** : he’s going all out lately

**transco** : ikr what happened to the loner emo hartley

**oliverqueer** : you hated the loner emo hartley

**snowflake** : i didnt

**oliverqueer** : yeah obvsly

**pipes** : im having character development that yall can only dream of

**transco** : …. I mean yeah

**snowflake** : it’s nothing in comparison to snart’s tho

**pipes** : well snart is standard you should not pull

**irisbest** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : they look so happy

**transco** : LINDA

**transco** : ARE THOSE BALLOONS IN THE SHAPE OF A 2 AND A 1

**transco** : HOW IS A BEST FRIEND SUPPOSED TO DO BETTER THAN THAT

**lesbianda** : tough luck sweetheart

**transco** : >:(

**captaincold** : … i will just stay put until noon then

**snowflake** : noooooooooo snart come cuddle

**snowflake** : we are currently leaving our apartment

**irisbest** : bring mick too i heard he gives great cuddles

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**captaincold** : are you trying to bribe me with a pouting bar

**lesbianda** : yes is it working

**pipes** : what do you think

**heatwave** : i hate you all

**lesbianda** : :D

**irisbest** : :D

**oliverqueer** : are we just gonna stay at the west’s until we go party

**pipes** : they’re leaving later did you forget

**oliverqueer** : i feel like linda and snart are two people who’d be allowed in the house even if no west were present

**oliverqueer** : so as long as One of them is there….

**lesbianda** : we’ll see about that

**pipes** : well if you do stay please tell me

**transco** : obviously 

**spACEbar** : COME CUDDLE ME

**pipes** : geez so demanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, two things:
> 
> 1) my best friend showed up on my doorstep on my birthday with helium balloons in the shape of two 2s. it's been three weeks and they're still floating around. bar will have theirs for the rest of the break, if not for longer. (and cisco's 'how's a best friend supposed to top that???' is my exact reaction bc _how am i gonna give her something even better_ )
> 
> 2) i have wrapped up the chat part of this fic and am only missing like three interludes at this point. did i write 15k words in a week? in form of a chat? I totally did. What does this mean for you? I'm gonna post a new chap twice a week now \- be ready for mondays and thursdays incoming, my friends. it's getting intense.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> birthday aftermath!

**oliverqueer** : does anyone else got problems getting rid of the paint

**transco** : a little but it’s fine

**transco** : started the night looking like the german flag but now I’m Ghana or something 

**heatwave** : u and pipes got literally dirty huh

**transco** : better tell me if I can save these sheets or if they’re a case for the trash

**oliverqueer** : i look like a Panda or smth

**oliverqueer** : Felicity and Bar teaming up is not good

**pipes** : you looked nice with that eye shadow

**pipes** : you should try real one instead of paint at some point

**heatwave** : gotta put the sheets in some bleach and let it sit for like a day

**heatwave** : clean normally then and U good

**transco** : Mick are you secretly a houseman

**heatwave** : nah pretty told me

**detectiveprettybi** : ???? I did not

**captaincold** : no Nate is pretty

**detectiveprettybi** : is he now

**bilance** : hm Nate IS pretty

**irisbest** : i forgot if we’ve ever seen Nate 

**oliverqueer** : at rays birthday party definitely

**bilance** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : oh yes i remember

**detectiveprettybi** : wait if nate is pretty what am I

**captaincold** : annoying

**heatwave** : pretty bi

**transco** : simple 

**pipes** : mick: namedrops a pretty dude

**pipes** : everyone: suddenly awake

**detectiveprettybi** : were easy

**oliverqueer** : is bar alright

**oliverqueer** : we might have given them too much alcohol

**captaincold** : nah they’re fine they’re sleeping

**heatwave** : didn’t even make it through the first half of moana

**transco** : u guys watched moana.

**heatwave** : they were really demanding 

**pipes** : I feel like they actually know the impact their adorableness has and use that for their success

**irisbest** : yeah they’re an evil mastermind 

**bilance** : i knew it

**captaincold** : Mick likes te kā

**heatwave** : fire

**detectiveprettybi** : huh Yeah

**captaincold** : in other news who took Bars phone 

**oliverqueer** : oh didn’t we all have it at some point

**bilance** : i have to wonder why we thought they could fuck up via text

**bilance** : what does a drunk bar feel except even more love

**heatwave** : hunger 

**irisbest** : Bar is always hungry 

**transco** : I think Caitlin had the phone last

**pipes** : i envy bar for having their first hangover in the presence of mick’s hangover scrambled eggs

**pipes** : they might even be better than dig’s

**bilance** : gasPS i’ll tell him

**pipes** : NO

**pipes** : HE’LL DISOWN ME TOO

**detectiveprettybi** : when did the adoption go through

**pipes** : it’s through in my heart

**bilance** : can both laurel and dig adopt you when they’re not married tho

**captaincold** : you guys should ask your local lawyer

**transco** : can’t, laurel doesn’t know she’s adopting hart

**captaincold** : that’s unfortunate

**detectiveprettybi** : one day you’ll have to break the news to them hartley

**pipes** : you mean. Like other news

**detectiveprettybi** : shhhhhhhhh

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**detectiveprettybi** : morning ronnie

**heatwave** : smooth

**detectiveprettybi** : dont mind hartley he’s still drunk

**transco** : pretty sure he aint

**detectiveprettybi** : pretty sure he is. I will bring him a coffee bc im nice

**transco** : bring me one too

**bilance** : wait cisco you crashed at the quiver

**transco** : i literally entered the house with yall

**bilance** : i…. Have no memory of seeing you

**babybibibi** : sco’s too small

**transco** : shrug emoji

**detectiveprettybi** : coffee’s coming up

**irisbest** : so did anyone else find that weird

**oliverqueer** : yeah something’s definitely up

**bilance** : hella weird

**bilance** : where’s linda when you need her

**captaincold** : y’all are litera

**babybibibi** : what just happened 

**oliverqueer** : snart?

**bilance** : this gets weirder and weirder

**heatwave** : nah he had to rush to the bathroom

**heatwave** : with bar

**irisbest** : oh no

**babybibibi** : they grow old so fast :’)

**heatwave** : nothing a healthy vomit fest can’t heal

**bilance** : gross

**babybibibi** : like that’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever heard

**irisbest** : head’s up bar will be screaming for food within ten minutes

**irisbest** : every time they get sick, i tell ya

**oliverqueer** : they truly do eat a lot

**transco** : [image attached]

**transco** : gotta love the quiver

**babybibibi** : that was no fantasy threesome listed in this chat

**babybibibi** : but a nice sight

**bilance** : is it bc eddie is shirtless

**babybibibi** : yeah that’s the only reason. My ex and my best friend are horrible to look at

**pipes** : ;/

**oliverqueer** : jeez you really do still feel the alcohol

**captaincold** : i will never in my whole life every drink alcohol again

**detectiveprettybi** : classic 

**snowflake** : oh Bar are you alright

**captaincold** : I think I puked out a kidney

**captaincold** : like seriously

**captaincold** : theyre being dramatic

**oliverqueer** : did Snart just call someone else dramatic 

**snowflake** : did you get some painkillers yet?

**snowflake** : also peppermint tea

**captaincold** : this ain’t the first hangover we’re dealing with but thanks snow

**snowflake** : :)

**bilance** : aw cait 

**irisbest** : let her

**irisbest** : my dad keeps asking if Linda ever wakes up

**pipes** : oh she crashed at urs

**irisbest** : yeah and I think she’s getting all the sleep her blogging stole from her now

**babybibibi** : good for her

**transco** : [image attached]

**detectiveprettybi** : watching cisco frantically search for a meme before its too late is soooo entertaining

**babybibibi** : agreed

**pipes** : ^

**captaincold** : bar agrees

**irisbest** : same

**snowflake** : me too

**transco** : listen, do you know how much shit is in my meme folder

**oliverqueer** : really dedicated are you

**lesbianda** : hey uhhhh bar i might have ruined your pillows

**bilance** : why did you sleep in bar’s bed of all things

**lesbianda** : iris kicks while she sleeps

**snowflake** : scroll up, mick said how to get rid off stains

**lesbianda** : sure im gonna do the laundry in a foreign home

**irisbest** : “foreign”

**lesbianda** : you know what i mean

**babybibibi** : when is bar leaving again

**captaincold** : tomorrow

**bilance** : im leaving on monday

**oliverqueer** : literally who asked

**snowflake** : i would have asked

**bilance** : see that’s why cait’s my fav

**lesbianda** : cait is your fav?

**bilance** : cait is everyone’s fav

**transco** : i thought bar is everyone’s fav

**detectiveprettybi** : both. Both is good.

**oliverqueer** : dreamworks represent

**irisbest** : im still so shook oliver is a dreamworks guy

**pipes** : “im not like other guys, i like dreamworks!!!!”

**bilance** : pretty sure he really used that as a pick-up line

**captaincold** : wow

**captaincold** : in other news: caitlin, ronnie, mick’s coming over to grab bar’s phone. Be decent or be not, idc

**transco** : dare i say iconiqué

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't even think i need to mention that i did, in fact, watch moana on my birthday


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a look into bar's phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ios doesn't support emojis on google docs so they were copy pasted on desktop and i would have liked to die tbh, don't expect me to bring them in here ever again

**WhatsApp group:** _BEST-Family_ ❤️🍕💯

February 27 2018

 

**Joe** 👮🏾: Kids, I’d appreciate if

y’all could send me a message before

showing up at the precinct.

**Iris**  💅🏾 **:** well we couldnt

possibly guess that the others would be

there too could we

especially linda

how should we account for linda

**Wally** 🏎️ **:** i feel like soon we’ll

have to add her to this chat

**Iris 💅🏾:** we’ll just make a new chat and call

it ‘appointments to visit dad at work’

**Iris 💅🏾: **we’ll include us three, cecile, joanie,

snart and linda

maybe mick and cisco too

**Wally 🏎️: **has cisco ever visited joe at work

**Iris 💅🏾: **no but maybe he wants to

yeah didn’t you two become tight

**Joe 👮🏾:** I have talked to Cisco about three

times in my life.

**Wally 🏎️: **cisco and me are tight af

**Joe 👮🏾:** Language.

**Wally 🏎️: **i didn’t even write full words!

**Iris 💅🏾:** wow dad when did you learn internet

speak

**Joe 👮🏾: **There was a workshop specifically

regarding abbreviations.

omg

**Wally 🏎️: **kewl so nao we can talk lik this n

dadll catch tf up

oh god

**Iris 💅🏾:** that was horrible

**Iris 💅🏾: **dont ever do that again

**Joe 👮🏾: **Wallace, no.

ohhhhh full name

**Iris 💅🏾: **youre screwed

**Joe 👮🏾: **Language.

**Iris 💅🏾: **like you dont curse

**Joe 👮🏾:** I am the parent.

**Iris 💅🏾: **and we’re adults

except for wally. Wally’s a baby

**Iris 💅🏾: **thats been established

**Wally 🏎️: **hey!

**Wally 🏎️: **anyway we couldnt posisbly know

we’d all show up @ ur work

**Wally 🏎️:** and we certainly couldnt have known

youd get a new partner today right guys

nO

**Iris 💅🏾: **how could we POSSIBLY

**Joe 👮🏾: **Don’t remind me of that.

**Joe 👮🏾: **You know, I thought Singh and I were

buds but there he goes giving me a freaking

newbie.

**Joe 👮🏾: **Better shoulda given me deskwork 24/7.

aw joe he’s probably a great guy

fantastic even

**Iris 💅🏾: **yeah right!!!!! Singh wouldve never given

you someone Bad

**Joe 👮🏾: **Yeah, just someone reckless and probably

irresponsible.

**Wally 🏎️: **not like we could judge him right

**Iris 💅🏾: **EXACTLY WALLY

 

**Cisco** 🖖🏼

March 03 2018

 

HEY SO

from one person who dates an emotionally

handicapped person to the other

HELP

what’s up!!!

also i wouldnt actually describe len

like that

??????????

not???????

he’s surprisingly good at emotions he

just doesnt like to show them

well to most people at least i guess

well great that ruins my premise

then skip that and go to The Thing

right. Thanks

so um

hartley said he loves me

HE DID

That’s so great!!!!!!!!!!!

and i kind of didnt say it back

wait

what

what do you mean “kind of”

well i

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

that’s basically what i said

cisco……………..

like. Were you just so surprised or

i don’t know man!

weve been dating for like 4 months and

before that i spent the majority of my life

hating him!

also like. one second we were fighting about

that me still living there thing and then he says

he's just worried bc he loves me?????

AWWWWW

sorry i mean

that’s valid

it’s okay if you’re not at that step yet

as long as you’re honest with him

about that

yeah thats what he said too

but still i feel. Majorly bad

understandable

but hartley’s a reasonable guy it’s not

like he’s already planning your wedding

or stuff

i hope at least

maybe all those musicals have gone

to his head

whos his fav in les mis

javert

nah he’s fine

that actually made me laugh

you want me to come over?

I can bring star trek beyond with me

oh yes give me that sweet spones action

 

 

**Len** 💗⛄ 💛 🎨 💙

March 09 2018

 

hey is it ok if i tell hal and

kara about you?

I thought your friends already know

you’re taken

me? Telling my friends about you

before we even started dating?

It’s more likely than you think!

next time Mick says I use too many

memes I’ll just lock him up with you

lbr nobody can top Cisco

eye emoji

tHAT’S noT WHAT I MEANT

AND YOU KNOW IT

and you knew what you were getting into

yeah i realized as soon as i hit send

aNYWAY i meant tell them about…

well your past

but like!! Just, you know, thieving.

And prison and. Stuff.

Bar, you can totally go ahead and tell them

how we met, yes.

I’m surprised you didn’t already

why are you typing like this

got my serious mood on

well? Stop

anything for you

so you really dont mind?

I’d tell you if I did babe

right

anything else on your mind?

hm not really

can’t pinpoint it yet

that’s ok take your time

<3

are you in the mood to go to the

cinema tonight?

black panther is still running

didn’t you see it with cisco already

yeah and it’s GREAT

do i need to know the other movies

i’ll fill you in if you need it

aight

food too?

hm maybe afterwards

movie’s running @ 7

ill pick you up at half

great! <3

i love you

love you too

 

 

**WhatsApp group:** _SPAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEE_ 🚀⭐🛸

March 14 2018

 

**Hal** ✈️ **:** BAAAAAAAAAAARR

RRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

**Hal ✈️: **HAPPY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHDAAAAAAAAY

**Hal ✈️: **come on you can’t be sleeping already!!!

!!!!!!!!!

**Hal ✈️:** it’s your birthday!!!!!

**Hal ✈️: **i hope that boyfriend of yours is keeping

you busy

**Kara** 👽 **:** Hal I have a question

**Kara 👽:** do you EVER sleep

**Hal ✈️:** it was only midnight!

**Hal ✈️: **Who goes to bed before midnight!

**Hal ✈️: **On the night before their birthday!

me

thanks tho

**Hal ✈️:** [gif attached]

**Kara 👽:** thanks for that

we should watch moana when

we’re together

**Kara 👽: **happy birthday barry! From winn and

alex too

thanks!!!

**Hal ✈️:** i cant believe i have yet to meet them

**Kara 👽: **well YOU never come to national city

**Kara 👽: **who’s fault is it, huh?

**Hal ✈️: **well soRRY

**Hal ✈️:** next time i’ll just make a detour when

i’m flying

oh big mood

**Hal ✈️: **i hope you know we’ll get fucking

smashed when y’all are here

im already getting dragged out tonight

i can already see me being wasted

after like one beer

**Kara 👽: **hm you ARe skinny

**Hal ✈️: **who even drags you out

iris, snart & our friends

**Kara 👽: **i wanna hear all about these friends

**Hal ✈️: **so is iris still so fine

why are you like this

**Kara 👽: **haven’t you recently rekindled your

relationship to “the love of your life”

**Hal ✈️: **you can still look at other people

**Kara 👽: **hm yeah

do you check out ppl together

**Hal ✈️: **we’re both straight

**Kara 👽:** disgusting

are you tho

**Hal ✈️: **ill have you know YOU had a crush on ME

yeah im aware

**Kara 👽: **why do we hang out with a straight guy

i dont even know

speaking of my friends are here soon

so i’ll talk to you later

**Kara 👽: **have fun!

**Hal ✈️:** i want drunk selfies

**Kara 👽:** i think theyll only start drinking in

the evening

**Hal ✈️: **boring

**Hal ✈️:** looks like we’re all on our own now

**Kara 👽: **well look at that lena is calling

**Hal ✈️: **fucking rude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hal's gif was - obviously - maui saying YOU'RE WELCOME so this explains why the hell bar was in the mood for moana after partying


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bar's putting their foot DOWN

**spACEbar** : god i was so disgusting yesterday

**snowflake** : you had your first hangover you’re allowed to

**spACEbar** : i was talking about important stuff with snart yesterday and had to trhow up in the middle of it

**detectiveprettybi** : a hangover is not a time for deep convos bar

**spACEbar** : yeah i know now

**snowflake** : aw bby

**spACEbar** : anyway! Im feeling better and only slightly anxious about my bus ride later so 

**spACEbar** : shrug emoji

**detectiveprettybi** : RIGHT you’re leaving today

**detectiveprettybi** : do you want an escort

**spACEbar** : thanks but joe insisted to drive me

**spACEbar** : we don’t, and i quote, “spend enough time together any more”

**snowflake** : oh dear

**spACEbar** : maybe he’s right idk i don’t mind hanging out with him so

**spACEbar** : shrug emoji

**transco** : can we focus on the fact that

**transco** : only last week eddie was still being awkward about whether he can still hang out with iris and bar and now

**transco** : all back in

**detectiveprettybi** : y’all told me to take it easy

**transco** : yeah true

**snowflake** : is snart showing you off though

**spACEbar** : nope :( joe wants solo time

**bilance** : that sounds wrong

**transco** : how is your timing so great

**bilance** : it’s my superpower

**transco** : i thought that was fighting, looking good, being bi and able to control everyone

**bilance** : yeah but i also have some snazzy oneliners

**heatwave** : that’s true

**bilance** : see? Even mick agrees

**lesbianda** : bc mick has taste

**bilance** : aw! mwah

**detectiveprettybi** : focus back on bar pls

**detectiveprettybi** : what are we gonna do without them!

**spACEbar** : you do realize i have my phone on me

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah but you’re hanging out with ppl you usually only chat with soooo

**spACEbar** : c h i l l a x

**oliverqueer** : didn’t we say snart is the drama queen of this chat

**lesbianda** : eddie is competing on so many levels

**spACEbar** : pls stop

**irisbest** : holy shit

**transco** : did you just

**pipes** : damn

**bilance** : a rejection!

**captaincold** : finally

**detectiveprettybi** : i…

**spACEbar** : ??????

**spACEbar** : i’ve obVIOUSLY been rejecting eddie THE WHOLE TIME? I’m dating LEN?

**oliverqueer** : ehh

**lesbianda** : you, like, never actually said the words

**spACEbar** : im pretty sure i did

**spACEbar** : and like, as i said, im in a relationship?

**spACEbar** : a good one?

**snowflake** : aw

**spACEbar** : mick take snart’s phone i can sense him starting to wail up something about how he sucks

**heatwave** : damn u good

**spACEbar** : that’s because i LOVE and KNOW my BOYFRIEND

**pipes** : damn bar nobody said you didn’t

**snowflake** : yeah we all know you’re the otp to end all otps

**transco** : speaking of where’s ronnie

**bilance** : bar we aint accusing you of anything

**lesbianda** : yeah we know youd never cheat or lead someone on on purpose

**irisbest** : never on purpose, no

**spACEbar** : … oh dear

**spACEbar** : eddie you don’t have a real crush on me do you

**detectiveprettybi** : NAH

**detectiveprettybi** : i just like shitting on snart

**heatwave** : kinky

**spACEbar** : are you sure

**detectiveprettybi** : yes?

**spACEbar** : why the question mark

**detectiveprettybi** : yes i am indeed sure

**spACEbar** : good

**spACEbar** : len

**transco** : are you really waiting for an answer

**lesbianda** : …. Mick give snart back his phone

**heatwave** : coming right up

**spACEbar** : ah should’ve thought of that

**lesbianda** : yeah i suppose i know my bff better than you do

**irisbest** : rude

**pipes** : everyone’s so jealous here

**babybibibi** : were you ever jealous of me

**pipes** : no i didn’t even know i liked cisco remember

**babybibibi** : right

**captaincold** : yes

**spACEbar** : you do know that i love you

**irisbest** : i need popcorn

**bilance** : i have some already

**captaincold** : i love you too

**spACEbar** : great so you know id tell you if something were up

**captaincold** : of course

**spACEbar** : great 

**spACEbar** : so to summarize: eddie does not have a crush on me and his flirting was joking, if i led him on anyways i did not intend to and am sorry, i love leonard snart and he loves me and we’re good

**snowflake** : beautiful

**babybibibi** : she’s actually sobbing

**snowflake** : i’m on my period i’m allowed to sob

**irisbest** : oh girl you want some ice cream

**lesbianda** : i can bring some chick flicks

**bilance** : i have twenty yoga mats

**detectiveprettybi** : haha

**oliverqueer** : no she does

**pipes** : she really does

**babybibibi** : bold of y’all to assume i aint prepared for my gf’s period

**transco** : it’s true xe’s really good with that

**snowflake** : amen

**oliverqueer** : i for one am glad we resolved that drama

**captaincold** : are you assuming that im suddenly gonna like pretty bi bc lemme tell you

**heatwave** : still a cop

**captaincold** : not the point but still valid

**detectiveprettybi** : i can’t give up my greatest hobby

**spACEbar** : well i was trying you guys

**irisbest** : and you did great

**babybibibi** : yeah you did

**pipes** : you should enjoy your trip

**transco** : they should’ve enjoyed it generally

**pipes** : you know what i mean

**lesbianda** : also we all know they’re probably gonna livetext the trip anyways

**spACEbar** : hey i have never spammed y’all through an anxiety attack!

**snowflake** : that’s true

**snowflake** : if it helps though, feel free to hit any of us up

**spACEbar** : <3

**spACEbar** : ok now i gotta pack

**spACEbar** : see ya

**pipes** : they haven’t packed yet?

**irisbest** : no, bar is a late kinda guy

**babybibibi** : huh seems kinda ironic


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> national city is, in fact, gayer than previously assumed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got one for the young justice crowd there!

**babybibibi** : i feel like this is said weirdly often lately but

**babybibibi** : no break-down in the chat?

**pipes** : cisco and bar have rabbitted something together during the whole drive

**bilance** : gotta love rabbit

**lesbianda** : a lifesavior 

**oliverqueer** : what do you think how sulky is Snart gonna be

**irisbest** : very

**heatwave** : very

**bilance** : so sulky dude

**snowflake** : i sure hope so

**irisbest** : pray tell caitlin how do you like your otps

**irisbest** : slow burn?

**babybibibi** : you have no idea

**babybibibi** : cait’s your local sucker for fake dating roommates ‘god there’s just one bed’ au spiced with mutual pining

**pipes** : the best

**transco** : the worst

**lesbianda** : u guys literally were mutual pining without realizing

**bilance** : you also shared a bed ~platonically~

**irisbest** : they’re enemies to lovers personified

**detectiveprettybi** : i’ve always wanted to fake date someone

**detectiveprettybi** : action first and feelings later seems like such a Mood

**captaincold** : if only there were someone in the world to be up for that 

**detectiveprettybi** : you take a whole while for the “but unfortunately, you’re you” lead up

**captaincold** : wasnt coming

**captaincold** : i truly mean it when i say it’s a pity there’s noone who’d develop feelings for you as you hook up

**detectiveprettybi** : ….

**detectiveprettybi** : bc then i’d stop flirting with bar right

**irisbest** : yes absolutely that’s what he means

**lesbianda** : wait

**irisbest** : yeah i know snart’s still so jealous it’s insane

**transco** : i thought that one’s a slur

**detectiveprettybi** : well tough luck bc i can be an asshole too

**lesbianda** : wow

**bilance** : are you sure you’re physically able to be an asshole

**detectiveprettybi** : im a cop i gotta be

**transco** : doubt.png

**pipes** : SERIOUSLY is this like your thing

**pipes** : should i have known this before we started dating

**babybibibi** : he’s only done it like 5 times but ok

**pipes** : yeah but he’s the only one who does it

**lesbianda** : the audacity

**transco** : doubt.mp4

**pipes** : why

**transco** : because deep down i still hate you

**pipes** : i knew it

**irisbest** : hartley are you a masochist

**detectiveprettybi** : is that a secret

**heatwave** : kinky

**spACEbar** : [image attached]

**spACEbar** : hi

**transco** : BAR

**irisbest** : hi bar!!!

**lesbianda** : eye emoji

**captaincold** : hi babe

**pipes** : you look happy

**detectiveprettybi** : you enjoying yourself huh

**oliverqueer** : who are these people

**snowflake** : <3 hello

**spACEbar** : that’s kara, winn and alex

**spACEbar** : aka a few of national city’s Queer Folk™ 

**lesbianda** : pls introduce my gf to these ppl

**lesbianda** : also applaud the lesbian for the most butch haircut

**bilance** : srsly she’s hot

**spACEbar** : alex blushed

**spACEbar** : congrats to that she’s usually like a stone

**bilance** : :-D

**lesbianda** : patty the whole time “ugh there’s just one other lesbian in this town im going crazy”

**lesbianda** : bar: attracts a whole flock without even living there

**spACEbar** : that’s my personal skill

**transco** : thought that was being a sweetheart

**spACEbar** : aw

**spACEbar** : no but we’re going to this bar tomorrow and patty joins actually

**pipes** : a gay bar?

**spACEbar** : not officially

**spACEbar** : “but once we show up everyone else disappears anyway” ok winn

**oliverqueer** : they sound as chaotic as our group

**irisbest** : yeah

**spACEbar** : can you believe they did not meet under the premise of being gay

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**spACEbar** : kara and winn went to school together, alex is kara’s sister

**spACEbar** : kara’s cousin introduced her bf to her and her gf could have also come from that connection but didn’t

**spACEbar** : and winn’s bf was an exchange student

**bilance** : quick cisco photoshop the “same hat!!!” meme into “same story!!!”

**babybibibi** : kara is dating two people!!!!!

**snowflake** : my fiance, once again,

**transco** : [image attached]

**bilance** : fhfkfjfk you actually did that

**pipes** : ofc he did

**babybibibi** : it’s like you don’t even know him

**lesbianda** : patty is very excited about meeting you again

**spACEbar** : yeah she said so!!!

**spACEbar** : and me too!!

**spACEbar** : kara is also excited

**irisbest** : what’s the plan for today

**detectiveprettybi** : are you asking bar or everyone

**oliverqueer** : guess

**irisbest** : rolls eyes

**irisbest** : bar,

**spACEbar** : sushi and love simon later

**transco** : gasPS i thought we’d watch that together

**spACEbar** : DANG I FORGOT

**spACEbar** : but lbr i’ll probs watch it twenty times

**pipes** : mood

**irisbest** : it really doesnt freak out anybody that this one guy looks like wally

**transco** : doppelgänger

**lesbianda** : there’s an alternate reality where wally is an actor

**oliverqueer** : there’s an alternate reality where we all are fictional characters

**babybibibi** : damn oliver

**heatwave** : fuckin weird

**pipes** : no existential crises now

**bilance** : maybe wally IS secretly an actor

**spACEbar** : could’ve asked his actor friend for a few tips

**irisbest** : gar?

**irisbest** : nah that kid acts purely on instinct, there’s no tips to give when you have no method

**captaincold** : wally has an actor friend

**lesbianda** : oh you don’t know half of it

**babybibibi** : why do i feel like a lot of shit that linda knows has never actually been said to her

**lesbianda** : im here snooping

**pipes** : ofc u are

**transco** : shhhh im curious

**transco** : what is the whole that we only know half of

**spACEbar** : i’ll leave that to iris

**irisbest** : ofc u do

**spACEbar** : i have actual rl conversations to be a part of!!!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : case in point

**heatwave** : -_-

**pipes** : is that. A smiley

**bilance** : no that’s mick’s face now spill the beans

**irisbest** : sighs

**irisbest** : wally met gar when he visited our mom in the hospital

**irisbest** : bc gar was visiting his now-gf

**irisbest** : who is a princess

**babybibibi** : wait

**pipes** : define princess

**bilance** : are we talking literal now or

**irisbest** : we are

**lesbianda** : the wests have the best connections

**captaincold** : hold on

**captaincold** : you are telling me that wally is friends with a princess

**captaincold** : and he chooses to date two nobodies?

**transco** : snart is done

**detectiveprettybi** : well mick and sara went out and fucked billionaires and yet i see neither of them dating one

**pipes** : that’s really insensitive eddie mick is aromantic

**detectiveprettybi** : he’s also ace and that aint stopping him

**transco** : excuse you not every asexual person is sex-repulsed

**transco** : i hope you get that we’re exaggerating

**pipes** : but also we’re being real

**transco** : yeah we are

**detectiveprettybi** : i hate that you’re dating

**bilance** : gasp

**lesbianda** : how dare you

**babybibibi** : even i am shooketh

**heatwave** : so that princess aint single huh

**snowflake** : MICK xDDDD

**captaincold** : wait. Why was that princess in a hospital in central city

**irisbest** : keystone actually

**detectiveprettybi** : why was that princess in a hospital in keystone

**irisbest** : heart transplant

**transco** : oh shit

**captaincold** : but why keystone

**heatwave** : what’s she even princess of

**lesbianda** : im guessing something in europe

**lesbianda** : europe used to be like a thousand kingdoms

**bilance** : yeah she’s probably only got the title and some money but nothing to rule over

**captaincold** : but money

**oliverqueer** : good to know you haven’t changed completely snart

**bilance** : he still secretly freaks you out huh

**heatwave** : aint no secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, realizing this chapter takes place a day after love simon aired in the us: _heh_
> 
> speak of the devil, though, idk if i'll be able to upload on thursday. i have to spend 6 hours at this job interview thing in a city that requires me 2 1/2 hours until i'm there, so i'll only be home pretty late too. i have to present a book that means a lot to me, but that's only supposed to take 10mins at most, so ofc i chose simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. gonna wing that one lmao


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mortal combat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my job interview was postponed for a week, so y'all are getting a chapter! yay!

**spACEbar** : can you believe i only cried 5 times

**spACEbar** : GOD what a good movie

**spACEbar** : we all need to go watch it together

**pipes** : okay i know national city is in a different time zone

**pipes** : but?? Bar allen? Online and awake at 2 in the morning?

**spACEbar** : other question what are you doing awake at 4 in the morning

**pipes** : you know i have as much of a fucked up sleep schedule as anyone

**pipes** : unlike you

**spACEbar** : movie ended at 11 then we went to have chinese and also conversations!

**spACEbar** : lots of catching up!

**transco** : somehow i find it unlikely that you don’t permanently text those friends too

**pipes** : hi babe

**transco** : hi <3

**spACEbar** : hal kara and i have a groupchat but  i don’t talk enough with the others

**pipes** : wait you’re not with this hal guy right

**transco** : no he’s in coast city, bar and kara go there next week

**pipes** : ah.

**spACEbar** : anyway im swamped! I’ll go to bed but yeah let it be known we’re gonna have a group hang

**transco** : insert crazy ex girlfriend lyrics here

**pipes** : wow you’re not even typing the words

**pipes** : cisquito go to bed too

**transco** : [salutes]

**babybibibi** : bar/hartmon = squad goals

**lesbianda** : we been knew

**lesbianda** : also can we get hartmon a sleeping schedule

**oliverqueer** : at least they’re in sync

**detectiveprettybi** : Bold of you to assume that hart didn’t stay up for three more hours

**babybibibi** : or sco for that matter

**bilance** : i did meet hartley at 7 this morning

**bilance** : though whether that means he’ll be sleeping in…

**babybibibi** : why were you awake at 7

**bilance** : packing

**lesbianda** : eager are you

**bilance** : !!!!!!! im flying in 24 hours!!!!!!

**captaincold** : you’ve seen your girlfriend on christmas

**bilance** : oh eXCUSE ME it’s not LIKE OTHERs can see theIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS ALL THE TIME

**lesbianda** : preach it girl

**babybibibi** : im excited for you

**bilance** : thanks

**irisbest** : it’s like your compensating the time that bar started packing too late

**irisbest** : i admire you

**detectiveprettybi** : you know what i just realized

**detectiveprettybi** : sara you’re gonna miss my birthday

**bilance** : oh no!

**bilance** : damn i did not realize that

**babybibibi** : do you have any special plans @ eddie

**detectiveprettybi** : nah just a little get together at the quiver

**detectiveprettybi** : already got the request passed

**irisbest** : you what now

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah you have to like file something like this in the quiver groupchat

**lesbianda** : omg seriously

**irisbest** : i can’t believe we didn’t know this

**pipes** : we all had to sign a contract when we moved in

**babybibibi** : w h a t

**oliverqueer** : laurel’s doing

**captaincold** : hey pipes you live

**pipes** : yup, turns out two hours of sleep is the perfect amount

**snowflake** : no it’s not!

**babybibibi** : i swear she picked up her phone randomly in the very moment that your message arrived

**lesbianda** : cait has the best superpower

**pipes** : cisco still asleep? 

**pipes** : ill kick him out of bed with some breakfast big belly’s

**captaincold** : you want a ride?

**pipes** : with the bike?

**captaincold** : obviously

**pipes** : HELL YES

**babybibibi** : he’s been dreaming of it

**captaincold** : why’d he never ask

**snowflake** : fear

**captaincold** : good

**detectiveprettybi** : anyway, here’s an official invitation to celebrate my birthday at the quiver. We’ll have alcohol, food, gossip and probably a movie

**babybibibi** : im gonna live up to my username now and ask if we also have a 90s playlist

**detectiveprettybi** : hart and lisa are gonna take care of that

**irisbest** : sweet

**snowflake** : im excited! I feel like we haven’t been at the quiver since forever

**irisbest** : oh hartley wally asks if you forgot you wanted to meet up with him (what?)

**bilance** : he’s already left the house

**bilance** : think snart has been speeding

**oliverqueer** : dangerous life

**irisbest** : my dad will kill him

**babybibibi** : on the bright side your text will be read soon

**lesbianda** : hart and wally are hanging out so much lately

**heatwave** : same mentality

**snowflake** : i don’t even know if this was supposed to be an insult

**snowflake** : they ARE close in age

**lesbianda** : are they still trying to create that fuel

**irisbest** : think so

**pipes** : YEAH WE ARE

**pipes** : DAMN I FORGOT

**pipes** : lol nevermind we’re all coming over later

**irisbest** : who now

**captaincold** : im bringing pipes and cisco around

**bilance** : oh dear

**irisbest** : imma warn dad

**transco** : rude :/

**spACEbar** : you cant all hang out at my home when im not there!!!

**pipes** : no we can look at us

**spACEbar** : :(

**lesbianda** : hey youre hanging out with my gf tonight

**spACEbar** : youre right!!!

**transco** : im just getting dressed and then we’re on the road!

**irisbest** : dad: [sighs]

**lesbianda** : that’s a sign of love

**captaincold** : Square up west you still have a game to lose 

**irisbest** : you mean YOU have to lose

**babybibibi** : wait what game

**heatwave** : scrabble 

**oliverqueer** : you know that’s the best possible game I could picture for these two

**bilance** : i don’t say this lightly but: agreed

**oliverqueer** : fuck u

**bilance** : :*

**transco** : okay we’re leaving

**detectiveprettybi** : joe do they even fit

**irisbest** : joe

**oliverqueer** : joe

**bilance** : joe 

**babybibibi** : joe 

**spACEbar** : joe

**snowflake** : joe

**detectiveprettybi** : goddammit

**heatwave** : sidecar

**detectiveprettybi** : Mick You’re the only person I Trust 

**oliverqueer** : sketchy

**irisbest** : now if you’ll excuse me I will destroy Leonard Snart in the following hour

**lesbianda** : youre gonna take ages like the pretentious bitches u are

**snowflake** : when did Linda start calling people bitches

**bilance** : micks doing I bet 

**lesbianda** : honestly might be

**heatwave** : ya

**spACEbar** : I can’t believe this happens when I’m not there

**transco** : [image attached]

**transco** : look at joes pissed expression

**babybibibi** : a mood

**transco** : and here’s some babies:

**transco** : [image attached]

**detectiveprettybi** : they look like they’re conspiring

**bilance** : wally and hartley? very likely actually 

**transco** : yeah tru

**spACEbar** : I’m currently making the group watch queer eye

**spACEbar** : only the inner circle tho

**snowflake** : who’s the inner circle

**spACEbar** : Kara, Alex, Winn and James 

**oliverqueer** : i binged it the other day with tommy

**detectiveprettybi** : did you now

**spACEbar** : Winn is really into jvn it’s funny 

**oliverqueer** : Tommy said Antoni kinda looks like hartley

**spACEbar** : I…

**spACEbar** : I need to think about this

**transco** : ah I heard the first “THATS NOT EVEN A WORD”

**transco** : “CODE WORDS DONT COUNT” - “THEY /ARE/ WORDS” - “THEYRE MADE UP” - “ALL WORDS ARE MADE UP” - “DAD”

**bilance** : classic 

**transco** : Wally just excused himself to make a call and hart just 

**transco** : [image attached] 

**snowflake** : “2 hours of sleep are enough” - hartley Rathaway, coincidentally 2 hours before falling asleep

**heatwave** : classic

**lesbianda** : cute 

**spACEbar** : Alex gave me a stern look so pls excuse me

**spACEbar** : and tell me if Iris and Snart kill each other

**transco** : will do have fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was written before the flash ep where the westallens play scrabble but im v happy that iris is, in fact, the person who'd call out others for making up words.
> 
> also, my friend lured me into watching queer eye by saying antoni looks like andy mientus and you guys know me, i'm a simple gay


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> linda is angry at bar and sara is out there ruining ppl's lives

**lesbianda** : BARTHOLOMEW HENRY ALLEN

**transco** : ohhhhh full name

**irisbest** : you’re screwed

**lesbianda** : ITS ELEVEN PM OVER THERE I KNOW YOU AINT ASLEEP YET

**spACEbar** : PATTY ALREADY YELLED AT ME

**lesbianda** : YEAH BUT I NEED TO DO IT TOO

**lesbianda** : I HAVE MORE RIGHT TO DO IT THAN HER

**transco** : What the hap is fuckening

**spACEbar** : hey so how did that scrabble go,,,,

**transco** : pfff

**lesbianda** : YOUR FRIEND KARA IS THE FUCKING PERSONAL ASSISTANT OF CAT FUCKING GRANT

**lesbianda** : AND YOU THOUGHT IT WASNT WORTH MENTIONING 

**lesbianda** : I CANT BELIEVE YOUD DO THIS TO ME

**lesbianda** : YOU HAVE AN ENEMY FOR LIFE NOW

**spACEbar** : I HAD NO IDEA

**spACEbar** : ITS NOT LIKE I EVEN KNEW WHO CAT GRANT IS

**lesbianda** : GASPS

**lesbianda** : HOW THE FUCK

**irisbest** : WAIT

**irisbest** : KARA IS WHAT NOW

**captaincold** : babe what the fuck

**spACEbar** : DO /YOU/ KNOW

**captaincold** : ofc I do 

**heatwave** : isn’t she like Linda’s biggest idol

**lesbianda** : DAMN RIGHT 

**lesbianda** : LOOK EVEN THE KATY PERRY SONG KNOWS

**spACEbar** : IM SORRY

**spACEbar** : I THINK SHE‘D ONLY SAID FOR WHOM SHE WORKS LIKE ONCE AGES AGO

**lesbianda** : YOURE NOT NOSY ENOUGH

**lesbianda** : I TAUGHT YOU BETTER

**spACEbar** : IM SORRY

**lesbianda** : you’re forgiven bc I know you truly regret it

**lesbianda** : still, WHAT THE HELL

**spACEbar** : I’m really sorry!!!! I’ll try to get something out of this for you

**spACEbar** : also patty and Alex bonded tbh

**spACEbar** : and Alex miiiiight be into patty’s co-worker

**lesbianda** : ohhhhhhh

**irisbest** : is that the only other lesbian that patty knows

**lesbianda** : you got it

**transco** : Gay, I like it

**spACEbar** : anyway who won scrabble 

**captaincold** : undecided as of now

**transco** : Wally took a picture of the board so they could continue another time

**transco** : joe had enough after three hours

**spACEbar** : sounds legit

**transco** : also hart is still sleeping on the couch

**transco** : were just leaving him there

**spACEbar** : lol

**lesbianda** : lol

**irisbest** : lol

**transco** : lol

**bilance** : okay You fuckers idk about you but some people have to be at the airport at 7am so if you’d PLEASE shut the hell up

**captaincold** : put your phone on silent

**bilance** : it’s on vibrate

**captaincold** : kinky

**bilance** : anyway YALL SHUT UP AND GO TO BED

**transco** : I’m not even tired

**bilance** : go watch a whole sci-fi series I don’t care now let me sleep

**detectiveprettybi** : lol i cant believe even Snart listened to you

**transco** : Sara is VERY intimidating ok

**oliverqueer** : cisco are you STILL awake

**transco** : Nope i did leave when Sara shouted

**detectiveprettybi** : why are you awake already then

**transco** : morning shift

**bilance** : cisco you don’t have a job

**transco** : no I’m working at Julio’s for three weeks 

**transco** : and since I didn’t wanna miss group activities I said to give me breakfast shifts

**oliverqueer** : i didn’t know you were secretly a waiter

**transco** : nah I’m not you just have to be able to pronounce the dishes properly so they already wanted to hire me when they read my name alone

**detectiveprettybi** : iconic

**oliverqueer** : now we know where to get breakfast instead of big belly’s

**transco** : please no I want my peace 

**detectiveprettybi** : rude

**bilance** : he’s bitchy bc he’s gotta drive me to the airport

**bilance** : wanted to make dig do it but he just glared at him

**oliverqueen** : im just saying, i still pay him

**detectiveprettybi** : YOUR MOM still pays him

**transco** : i love that it looks like a yo mama joke but is actually the truth

**pipes** : like we said, oliver’s paying ppl to be his friends

**transco** : again, he’s letting you stay at his house for free, don’t fuck with him,

**bilance** : insert comment about how that’s also ollie buying ppl’s love

**bilance** : kidding ollie we love you for your great personality

**transco** : are you saying this so he doesn’t kick you out the car

**pipes** : no so that she can get inside the car

**transco** : makes sense

**detectiveprettybi** : cisco say bye bc sara is leaving now

**transco** : bye sara!!!!!! I hope you have a grEAT TIME

**bilance** : thank you cisco!!!!!

**bilance** : i hope your first day is alright!

**transco** : ah i’ve jobbed here before

**detectiveprettybi** : look at you go

**detectiveprettybi** : anyway, desk duty here i come

**pipes** : they will never let him out on the street

**transco** : nope not if he continues to be Like That

**transco** : how was sleeping on the west’s couch

**pipes** : i woke up disoriented at 4am, so thanks for that

**pipes** : i’ve cleaned the whole quiver already

**transco** : you know where my key is, please continue

**pipes** : my love for you is not big enough

**heatwave** : is your dick tho

**transco** : um

**snowflake** : WHAT

**transco** : hah i know hartley’s sleep schedule is OUTRAGEOUS

**captaincold** : not what she meant

**captaincold** : l word

**transco** : i KNOW it’s NOT what she MEANT

**transco** : let me distract in any means that i want okay

**captaincold** : sure you do you

**bilance** : OH WAIT I CAN HELP

**bilance** : here is my last text on american grounds:

**bilance** : SNART GOT A JOB OFFER

**snowflake** : SNART GOT WHAT

**spACEbar** : whAT

**transco** : do you have a snart alert on your phone wtf

**pipes** : seriously it’s like half past four over there

**heatwave** : u literally said you woke up at 4

**pipes** : yeah but im me

**spACEbar** : back to the topic

**spACEbar** : LEN?

**captaincold** : fuck you lance

**captaincold** : it was NOT a job offer

**snowflake** : what happened

**captaincold** : for fuck’s sake

**captaincold** : sara and i went to the museum on saturday, some random brit caught me ranting and chatted me up

**captaincold** : and then he reveals he’s the curator and shit

**pipes** : that’s so random

**captaincold** : yeah i thought he’d reveal something else with that coat of his you feel

**transco** : kinky

**spACEbar** : and then? He offered you a JOB?

**captaincold** : no

**captaincold** : he just said they could use guides with enthusiasm

**pipes** : enthusiasm is a thing i’d never have connected to snart not gonna lie

**snowflake** : no he’s enthusiastic about bar

**snowflake** : and sci-fi

**transco** : best traits

**spACEbar** : and now????

**captaincold** : why are you even awake babe seriously

**spACEbar** : if only i knew

**captaincold** : he gave me his card

**snowflake** : u need to call him!!!!!!!

**captaincold** : i dont need to do anything

**spACEbar** : you should consider it

**captaincold** : bar, i have been arrested for theft i doubt someone would hire me to stand amongst prized possessions

**captaincold** : and it’s not even been “a past life” it was literally half a year ago

**spACEbar** : im calling you now

**lesbianda** : SNART WHAT

**pipes** : shh he’s on the phone

**babybibibi** : ok i know you spent the night at the wests’ but like…. Did you get alcohol somewhere

**pipes** : nope i’m just incredibly entertained

**heatwave** : go have a quickie with the small one before he has to leave

**pipes** : i think i will

**lesbianda** : you know every time i think this group can’t get wilder

**irisbest** : why the fuck have you all been awake so early 

**oliverqueer** : i think i’m definitely the wrong person to say this but some people have work

**irisbest** : jokes on you im starting at jitters next month

**oliverqueer** : wow!

**irisbest** : soon you’re the only unemployed person in this group

**babybibibi** : billionaire playboy IS his job

**oliverqueer** : it is a certified job, just ask bruce 

**irisbest** : bruce promotes shit on his instagram

**babybibibi** : i believe he does it for free

**irisbest** : he better do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "but yas you forgot to mention the connection between kara and lois lane!!!! linda will flip!!!!" yeah, she still got a few chapters of peace, leave her be


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fandoms, yo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise update!!!!! my job interview day thing was more pleasant and less tiring than i thought, so here i am at 9pm blessing us all with the randomness of this group

**spACEbar** : “this is John but we spent a whole year being convinced he’s called hank so don’t be confused when someone calls him that”

**spACEbar** : this is a whole different earth here

**spACEbar** : “just call him papa bear, you know shit about surrogate father figures” WINN HDKFKFKFL

**babybibibi** : I feel like he’d get along well with Cisco

**babybibibi** : they both seem to like putting their foot in their mouth

**spACEbar** : honestly it’s okay but still dhrjfnfkkg

**lesbianda** : do you have more gossip for us

**spACEbar** : their dating histories are pretty wild

**detectiveprettybi** : are they wilder than Oliver’s

**oliverqueer** : hey!

**irisbest** : Don’t lie to yourself Ollie

**spACEbar** : well

**spACEbar** : Winn used to have a crush on Kara but then figured he only talked himself into it bc she was always so nice and stuff (and he thought he was straight HAH)

**spACEbar** : and then he noticed something was up and hooked up with the new guy at work

**spACEbar** : but now said Guy is Kara’s bf and Winn is dating someone entirely new

**snowflake** : oh this is like in a Shadowhunters fanfiction where Simon realizes he doesn’t actually like clary that way and hooks up with jace but then jace falls for clary and Simon and Raphael start to date

**transco** : clizzy > clace tho

**babybibibi** : obviously 

**irisbest** : Bar doesn’t like Shadowhunters 

**spACEbar** : somehow it reminds me of high school

**irisbest** : Bar didn’t like high school

**oliverqueer** : i liked high school

**bilance** : yeah bc your ass was dating me in high school

**bilance** : also hi guys thanks for asking I landed in safety and Nyssa and I impersonated rabbits the whole night

**spACEbar** : That…. wasn’t necessary

**spACEbar** : but I’m happy for you?

**oliverqueer** : high school was way better than middle school

**captaincold** : just bc you were at a pretentious boarding school for rich ppl and those suck

**oliverqueer** : how do you know that

**captaincold** : ;)

**oliverqueer** : anyway I deeply regret MY behavior during middle school 

**bilance** : i do not know anything about your middle school experience eye emoji

**oliverqueer** : Let’s say it’s where my feud with lex began

**irisbest** : omg did you BULLY lex luthor when you were 12

**snowflake** : are you James Potter and Severus Snape just without the love triangle 

**lesbianda** : lemme step in right here guys

**lesbianda** : we had a great run for half a year let’s not ruin this with that discussion

**lesbianda** : i do NOT want to find out I talked to a Snape apologist all along

**lesbianda** : so now Sara tell me about your girlfriend

**bilance** : im so in love with her

**bilance** : she’s so soft

**bilance** : but also not

**bilance** : i want to put her in my suitcase and bring her home 

**heatwave** : whipped

**bilance** : WHAT ABOUT IT

**irisbest** : otp 4 lyfe

**lesbianda** : ^

**snowflake** : y e s

**transco** : hey Cait: olicity, Nyssara or Captain space

**babybibibi** : jokes on you it’s US you asshole

**snowflake** : yeah my own relationship is my otp #1

**babybibibi** : you wanted to be number one? Shouldn’t have gotten out of it

**transco** : Jesus

**babybibibi** : im hiking 

**babybibibi** : *joking 

**pipes** : you know hiking could’ve also explained your weird behavior

**snowflake** : yeah lol

**detectiveprettybi** : guys I’ve done it

**irisbest** : oh god what have you done

**detectiveprettybi** : why does this sound like an accusation

**snowflake** : what have you done!!!!! :D

**detectiveprettybi** : thanks cait

**detectiveprettybi** : i basically came out to Singh [shrug emoji]

**oliverqueer** : you did what now

**detectiveprettybi** : i asked if I could put up some posters about safe spaces bc it’s a personal concern

**detectiveprettybi** : and he gave me the Nod™️

**transco** : ohhhhh the Nod™️

**snowflake** : what nod???

**bilance** : The Nod™️!

**babybibibi** : The ‘I recognize you as a fellow member of the rainbow’ Nod™️ babe you wouldn’t know it

**bilance** : i can’t believe you literally became the rosa diaz to singh’s holt

**captaincold** : excuse you he’s got nothing on rosa

**transco** : honestly ofc snart’d be into rosa

**lesbianda** : everyone is into rosa

**pipes** : as a gay guy into rosa i can confirm

**transco** : same 

**spACEbar** : even I am into Rosa

**oliverqueer** : no surprise bar

**irisbest** : yeah 

**babybibibi** : rosa is a female Snart 

**captaincold** : glad you recognize that

**detectiveprettybi** : i should put a bi flag on my desk

**bilance** : ohhhhh sweet

**babybibibi** : Noice

**transco** : toit 

**heatwave** : enough fandom talk for the day

**heatwave** : enough texting 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: [makes glee reference by making a shadowhunters reference]  
> also, in smallville oliver and luxor attended high school together, oliver bullied lex a lot and in the end they got a fellow student killed. you know, like high school works.  
> ALSO. linda's words are me y'all. i don't want to here ANYTHING about the hp situation mentioned there. guys, we've known each other for one and a half years, don't ruin it. i mean it.
> 
>  
> 
> if you want more fitting comparisons between the arrowverse and brooklyn nine-nine, i very much recommend you read doctormissy's series "[the eyes emoji squad](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1242824)". it started out as a canon-compliant (but still gay as hell) legends of tomorrow chatfic, but now it includes pretty much every dctv there is. and it's so good and very very in character and funny and i love it. it's my fav fic at the moment. please give sofie some love!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> i swear these notes are longer than the entire chapter


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oliver has news!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is for the person who claimed i must really hate oliver. i totally do. man do i hate the guy, hope he's dead in a ditch

**bilance** : [image attached]

**bilance** : look at the boys go

**lesbianda** : that is a staged pic if i’ve ever seen one

**transco** : why are they shaking hands

**irisbest** : and why did sara receive this pic before us when she’s not even on the same CONTINENT

**bilance** : bc my sister took this

**bilance** : OLIVER

**pipes** : he can’t hear your yelling

**transco** : ronnie really needs to tell wells to tell HR to include an @ feature

**spACEbar** : ronnie isn’t an owl!

**transco** : nice one

**spACEbar** : :)

**oliverqueer** : WHAT

**bilance** : i told you sCROLL UP

**lesbianda** : did you really call him just so he’d check the chat

**bilance** : since none of you came up with the brilliant idea

**irisbest** : could’ve told us and saved your phone bill

**bilance** : ehhh tommy’s paying it anyway

**pipes** : serIOUSLY?

**pipes** : why do i have to pay mine!!!!

**babybibibi** : oh no

**transco** : yep he’s doing it

**pipes** : im a poor homeless deaf gay guy!!!! Someone should pay for mine!!

**spACEbar** : he did it

**lesbianda** : ofc he did

**irisbest** : anyway oliver spill the beans

**bilance** : what’s that picture

**oliverqueer** : it’s tommy and me why

**lesbianda** : but why do you shake your hands like that

**irisbest** : why does it look like you’ve just done a blood oath

**detectiveprettybi** : GASP did you beCOME BLOOD BROTHERS

**spACEbar** : oh no

**transco** : wait for it

**detectiveprettybi** : first sharing semen and now blood

**pipes** : and he did it

**babybibibi** : we really have catchphrases huh

**oliverqueer** : it’s

**oliverqueer** : okay fine big announcement

**oliverqueer** : we bought the building

**detectiveprettybi** : YOU DID WHAT

**irisbest** : the scary one????

**transco** : the one at the end of the world you looked at

**oliverqueer** : yes

**pipes** : so is it becoming a gay bar now!!!

**oliverqueer** : yeah about that

**oliverqueer** : no it isn’t

**babybibibi** : wow rude

**spACEbar** : damn

**oliverqueer** : listen if two billionaires opened a gay bar then saints & sinners would soon have no guests left 

**oliverqueer** : and i actually like that place and don’t want it to close down bc of me

**irisbest** : huh

**oliverqueer** : BUT

**transco** : oh i love the but

**heatwave** : probably also the butt

**babybibibi** : u know it

**snowflake** : shhh

**detectiveprettybi** : im saving that eye emoji for later

**bilance** : please continue oliver im at the edge of my seat

**lesbianda** : i doubt that

**oliverqueer** : our opening night will be a gala for the LGBT foundation bc mom was bugging me about that anyways

**oliverqueer** : it’s on the 7th

**transco** : ALREADY

**detectiveprettybi** : THAT’S THE DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY

**snowflake** : THAT’S TWO DAYS BEFORE THE SEMESTER STARTS

**lesbianda** : HOW DO YOU WANNA BUILD A WHOLE CLUB UNTIL THEN

**oliverqueer** : it’s two weeks chill

**oliverqueer** : we hired ppl right away

**irisbest** : THIS IS SO BIG AND YOU JUST GO “WE HIRED PPL RIGHT AWAY”

**irisbest** : WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

**oliverqueer** : this morning

**oliverqueer** : tommy insisted laurel take a pic ‘so we could hang it up later’

**bilance** : jesus do you even have a name yet

**oliverqueer** : yes. Verdant

**captaincold** : you… are calling your nightclub ‘green’

**bilance** : it’s both his and tommy’s fav colour

**detectiveprettybi** : you have the same favourite colour????????

**detectiveprettybi** : i swear if tommy weren’t straight you’d be married

**irisbest** : im actually so surprised they didn’t get married while drunk already

**bilance** : close call one time

**babybibibi** : ofc

**lesbianda** : oliver i hope you know that ill be reporting on that night

**oliverqueer** : i hope you do

**oliverqueer** : actually we were wondering if you wanted to become the press person for the foundation

**lesbianda** : WAIT WHAT

**irisbest** : oh god she’s probably crying

**lesbianda** : DON’T YOU HAVE LIKE PRESS PEOPLE FROM QC

**lesbianda** : I’M JUST 

**lesbianda** : WHAT

**oliverqueer** : why would i choose a random person when i have a capable lesbian reporter among my friends

**lesbianda** : MAYBE NOT LESBIAN ANY MORE BC I HAVE TO MARRY THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

**lesbianda** : HOLY CRAP

**spACEbar** : that’s so nice oh my god

**babybibibi** : cait started crying

**irisbest** : SHE DESERVES IT

**detectiveprettybi** : SHE DOES

**heatwave** : she really does

**lesbianda** : MICK :’):’):’)

**lesbianda** : okay we need to take care of your website like the link on the QC site is fine but

**lesbianda** : we need spice! And glitter! And pink!

**oliverqueer** : woah okay let’s just chill for the moment

**oliverqueer** : come over to the quiver tomorrow or something and we can talk about it

**bilance** : you sure you won’t have to talk to your mom about it

**oliverqueer** : we’ll call her or otherwise she shall send the heli idc

**irisbest** : you’re so fucking pretentious

**pipes** : wait so who’s invited to that gala

**lesbianda** : OH BAR

**lesbianda** : DON’T YOU DARE TELL PATTY

**lesbianda** : I’M GOING TO CALL HER RIGHT NOW

**spACEbar** : isn’t she working

**lesbianda** : RIGHT

**lesbianda** : NOW

**lesbianda** : also oliver dear is this gonna be volunteer work or paid

**oliverqueer** : we’ll talk about that

**lesbianda** : nice

**oliverqueer** : anyway all of you are invited of course, then some huge supporters, other press ppl, business partners of my mom’s….

**bilance** : WAIT

**bilance** : I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING

**bilance** : I’M NOT BACK BY THEN

**detectiveprettybi** : NOOOO

**babybibibi** : nooo the bi (al)l(i)ance!!!

**bilance** : ok seriously your game is getting better im so proud

**bilance** : anyway

**bilance** : DAMN OLIVER YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE

**oliverqueer** : i most certainly did not

**oliverqueer** : you were the first out person in my life why would i purposefully outvite you

**bilance** : wow that was kinda sweet im :’)

**spACEbar** : oliver is so good today

**irisbest** : oliver, are you, perhaps, happy

**oliverqueer** : listen i HAVE A CLUB

**oliverqueer** : is it in the worst neighbourhood? Yes

**oliverqueer** : still, was this my life dream? Also yes

**oliverqueer** : so! Yes i might be happy

**snowflake** : aw :’D :’D :’D

**captaincold** : this is… acceptable

**transco** : aw snart you big old softie

**pipes** : we’re being really soft today

**captaincold** : yeah, enough of this

**spACEbar** : you know us, never

**babybibibi** : we do only seem to have two settings: soft and savage

**bilance** : i hate the word ‘savage’

**bilance** : and i can’t believe oliver would do this to me

**oliverqueer** : im sorry i didn’t think

**captaincold** : do you ever

**pipes** : aaaaaaaaaand we’re back to normal

**snowflake** : yay!


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ronnie has exciting news, linda has a mental breakdown and we have a guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im posting this while i watch smallville so im giggling a lot, you'll see why

**babybibibi** : here’s a weird thing: 

**babybibibi** : [image attached]

**spACEbar** : ok i thought i had something weirder but i don’t

**pipes** : what the

**pipes** : HARRISON WELLS invITED yOU TO HIS HOME????

**transco** : i feel like it reads like his wife did it

**pipes** : babe this is really not my concern

**babybibibi** : I WAS INVITED TO HARRISON WELLS’ HOME

**spACEbar** : yeah we read

**irisbest** : ‘easter get-together’

**irisbest** : what kinda white ppl stuff

**lesbianda** : well do you want to go

**bilance** : im really into this but i also need to sleep we’re going hiking tomorrow

**bilance** : phone: on silent

**spACEbar** : bye sara!

**babybibibi** : i mean? Isn’t that weird

**babybibibi** : i can’t just go to a professor’s house can i

**lesbianda** : 1) you are invited

**lesbianda** : 2) you are his TA so you’re basically being paid to be his best friend

**pipes** : like dig and oliver

**transco** : you could ask if you can move in

**pipes** : cisquito,

**transco** : i was joking

**babybibibi** : good

**babybibibi** : anyway i’m? Idk

**spACEbar** : that is commonly called nervosity or even anxiety

**irisbest** : fhfjgfhgk bar

**spACEbar** : it is true

**pipes** : ronnie, you can hit the jackpot there

**pipes** : just think about it

**babybibibi** : i will not find out for you if harry really is straight 

**lesbianda** : i can’t believe this

**babybibibi** : you have a boyfrIEND

**transco** : the boyfriend is interested too tho

**heatwave** : aint like he’s gonna have a threesome with you

**transco** : shhh let us dream

**detectiveprettybi** : hartmon are only together so they can thirst over ppl together

**pipes** : pretty sure there’s other reasons too

**irisbest** : i think you should go ronnie

**irisbest** : it seems sweet!

**transco** : you should definitely go

**lesbianda** : ya be nosy

**spACEbar** : this could be connection making!

**detectiveprettybi** : wait are you celebrating easter yourself? Aren’t mormons like SUPER christians

**babybibibi** : for the billionth time, my parents aren’t mormons

**detectiveprettybi** : are you sure

**babybibibi** : prettY SURE?

**lesbianda** : hey bar what’s happening over in national

**spACEbar** : not much rn tbh

**spACEbar** : kara and james are on the phone with kara’s cousin, it’s a huge deal apaprently

**spACEbar** : he’s very busy? And also james’ best friend

**irisbest** : you know, i was thinking

**irisbest** : and i’m only connecting random dots here

**pipes** : translates to: i was gossiping with snart

**transco** : yeah when the hell did you two become bffs

**irisbest** : linda has mick as her sidepiece, let me have snart

**spACEbar** : weird but continue

**irisbest** : so kara works at catco

**irisbest** : and her bf is called james

**irisbest** : does he also work at catco?

**spACEbar** : huh yeah actually

**spACEbar** : he’s a photographer

**lesbianda** : WAIT

**spACEbar** : oh no

**lesbianda** : BAR

**transco** : what did you do now

**lesbianda** : IS THAT JIMMY OLSEN

**spACEbar** : … i fucked up

**lesbianda** : JIMMY OLSEN WHO PREVIOUSLY WORKED AT THE DAILY PLANET

**spACEbar** : i feel like i really fucked up

**irisbest** : omg that’s eXACTLY WHAT WE FIGURED

**lesbianda** : wait let me check something before i rip you a new one

**spACEbar** : im moving to canada

**spACEbar** : i heard vancouver is nice

**lesbianda** : OKAY

**lesbianda** : YOU KNOW WHO FUCKING IS JIMMY OLSEN’S BEST FRIEND

**spACEbar** : ummmm winn is one of those

**lesbianda** : CLARK KENT

**irisbest** : CLARK KENT?

**lesbianda** : CLARK KENT

**irisbest** : C L A R K   K E N T

**pipes** : who the fuck is clark kent

**lesbianda** : LOIS LANE’S BOYFRIEND THAT’S WHO

**lesbianda** : ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT NOT ONLY YOUR FRIEND KARA IS WORKING FOR CAT GRANT

**lesbianda** : BUT HER COUSIN IS DATING LOIS FUCKING LANE

**spACEbar** : i…. Might be

**transco** : that name rings a bell

**irisbest** : ‘that name rings a bell’ he says

**irisbest** : listen lois lane is a feminist goddess

**lesbianda** : lois lane is the greatest woman in the universe

**lesbianda** : she’s strong and independent, has her own head and doesn’t take shit from noone

**pipes** : sounds like you

**lesbianda** : AW

**irisbest** : she’s also linda’s BIGGEST idol

**detectiveprettybi** : i thought that was cat grant,,,

**lesbianda** : no if cat is a 10 then lois is a 15

**transco** : im guessing she’s a reporter

**lesbianda** : yOURE GUESSING

**irisbest** : yes she is, went from high school paper directly to daily planet, it’s a story for history books

**spACEbar** : that does sound impressive

**lesbianda** : AND YOU’RE SITTING THERE WITH HER BOYFRIEND’S COUSIN

**lesbianda** : HAS SHE EVER MET HER

**spACEbar** : i? Guess i’ll ask?

**spACEbar** : so this is the friend group!

**spACEbar** : HI

**spACEbar** : so who’s flipping out at barry

**lesbianda** : ME HELLO

**lesbianda** : NOW KARA,,,,

**spACEbar** : you’re patty’s girlfriend!!!!! She loves you SO MUCH!

**irisbest** : you truly still are a sunshine huh

**spACEbar** : IRIS

**spACEbar** : HOW ARE YOU!!!

**lesbianda** : KARA WAIT

**lesbianda** : YOUR COUSIN IS CLARK KENT?

**spACEbar** : hhhhhhhhhhh

**spACEbar** : yeah i know ppl do love his columns

**spACEbar** : it’s kinda annoying but they’re very wholesome!

**pipes** : gal she’s a lesbian she ain’t interested in your cousin

**transco** : nope she’s thirsty for his gf

**spACEbar** : LOIS

**spACEbar** : lois is GREAT

**babybibibi** : how did we go to this 

**babybibibi** : when it started with my crisis

**spACEbar** : you have a crisis? I heard women are better at dealing with crises so if you aren’t one you should ask one for help

**pipes** : i love when people know the correct plural of specific words

**transco** : babe literally everyone knows the plural of crisis is crises

**spACEbar** : people who don’t know english don’t

**pipes** : je t’aime

**transco** : oh so now you go around and just say that to everyone

**pipes** : si no quieres que yo vaya a gente  al azar…....

**transco** : cariño tú sabes que lo no es así

**spACEbar** : woah i don’t understand a single word 

**spACEbar** : is it always like this

**babybibibi** : usually not in spanish

**irisbest** : imma google translate

**lesbianda** : go be nosy for me i still need to finish this

**lesbianda** : SO KARA.

**lesbianda** : AM I CORRECT IF I ASSUME YOU TALK TO LOIS LANE

**lesbianda** : AND CAT GRANT

**spACEbar** : obviously?

**lesbianda** : are they as pretty as i think

**spACEbar** : SO pretty 

**spACEbar** : you have no idea

**spACEbar** : I HAVE AN IDEA

**spACEbar** : do you want to have Lois’ number 

**lesbianda** : JFFLFKFKFHEK

**lesbianda** : I????

**lesbianda** : WHAT WOULD I EVEN SAY

**lesbianda** : THATS WEIRD 

**spACEbar** : come to think of it yeah probably

**lesbianda** : but if you could, like, mention me to her,,,,

**lesbianda** : Linda Park of parkthoughts.blogger and also press person of the LGBT foundation of Queen Consolidated

**irisbest** : damn you got that down girl

**transco** : slay

 

**captaincold** has left the chat

 

**spACEbar** : oh dear!

**pipes** : what

**spACEbar** : was that my fault?

**irisbest** : Kara be a lad and give Bar the phone back

**babybibibi** : Snart???

**spACEbar** : wait who

**spACEbar** : oh shit

**irisbest** : Yeah.

**spACEbar** : on it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T SHOUT AT ME


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another visitor!

**transco** : why the fuck

**pipes** : what’s happEning

**lesbianda** : i guess Bar is talking to him

**lesbianda** : still Snart you bitch you can’t just ruin my moment here

**lesbianda** : dramatic ass

**oliverqueer** : wait whatwhy did Snart leave

**babybibibi** : that’s what we’re trying to find out u doofus

**detectiveprettybi** : i bet he’s sulky

**bilance** : I take it that someone leaving the chat is not a common occurrence.

**irisbest** : eye emoji

**lesbianda** : hello…… Nyssa?

**bilance** : Yes, that’s me.

**bilance** : Sara was mistaken when she thought she put her phone on silence; the volume was merely turned down by large amount. But you hear it when it’s the middle of the night and everything is quiet.

**bilance** : Except Sara, of course. She is still quite worn out.

**detectiveprettybi** : u Tiger

**transco** : NYSSA

**transco** : big fan of urs hello

**bilance** : Why would a transportation company be a fan of me?

**pipes** : HDNFKFLFJFJ

**babybibibi** : JDYENFNFK

**bilance** : Why is a transportation company in your chat?

**transco** : GDHFJFJF

**transco** : nooo my name is Cisco but I’m not cis!! I’m trans!!!

**transco** : tis a joke

**bilance** : I see.

**irisbest** : sorry that we woke u up Nyssa

**bilance** : It’s fine. It’s daytime in Central City, right? 

**pipes** : yup

**spACEbar** : Snart left because and I quote “they’re fucking annoying”

**spACEbar** : sounded really freaking annoyed

**lesbianda** : hes definitely sulky 

**spACEbar** : nah I don’t think it’s just that

**spACEbar** : he wasn’t whiny enough

**transco** : PFFDF CALLED OUT

**detectiveprettybi** : listen Snart has had months to figure out we’re annoying why would he only leave now

**bilance** : Perhaps it is a different matter.

**spACEbar** : woah shit Sara what happened to you

**irisbest** : nah that’s Nyssa

**spACEbar** : ah

**spACEbar** : hi

**spACEbar** : anyway mick pls keep an eye on my bf

**heatwave** : hell if I cared every time he has his panties in a twist

**spACEbar** : That does not reassure me

**lesbianda** : dw Bar 

**spACEbar** : <3

**bilance** : You truly are like a family in this group, aren’t you?

**snowflake** : awww! Look even Nyssa can tell!

**oliverqueer** : Nyssa is quite observant

**bilance** : Hello, Oliver.

**oliverqueer** : you know, I can sense the sigh

**bilance** : Good.

**irisbest** : eye emoji

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**pipes** : eye emoji

**lesbianda** : eye emoji

**transco** : eye emoji

**oliverqueer** : i know what y’all are thinking

**oliverqueer** : no i did not sleep with Nyssa 

**spACEbar** : thank goodness

**bilance** : I am exclusively attracted to women.

**lesbianda** : lesbian high five!!!!

**irisbest** : so what’s your history

**bilance** : My father, however, would like me to marry someone like Oliver.

**heatwave** : yikes

**oliverqueer** : thanks so much

**transco** : so your dad is a gold digger got it

**oliverqueer** : dude they got money

**bilance** : We do own a lot of land ourselves.

**oliverqueer** : and ur dojo

**bilance** : And our dojo, yes.

**heatwave** : sweet

**irisbest** : Nyssa is your father perhaps against you dating women

**bilance** : Not that I am aware of.

**bilance** : On the contrary, he’s quite fond of Sara.

**detectiveprettybi** : of course he is

**bilance** : I imagine he’d rather I ended up with someone with more “business competence”.

**pipes** : Sara is the gold digger

**babybibibi** : seems likely

**bilance** : Are you insulting my girlfriend?

**detectiveprettybi** : we would never

**lesbianda** : it’s how we express our love

**spACEbar** : if Nyssa single-handedly travels to Central to kill y’all then i’m glad i’m not there

**bilance** : I do not believe I’d have a single reason to harm you. I have only heard good things about you.

**spACEbar** : me specifically or everyone

**bilance** : That’s yours to find out. ;)

**bilance** : If you’ll excuse me, I’ll try to continue to sleep now.

**irisbest** : sleep well!!!!

**transco** : bye Nyssa!!!!!

**lesbianda** : man, what a woman

**babybibibi** : truly

**lesbianda** : you know who else is quite a woman?

**spACEbar** : …. Lois lane?

**lesbianda** : YES 

**lesbianda** : I WILL CALL YOU NOW TO TALK TO KARA

**snowflake** : WAIT

**snowflake** : before you do that!

**snowflake** : the last time someone left the chat there’s been a breakup, so i have to ask

**snowflake** : bar are you and snart alright

**spACEbar** : what???

**spACEbar** : yes ofc we are

**spACEbar** : ‘peachy’ even, according to len

**snowflake** : that’s a relief

**babybibibi** : linda you may continue

**lesbianda** : thanks

**transco** : so we really aren’t worried

**detectiveprettybi** : nah

**oliverqueer** : snart’ll come around

**pipes** : speaking of so am i literally @ ronnie @ cait

**babybibibi** : sure thang

**irisbest** : please never do that again

**babybibibi** : sure thang

**transco** : you did that

**irisbest** : yeah i regret my life


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iris is gonna throw some punches one of these days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe y'all paint snart as a liar............. this man has NEVER done anything wrong...........   
> (yes, i am ignoring the glares from mick, oliver and eddie at this statement)

**oliverqueer** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : busy bees

**irisbest** : so are you paying linda now

**oliverqueer** : … yes

**heatwave** : you keep buying people’s affection

**irisbest** : paygrade better be up top

**transco** : are they working on the website

**oliverqueer** : yep

**oliverqueer** : there’s lots of passive aggressive talk happening

**bilance** : didnt know felicity could be anything but sweet

**bilance** : also wtf is that with snart

**transco** : we just don’t know

**bilance** : freaking rude

**oliverqueer** : felicity insults people in a way that nobody even freaking understands but it’s there

**transco** : you do understand don’t you

**oliverqueer** : yes it#s awkward and endearing

**oliverqueer** : i lvoe her so much

**irisbest** : when will you propose!!!!

**oliverqueer** : I DON’T KNOW

**oliverqueer** : MAYBE NEVER

**transco** : GASP

**babybibibi** : GASP

**irisbest** : GASP

**bilance** : GASP

**oliverqueer** : no i don’t mean

**oliverqueer** : ugh

**oliverqueer** : listen i’d marry felicity in an instant she’s The One

**oliverqueer** : but she doesn’t think too much of marriage

**heatwave** : mood

**oliverqueer** : and i don’t want to put her in such a position like i know she loves me and i know her so i’m aware she’d say no 

**oliverqueer** : without meaning it Like That

**irisbest** : i love that you’re so thoughtful when it comes to her

**irisbest** : get yoself a man like oliver queen

**transco** : but oliver

**transco** : that’s so sad

**oliverqueer** : it’s not

**babybibibi** : a little

**oliverqueer** : just because we wont sign papers doesn’t mean we aren’t gonna stay together

**bilance** : god i need to throw up this is so cute

**bilance** : oliver you’re legally forbidden to be cute wtf

**irisbest** : is he now

**bilance** : yes

**bilance** : [image attached]

**transco** : laurel isn’t a lawyer yet this isn’t legally binding

**oliverqueer** : u took a pic of that one???

**transco** : LET HIM BE CUTE

**babybibibi** : #LetMenBeCute2k18

**lesbianda** : oliver stop texting and come back we need to know which colour to use

**oliverqueer** : wtf green ofc

**transco** : couldve told you that

**spACEbar** : this friend group is so messy fhgghg

**irisbest** : us or your new clique

**spACEbar** : it’s not ‘my new clique’ wtf iris

**spACEbar** : but yes them

**babybibibi** : what happened now

**bilance** : quick tell me before i fall asleep

**spACEbar** : kara and mike have some beef going on bc apparently their home countries are mortal enemies

**heatwave** : spicy

**irisbest** : wtf i didn’t know kara wasn’t american

**transco** : im lesbain - i thought u were american

**babybibibi** : lesbain

**bilance** : lesbain

**transco** : i do not like you ppl

**irisbest** : what fucking countries are they from

**spACEbar** : idk man

**bilance** : probably something european

**spACEbar** : maybe spain and portugal? Mike’s OG Name™ does sound a bit like Manuel La Grande or something

**transco** : bitch that’s a great name

**irisbest** : im still so shook kara’s not american

**irisbest** : WAIT does that mean clark kent also sin’t the 100% farm boy that we think he is

**spACEbar** : dude idk

**irisbest** : you’re at the source and keep fucking up bar

**irisbest** : linda is gonna kill you

**spACEbar** : I’LL INVESTIGATE

**irisbest** : good job

**babybibibi** : may i ask where everyone is today

**bilance** : i’ll take a wild guess and say working

**bilance** : what time is it at yours

**transco** : 2pm

**bilance** : it fucks me up that im legit 12 hours ahead of you

**lesbianda** : go to bed sara

**bilance** : fine but only bc its u

**bilance** : ilu

**oliverqueer** : yup she sure is sleep-deprived

**irisbest** : omg oliver i just realized something

**irisbest** : you have a job

**irisbest** : u own a club, u run a club, u haVE A JOB

**oliverqueer** : yes i do

**babybibibi** : i have a job, cait volunteers during blood runs, hart has a job, cisco has a job, mick has a job, linda has a job, snart may have a job, oliver has a job, iris’s gonna have a job, eddie has a job,

**babybibibi** : sara and bar are lazy

**irisbest** : excuse you bar is an anxious muffin don’t stress them they got enough going on

**transco** : fight mode: activated

**irisbest** : no u come at bar with such shit and u get hit 

**irisbest** : im taking no prisoners

**babybibibi** : i… didn’t mena it like that

**babybibibi** : sorry bar youre doing great

**transco** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : the best meme

**irisbest** : watch ur mouth bicon

**babybibibi** : will do

**transco** : oh linda i have a request

**lesbianda** : yes

**transco** : when youre president

**lesbianda** : yes

**transco** : can you tell me if aliens exist

**lesbianda** : cisco

**transco** : yes

**lesbianda** : never change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone else not sure what to feel about the arrow announcement :/// like on one hand it's better to go out on a bang (and this show already is way past its best days) and i love that they're valuing stephen like this and dont wanna carry on without him but on the other hand ://// arrow is ending :/// im sAD it's what got me into dc in the first place :///////////////


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a filler chapter and the group is aware of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man wish i'd posted this chapter last time bc of captain marvel but hey cant account for everything can i

**spACEbar** : linda im leaving national today

**pipes** : she can’t read you she’s knees deep in writing an announcement for the gala

**spACEbar** : hm

**spACEbar** : don’t tell her then she needs her concentration

**lesbianda** : BAR NO

**pipes** : too late

**lesbianda** : LISTEN

**lesbianda** : ask jimmy olsen if he wants to come to the gala as a photographer

**irisbest** : holy shit that’s an amazing idea

**lesbianda** : i’ve been known to have those

**lesbianda** : HOLY SHIT JIMMY OLSEN JUST TEXTED ME

**snowflake** : oliver you truly gave her everything she wanted in life with this job

**transco** : still aint president

**spACEbar** : what if i told you aliens are real

**transco** : ofc they are real bar im not an amateur

**oliverqueer** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : okay this looks cooler than i ever expected

**irisbest** : it looks like an actual club????

**oliverqueer** : there’s gonna be light installments behind and around the counter 

**oliverqueer** : and we don’t have stools and the cooling systems yet and all that

**oliverqueer** : but yeah

**snowflake** : oliver there’s no need for pretending to be chill

**oliverqueer** : I’M REALLY FUCKING EXCITED YOU GUYS

**snowflake** : that’s more like it

**oliverqueer** : THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE

**oliverqueer** : ALSO DIG HAD A REALLY COOL IDEA FOR THE GALA

**oliverqueer** : WE’RE GONNA PUT BADGES WITH PRONOUNS AT THE FRONT DOOR

**oliverqueer** : AND SOME WITH FLAGS AND STUFF SO PEOPLE WON’T BE MISGENDERED AND STUFF LIKE THAT

**oliverqueer** : WE MIGHT DO THAT IN GENERAL

**oliverqueer** : BUT AGAIN THIS IS NO GAY BAR

**oliverqueer** : STILL

**transco** : have we ever seen oliver this excited

**pipes** : you shoudl see him irl

**pipes** : [video attached]

**snowflake** : aw they’re holding hands!!!!

**spACEbar** : this is so sweet

**pipes** : they hold hands all the time

**transco** : babe how damaging is that to your soul

**pipes** : not at all

**pipes** : tommy and oliver lying on the couch, holding hands as they fantasize while staring at the ceiling

**pipes** : it is incredibly wholesome

**pipes** : babe pls come over and kiss me

**transco** : will do after work

**pipes** : <3

**spACEbar** : you make me miss my bf stop

**transco** : how is he anyways

**spACEbar** : still weird as far as i can tell

**irisbest** : :/

**pipes** : yeah he’s even being a bigger asshole than usual to lisa

**snowflake** : bar u gotta come back and make him happy again :(((

**spACEbar** : ill call him soon

**babybibibi** : holy hell guys

**babybibibi** : the invitation to wells’ place is a joke

**pipes** : it’s what now

**babybibibi** : yeah it says to come over on easter sunday

**transco** : oh wait that’s april 1st this year

**transco** : huuuh

**spACEbar** : shit is it? 

**pipes** : ok fine but

**pipes** : harrison wells is not the person to make april fools jokes

**babybibibi** : no but henry rudolph wells might be

**babybibibi** : we don’t know anything about him!!!

**snowflake** : in times like this i wished we had an AI who had knowledge about anyone

**transco** : like ultron

**spACEbar** : ultron should not be the status quo

**irisbest** : jarvis?

**transco** : jarvis doesn’t knwo everything about everyone

**babybibibi** : so now im not going there

**babybibibi** : it’s decided

**pipes** : RONNIE

**pipes** : i will MURDER YOU

**babybibibi** : WITH WHAT WITH BAD MUSIC

**pipes** : YOU LITERALLY HAVE A BOYBAND HANDLE

**babybibibi** : GASP ARE YOU INSULTING *NSYNC

**transco** : do you ever wonder whether we all should take a break from one another 

**irisbest** : all the time

**spACEbar** : sometimes

**irisbest** : Bar You’re literally gone all you have to do is set your phone aside

**spACEbar** : I’m going to coast city today I think this group is tame in contrast 

**babybibibi** : i will go to that dinner apparently 

**transco** : how loudly did he yell into the phone

**babybibibi** : so loud dude

**irisbest** : are we sure hartley himself is not the reason for him going dead

**irisbest** : *DEAF

**transco** : hahahaha omg

**pipes** : [link attached]

**babybibibi** : did you just have that on the ready

**pipes** : listen the deaf awakening cast has the best humour 

**irisbest** : otherwise Bar do you stay at Hal’s home or

**spACEbar** : yeah but carol lives there now so it should be safe

**transco** : That Hal Person sure sounds like a catch

**spACEbar** : no Hal is great!!!

**irisbest** : just bc he was the first guy you had a crush on

**spACEbar** : DONT TELL THAT

**pipes** : man if Snart were here

**spACEbar** : Hal is a 23yo fuckboy hes got nothing on Snart

**spACEbar** : also he’s straight with a gf

**irisbest** : since when is he even dating carol again

**transco** : wait your visiting someone called carol with someone called danvers 

**babybibibi** : omg

**babybibibi** : generally Kara danvers carol danvers it’s so close

**lesbianda** : hello who is carol danvers

**transco** : Captain marvel

**lesbianda** : ah

**lesbianda** : so jimmy olsen is gonna be at the gala and I may be vibrating 

**heatwave** : why do you take ur vibrator to the quiver 

**pipes** : JFKFLF MICK

**spACEbar** : Mick what’s Len doing rn

**heatwave** : no idea I’m not with him

**spACEbar** : hm

**spACEbar** : imma call him now while we’re waiting for our bus

**transco** : have a safe ride Man

**babybibibi** : try the pizza there for me

**spACEbar** : obviously

**irisbest** : like Bar is gonna let some food pass them by

**lesbianda** : another not as interesting info: Kara and jimmy Olsen’s gf is Lena Luthor

**oliverqueer** : who the FUCK is Lena luthor 

**heatwave** : takin a wild guess and say she’s related to luthor

**lesbianda** : Lex’ sister

**oliverqueer** : Lex doesn’t have a sister

**oliverqueer** : Lex has a dead brother and a jerk of an half brother 

**lesbianda** : listen i May be nosy but even I can’t decipher the many thousand different takes people have on Lena luthor/Tess Mercer oKAY

**lesbianda** : but she is a luthor and she’s some degree of sister to lex but also she’s nice?

**transco** : a miracle

**irisbest** : “some degree of sister”

**irisbest** : that’s how I’ll talk about myself in regards to Bar from now on

**transco** : “some degree of sister” me before coming out as trans

**babybibibi** : dhhfkflfkflf

**irisbest** : omg 

**pipes** : BABE

**snowflake** : do u guys have pet names for each other in different languages 

**babybibibi** : weird topic change out of the blue but it seems like someone has to rant

**snowflake** : bc what is it in French

**pipes** : mon coeur 

**snowflake** : I THOUGHT SO OKAY

**snowflake** : on one hand? Aw

**snowflake** : ON THE OTHER that word makes the fucking ugliest sound 

**irisbest** : is Caitlin swearing 

**transco** : she has a hatred for French except being good at it

**babybibibi** : yeah that she is ;)

**transco** : stop

**lesbianda** : is2g

**pipes** : it’s a common French term of endearment wtf

**transco** : also the way hart says it is… nice?

**pipes** : so much emotion thanks

**snowflake** : it might be bc you say it like an American speaking French and not OG French 

**snowflake** : i need to inquire on that some time

**pipes** : …… okay

**transco** : hey Oliver have u already found a Russian petname

**oliverqueer** : ???? No?

**transco** : sad

**pipes** : hasimausipupsi

**babybibibi** : what

**pipes** : german

**lesbianda** : yeah sure ofc

**irisbest** : does anyone else feel like we’re just rambling on until the next big thing happens

**irisbest** : or until bar comes back home

**lesbianda** : maybe those two are linked to one another 

**transco** : now don’t tease people like that

**pipes** : it’s only a tease if the ones who talk like that already planned ahead about what’s to come

**lesbianda** : ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friend and i keep slipping into other languages whenever we meet up (we're both german born and bred but multilingual and pretentious) and last time we were playing mau-mau in french - which i don't even speak lmao - and ranted about what an ugly word 'coeur' is. sorry at the frenchies but?? i needed to rant


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> linda REALLY is having the time of her life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXCITING DAY!!!!   
> It's the 14th March???? 2019??? Barry Allen??? Is 30? CAN YOU BELIEVE. He was 24 when we met him for the first time, my baby is growing up and I don't know what to feel.  
> Oh, also this fic has now reached 100k words. How is this my life.

**spACEbar** : sometimes, I wonder where exactly Kara and Hal are friends

**spACEbar** : and then this happens

**spACEbar** : [video attached]

**snowflake** : why do they sound like they’re choking!

**snowflake** : bar don’t take a video! H e l p  t h e m

**spACEbar** : they brought this onto themselves

**snowflake** : B A R 

**spACEbar** : they snorted some sweets that carol got while she was travelling

**snowflake** : they sNORTED SWEETS??????

**spACEbar** : hal: lol it looks like coke | kara: i bet you won’t snort it | hal: you’re just too chicken to do it yourself | kara: bIT cH

**spACEbar** : now it just burns apparnetly

**transco** : disgusting i love it

**bilance** : weak asses

**spACEbar** : sara im bringing some back home 

**bilance** : i challenge mick, oliver and dig

**snowflake** : dig is too clever to attempt something like this

**bilance** : come to think of it ure right

**spACEbar** : anyway they might have done it to celebrate me coming out to them

**bilance** : wtf they didnt know youre a rainbow

**spACEbar** : they didn’t know im enby

**bilance** : OHH

**bilance** : nice!!! Congrats i guess they took it well

**spACEbar** : yup

**spACEbar** : kara apologizes for having used the wrong pronouns the whole time and i just keep going IT’S FINE HOW SHOULD YOU HAVE KNOWN

**bilance** : is kara a sunshine such as caitlin but with the recklessness of idk mick or something

**irisbest** : yeah

**spACEbar** : fits the bill

**irisbest** : bar you were reason for complaining today

**spACEbar** : i was what

**detectiveprettybi** : they were what

**detectiveprettybi** : i will fight

**snowflake** : eye emoji

**irisbest** : jesse’s staying over tonight but dad said she’s gotta stay with me

**irisbest** : cue wally complaining

**pipes** : what’s he complaining about

**irisbest** : ‘but snart can always sleep in bar’s bed!!!!!’

**spACEbar** : NOT TRUE

**spACEbar** : wtf i wish

**snowflake** : aw

**bilance** : call him and set the record straight

**irisbest** : pls do not it is 2am

**pipes** : my prime time

**detectiveprettybi** : come to think of it where’s your bf

**pipes** : [image attached]

**snowflake** : he’ll kill you

**snowflake** : also awwww

**bilance** : he’s so soft

**bilance** : it makes me soft wtf

**spACEbar** : i feel like youre growing soft bc youre with ur gf

**bilance** : …. Maybe so

**transco** : [image attached]

**detectiveprettybi** : did you wake up just to post a meme

**pipes** : no that was me

**pipes** : i figured he wouldnt want to miss out

**spACEbar** : true love

**spACEbar** : shit sorry sensitive topic

**irisbest** : why 

**pipes** : dw doesnt matter

**bilance** : u know that once linda has read this you will have to explain

**pipes** : … sighs

**pipes** : basically i told cisco i love him but He’s Not There Yet

**pipes** : WHICH IS FINE CAITLIN DON’T HYPERVENTILATE

**spACEbar** : hes felt really bad

**pipes** : yeah i know but he doesn’t have to

**pipes** : honestly we joke about it

**irisbest** : i love this awareness in the relationships atm

**irisbest** : yall are goals

**snowflake** : <3

**bilance** : y’all should actually go to bed 

**bilance** : this is getting way too chummy here

**irisbest** : im having a sleepover there’s no sleeping here

**pipes** : that contradicts itself

**spACEbar** : good night guys

 

**babybibibi** : god our group truly is chaotic good huh

**oliverqueer** : i wouldnt say good

**babybibibi** : dude we have bar and cait

**oliverqueer** : right

**lesbianda** : oliver don’t text get yourself ready we have a strict time schedule

**oliverqueer** : i regret putting you in charge of anything

**lesbianda** : chop chop

**babybibibi** : what’s the plan for today

**lesbianda** : THE PHOTOSHOOT

**babybibibi** : wait what photoshoot

**lesbianda** : jiMMY OLSEN offered to not just take pics at the gala but also beforehand

**lesbianda** : so there’ll be some of the team and like profiles and all that on the site

**lesbianda** : JIMMY OLSEN WILL BE ARRIVING IN CENTRAL AT 10

**irisbest** : linda youre so incredible

**irisbest** : i am literally in love with you

**lesbianda** : ofc u are

**irisbest** : shall i hold your hand

**lesbianda** : PLEASE

**lesbianda** : ALSO HELP ME PICK OUT CLOTHES

**irisbest** : ill make dad drive me to yours

**irisbest** : give me 15 minutes

**lesbianda** : see oliver? That’s dedication

**oliverqueer** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : we’re literally doing the last touches

**lesbianda** : iris pls bring your make-up set

**irisbest** : duh who do you think i am

**oliverqueer** : rude we look sharp

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah you do

**oliverqueer** : wipe that smirk off your face

**transco** : why the fuck are you texting

**detectiveprettybi** : you and hartley also always text each other in here

**transco** : for comedic purposes

**oliverqueer** : you arent funny

**transco** : au contraire

**transco** : in other news is breakfast time over yet

**detectiveprettybi** : no get ur ass down here lisa is serving something with lots of chili bc she’s pissed

**transco** : white ppl making spicy food is a joke

**transco** : so perfect for breakfast

**lesbianda** : tell em cisco

**lesbianda** : oh my bell rings

**irisbest** : yes open up maybe? i’ve been standing here for five minutes

**lesbianda** : i was drinking coffee

**irisbest** : that’s it my dad’s coming up with me

**detectiveprettybi** : youre fucked

**lesbianda** : jokes on you joe is gonna conghfghrktkgjgl

**irisbest** : he hugged her

**irisbest** : gotta say not what i expected

**irisbest** : oh shit he’s suffocating her

**transco** : sheesh do we ever have a normal day

**detectiveprettybi** : unlikely

**oliverqueer** : nah

**babybibibi** : aren’t y’all in the same room now

**transco** : nah im in the kitchen and they’re in the living room

**babybibibi** : it’s a fucking open kitchen cisco stop playing games

**lesbianda** : y’all detective joseph ira west just said he’s proud of me

**irisbest** : she’s literally crying

**oliverqueer** : thank fuck you brought your make up set

**lesbianda** : i’d say shut the fuck up but i’m too thankful

**transco** : also he’s ur boss

**lesbianda** : shit

**oliverqueer** : :)

**irisbest** : no don’t

**oliverqueer** : Miss Park, we will be expecting you in twenty minutes. Don’t be late.

**babybibibi** : oh my god

**detectiveprettybi** : you’ve made a big mistake

**lesbianda** : have i though

**lesbianda** : BC GUESS WHO’S GONNA SEE JIMMY OLSEN NOW

**lesbianda** : BYE

**irisbest** : i love her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you haven't lived until you've snorted Ahoj Brause, y'all.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's bar's last day in coast city, y'all.

**snowflake** : haven’t heard from our absent members in like a week are they alright

**pipes** : that tends to happen when someone is absent

**lesbianda** : watch it don’t be snippy to cait

**lesbianda** : god am i glad we finished the website

**lesbianda** : and the announcement is almsot ready to gO

**transco** : you’re inspiring linda

**irisbest** : hal and kara are keeping bar on their toes

**irisbest** : also hal is planning on making them fly with him on the last day (which is today look at that)

**transco** : fly what now

**irisbest** : also sara is busy training and hiking with nyssa and her sister, it’s very swet

**irisbest** : i have no idea what snart is up to

**irisbest** : and eddie is currently doing his last desk shift with my dad

**pipes** : have you taken up linda’s position as informed person #1

**lesbianda** : bless her for that i had no time to snoop

**irisbest** : fly a plane cisco

**transco** : ?????????????????

**snowflake** : ??????????????

**pipes** : ??????????????

**oliverqueer** : ?????????????????

**irisbest** : hal is a pilot you guys

**irisbest** : ferris aircraft

**oliverqueer** : oh

**pipes** : wtf

**irisbest** : yeah don’t ask me i don’t know the details

**snowflake** : i feel like that wouldn’t be too great a thing for bar’s anxiety

**lesbianda** : exactly

**irisbest** : hal is very positive they should just ‘ignore it’

**irisbest** : ‘man up’

**transco** : oh yikes

**lesbianda** : what’s kara saying to all that

**irisbest** : that bar’s gotta decide

**irisbest** : and you knwo them

**irisbest** : they’re soft

**pipes** : too soft

**transco** : bar pls don’t die i don’t have the social skills for a new best friend

**oliverqueer** : that compassion

**heatwave** : snart’s only home for the nights lol

**snowflake** : is he keeping himself busy so he won’t miss Bar too much

**oliverqueer** : eye emoji

**pipes** : don’t be like that

**transco** : yeah don’t be like that

**irisbest** : literally what did snart do to you to deserve this lack of trust

**oliverqueer** : That was no accusation!!!! I was curious

**lesbianda** : sure

**heatwave** : who the fuck knows

**snowflake** : thank you for that contribution mick

**oliverqueer** : wow is Caitlin sarcastic

**transco** : no she means it

**irisbest** : i love you cait

**pipes** : big reveal: iris is a lesbian after all

**irisbest** : boy I wish 

**irisbest** : men are so tiring 

**oliverqueer** : ;)

**irisbest** : nOT IN THE GOOD WAY

**transco** : What who’s bothering you

**lesbianda** : yeah Iris who’s bothering you

**irisbest** : get off my dick Linda

**heatwave** : kinky

**pipes** : aren’t helping yourself here

**irisbest** : men in general

**transco** : ok yeah I feel

**pipes** : gotta love being the chosen one 

**transco** : no you ain’t Harry Potter

**pipes** : Halloween is upon us

**oliverqueer** : it’s March

**pipes** : yeah but end of March and that means it’s April soon

**lesbianda** : i cant believe you still think my boy hp was white smh

**pipes** : I miss Snart I feel like that would have been an opener to roast me 

**irisbest** : jeez 

**oliverqueer** : god hartley 

**lesbianda** : cisco your bf has a crush on your bff’s bf

**transco** : we been knew

**spACEbar** : lmao i may have gotten hal suspended

**transco** : YOU DID WHAT

**irisbest** : bar you freaking icon HOW

**spACEbar** : threw up in his plane

**pipes** : ew

**snowflake** : are you okay!!!!!

**irisbest** : maybe youre no icon after all

**spACEbar** : we wanted to fly!!!!!

**spACEbar** : didn’t even take off and i was sick

**spACEbar** : on the bright side this is way funnier and memorable for the ages

**oliverqueer** : bar…. Are YOU getting a kick out of your friend being in trouble

**oliverqueer** : what happened

**irisbest** : hal is a bad influence on them

**spACEbar** : shut up

**irisbest** : see

**spACEbar** : hal’ll be fine his gf’s dad is his boss 

**lesbianda** : but doesn’t carol’s dad hate him

**lesbianda** : and didn’t he forbid her to date hal for the longest time

**spACEbar** : what the

**irisbest** : IT WASN’T ME

**pipes** : sometimes i wonder who’s got the better contacts - linda or snart

**transco** : you know what these two have in common?

**pipes** : MICK

**transco** : MICK

**snowflake** : MICK

**spACEbar** : MICK

**irisbest** : MICK

**oliverqueer** : MICK

**lesbianda** : yeah no it aint mick

**lesbianda** : or is it

**heatwave** : pipes back at talking about snart

**pipes** : listen im a simple man

**pipes** : when will he return from war

**transco** : did you dramatically turn around in your chair to stare out the window

**pipes** : ofc

**irisbest** : wow i wouldnt have thought your workplace has a window

**pipes** : mercury’s next gen bitch

**lesbianda** : don’t call a woman bitch you jerk

**pipes** : >:(

**spACEbar** : anyway i don’t think hal’s gonna be in big trouble as long as he cleans up

**snowflake** : are you helping him?

**spACEbar** : my bus leaves in an hour

**oliverqueer** : snart is really rubbing off on you

**transco** : ;)

**oliverqueer** : nobody say aynthing i realized my mistake

**pipes** : ;)

**irisbest** : ;)

**heatwave** : heh

**spACEbar** : god i can’t believe i missed you guys

**snowflake** : AW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **shameless self promo:** I wrote a hartmon oneshot! It's cute and deals with Hartley's deafness, so check it out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18130658)


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> waiting tables should become an olympic discipline, y'all

**transco** : I just inhaled four tacos

**snowflake** : you did WHAT

**transco** : I got them for free but they’re the kind you gotta eat while they’re hot

**transco** : and my breaks only in an hour

**transco** : so I had to be fast

**babybibibi** : i cant believe I dated you

**transco** : fuck off

**pipes** : I can’t believe I AM dating you

**transco** : fuck you 

**pipes** : that a promise

**transco** : maybe 

**bilance** : disgusting 

**snowflake** : I think they’re cute

**bilance** : no i meant Cisco’s eating habits 

**babybibibi** : understandable 

**spACEbar** : hey cisco until when are you working I might swing by later 

**transco** : !!!!! I was already sad you didn’t say hi to anyone yesterday

**spACEbar** : I was tired :(((( 

**snowflake** : you’re forgiven 

**babybibibi** : ^

**transco** : anyway I’ve gotta work till 2

**spACEbar** : nice! I’m visiting my dad at noon so I’ll be around at like 1:30

**pipes** : how often can you even visit him 

**spACEbar** : once a month but today’s extra bc it’s pesach!

**transco** : ohhhh say hi from me

**babybibibi** : do you know bar’s dad

**transco** : no but im sure he’s heard of me :~D

**spACEbar** : all of u ofc

**snowflake** : awwwww

**spACEbar** : ok see you later

**pipes** : babe go wait some tables

**transco** : i wish it’s dead in oh no there’s a group of students

**babybibibi** : rip francisco paco ramon 1997-2018

**pipes** : he’ll be terribly missed

**irisbest** : i see you’re really compassionate

**snowflake** : morning iris!!!!

**irisbest** : morn

**irisbest** : i swear even i haven’t seen bar since they came home

**babybibibi** : were they busy with snart ;)

**irisbest** : no they literally went straight to bed when dad picked them up

**irisbest** : bc apparently sleeping on the bus is a no-go

**pipes** : the more you know

**snowflake** : wait so snart did no romantic picking up gesture?

**snowflake** : i am so disappointed

**babybibibi** : i swear she’s more invested in that relationship than our own

**snowflake** : not true!

**irisbest** : caitlin i propose you show xem just exactly how invested you are in your relationship

**snowflake** : great idea

**heatwave** : have fun boning

**pipes** : mick i gotta say i love how you’re always reading along

**heatwave** : who says i am

**bilance** : maybe his timing is just as good as mine

**irisbest** : god i really wish i were into women

**pipes** : this would be the point where cisco posts a shia labeouf “JUST DO IT” meme

**irisbest** : are we sure the college kids didn’t kill him

**bilance** : WE are college kids and didnt kill him

**heatwave** : close call

**oliverqueer** : linda incoming

**lesbianda** : GUYS LOOK AT THIS

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : you look so happy!!!!

**oliverqueer** : we’re all very proud of her.

**bilance** : there’s a period at the end of the sentence he really means it

**oliverqueer** : i do!

**oliverqueer** : honestly i don’t know what i would have done without linda 

**oliverqueer** : if mom had given me one of her press dudes then it would have been no doubt a straight white old man who’d have MAYBE pretended to be hip

**oliverqueer** : now even this announcement in the paper is heartfelt and real

**oliverqueer** : and now excuse me while i go grab some tissues and hug her

**pipes** : awwwwwww

**irisbest** : that’s so cute

**bilance** : wtf so nice

**spACEbar** : mick is snart home

**heatwave** : idk probably

**heatwave** : im @ gym w/ pretty

**spACEbar** : great

**spACEbar** : cisco sorry i won’t stop by after all

**irisbest** : are you missing him so bad

**pipes** : they might even miss him more than the rest of us

**bilance** : jesus first eddie with his fake crush on bar and now you with ur fake crush on snart

**pipes** : is it fake tho

**bilance** : also did anyone else feel some sort of determination coming off bar’s texts

**transco** : you’d think at the age of 20+ ppl would have learnt how to eat,

**transco** : aw bar :(( but ok i get it

**irisbest** : weak

**pipes** : i regret that we sent ronnie and caitlin away i have a whole list of questions for them to ask tomorrow

**transco** : hartley. Rathaway. I can’t believe that you are seen as a genius

**transco** : when you literally don’t even fucking realize you have both their numbers

**pipes** : … im really bad at everyday life

**transco** : yeah

**irisbest** : those kids really pissed you off huh

**bilance** : oh is the wells dinner tomorrow?

**transco** : yep

**transco** : answer to both of you

**pipes** : we’re getting insights here we need to dive into those

**pipes** : for the record i’d like to announce that about 34% of the question are by cisco

**oliverqueer** : im not even gonna ask how that percentage came to be

**transco** : it’s for the better

**lesbianda** : you guys are unbelievably horny for your freaking professor

**heatwave** : fantasy threesome

**lesbianda** : yeah that

**bilance** : shouldnt you be doing sports how are you even texting

**heatwave** : lifting weights today

**bilance** : ah. Sure

**transco** : hart are you still at my place?

**pipes** : nope

**transco** : go there

**pipes** : yep

**lesbianda** : whipped

**pipes** : i was promised sex so

**pipes** : shrug emoji

**oliverqueer** : i love how we’ve just come to the point where we type exactly what emoji we mean

**bilance** : yeah well it’s not like we have any other options here

**lesbianda** : @ ronnie @ cait pls ask wells why hr didn’t think of emojis

**irisbest** : bar is already home???

**irisbest** : im an eye emoji

**lesbianda** : go forth and snoop my friend

**oliverqueer** : we really need to work on our privacies here

**transco** : they have never existed in the first place ollie grow up

**oliverqueer** : i am 6 years older than you

**transco** : weird af

**bilance** : you’re old

**oliverqueer** : >:/

**lesbianda** : why do we always come back to hating on oliver

**bilance** : you’ve grown soft on him

**lesbianda** : well? Yeah

**lesbianda** : for good reason

**transco** : did you propose to him yet

**oliverqueer** : so often

**pipes** : sweet


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dinner at wells' place is happening! and that is absolutely and most definitely the only big thing happening in this chapter. yup, nothing else going on, we're cool

**spACEbar** has left the chat

 

**babybibibi** : so…. was anyone around for that

**oliverqueer** : what the 

**oliverqueer** : what

**transco** : BAR?????

**pipes** : im as confused as everyone else but

**pipes** : kudos to doing this in the short time where nobody was online

**babybibibi** : Iris?

**transco** : they aren’t replying to me :(((

**oliverqueer** : Linda doesn’t know anything either

**pipes** : the fuck

**pipes** : okay but Snart and Bar leaving the chat shortly after one another……..

**transco** : nO

**babybibibi** : shit I gotta keep cait away from the chat or else she’ll have a breakdown 

**oliverqueer** : and you guys are supposed to socialize today

**babybibibi** : exactly 

**transco** : honestly they’re probably fine 

**transco** : just… a break from the mess

**oliverqueer** : i sure hope so

**pipes** : yeah let’s just accept it like this

**pipes** : and change the topic

**transco** : Wells?

**pipes** : wells 

**babybibibi** : we literally still have four hours

**babybibibi** : and I feel like you guys are more excited/nervous than me

**pipes** : yeah sorry we are not basically best buds with him

**transco** : yeah to us harrison wells is an enigma

**oliverqueer** : didnt he literally give you a job hartley

**pipes** : no he just talked to tina mcgee and recommended me dUH

**oliverqueer** : ah sure my mistake

**babybibibi** : im gonna distract my fiance now

**detectiveprettybi** : anyone else feel like theyre getting more sex lately than ever before

**transco** : ok i dunno why but i feel attacked by this statement

**oliverqueer** : fofpfpfpf

**detectiveprettybi** : anyway joe is weird today i wanted to see if something’s up

**pipes** : well

**detectiveprettybi** : bAR LEFT THE CHAT?

**detectiveprettybi** : WHAT HAPPENED

**transco** : we don’t know

**transco** : but dang if even joe is weird

**oliverqueer** : well we can be sure nobody got hurt bc i doubt that would bring a silent retreat with it

**pipes** : true

**transco** : dang oliver you should become a PI or something

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah but???

**oliverqueer** : maybe they have a bad episode?

**transco** : :((((

**detectiveprettybi** : could be, joe looks pretty worried

**pipes** : i cant believe you dare to call him by his first name

**detectiveprettybi** : not to his face trust me

**pipes** : pfpfpfpfpgjg

**detectiveprettybi** : don’t mock me

**detectiveprettybi** : anyway we have our first patrol tomorrow i hope he’s in a better mood by then

**bilance** : PATROL

**bilance** : you’re gonna do amazing sweetie

**transco** : [image attached]

**bilance** : thanks cisco

**transco** : de nada

**pipes** : sara seriously how does your timing fit so perfectly

**bilance** : we had this discussion already it’s one of my superpowers

**transco** : true

**babybibibi** : new tactic: we’re gonna go grocery shopping to bring a gift

**babybibibi** : what do you bring a scientist

**oliverqueer** : wine

**bilance** : wine

**pipes** : wine

**transco** : wine

**detectiveprettybi** : wine

**babybibibi** : okay wine it is

**babybibibi** : any suggestions which one

**bilance** : rosé 

**bilance** : bc you don’t know whether he likes white or red do you

**babybibibi** : great idea

**transco** : sara learnt from all the times she showed up on rich ppl’s doorways

**bilance** : yeah lol

**irisbest** : bar’s fine they’re having a fight with snart

**irisbest** : that being said next time i see that guy i’ll rip out his dick

**pipes** : holy shit

**oliverqueer** : what happened

**irisbest** : dunno, they don’t wanna talk about it

**irisbest** : but it’s something serious

**irisbest** : so yeah snart’s a dead man

**transco** : s h i t

**detectiveprettybi** : no wonder your dad is like that

**irisbest** : yeah

**irisbest** : anyway figured you guys might wanna know why they logged off

**irisbest** : see you later i gotta cheer up a rainbow 

**transco** : :-(

**pipes** : they’ll be fine

**oliverqueer** : yeeeahhh

**detectiveprettybi** : honestly this aint on brand for me but i am convinced it’s just something minor that blew up

**transco** : probably yeah

**bilance** : seems likely

**oliverqueer** : glad we settled that

**bilance** : i feel like im missing all the juice lately

**pipes** : you ARE 12 hours ahead of us

**detectiveprettybi** : honestly i’d have thought you’d be around less

**bilance** : rude

**detectiveprettybi** : i said THOUGHT not hoped

**babybibibibi** : OH MY GOD

**transco** : oh boy it’s almost time!!!!

**babybibibi** : NO IT’S VERY MUCH TIME WE’RE A LITTLE EARLY AND

**babybibibi** : YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHO THE FUCK IS HERE

**pipes** : WHO

**transco** : IS IT HR

**babybibibi** : THAT TOO BUT

**babybibibi** : WALLY

**transco** : WALLY?

**pipes** : WALLY?

**detectiveprettybi** : WALLY?

**babybibibi** : WALLY

**oliverqueer** : wait what now

**babybibibi** : APPARENTLY JESSE IS NONE OTHER THAN HARRISON WELLS’ DAUGHTER

**pipes** : NO

**babybibibi** : YES

**transco** : NO

**babybibibi** : YES

**babybibibi** : AND WALLY KEEPS STARING AT US LIKE HE RECOGNIZES US BUT DOESN’T KNOW WHY

**babybibibi** : I FLED TO THE BATHROOM SO SOMEONE CAN TEXT HIM HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S GONNA COMBUST

**pipes** : WILL DO

**pipes** : OH MY GOD

**transco** : WHY IS CENTRAL CITY LIKE THIS

**babybibibi** : IDK I GOTTA GO BACK BUT IM SCREAMING

**oliverqueer** : im not even sure what to say

**bilance** : this is such a classic central city move

**detectiveprettybi** : okay so a guy who lives in the same house as me has a crush on the father of the girl whom my partner’s son is dating

**oliverqueer** : that’s a mouthful

**detectiveprettybi** : applies to multiple things about me

**transco** : nice one

**transco** : im literally shaking at this point

**pipes** : i dont know whether to laugh or to cry

**pipes** : [image attached]

**bilance** : i love the notion of “okay so shall i kick xem in the balls for being cisco’s ex or is xe good” in Wally’s text

**oliverqueer** : wally/hartley brotp

**detectiveprettybi** : tag urself im “you literally cuddled with these people on bar’s birthday”

**transco** : wally is a legend

**oliverqueer** : quick question why can wally text undetectedly in contrast to his siblings

**lesbianda** : bc he wasn’t raised by joe duh

**bilance** : i see my perfect timing got rubbed off to you

**lesbianda** : ;)

**pipes** : wally is now livetexting the experience to me

**detectiveprettybi** : iconic

**detectiveprettybi** : uh oh im being glared at

**detectiveprettybi** : bi

**oliverqueer** : did he really write bi instead of bye

**bilance** : bicon

**pipes** : WELLS IS BASHING US

**lesbianda** : who now

**pipes** : CISCO AND ME

**transco** : he WHAT

**bilance** : hey linda did you know who jesse was

**lesbianda** : for once in my life nope

**pipes** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : you guys sERIOUSLY play footsie during CLASS

**lesbianda** : that’s adorable

**transco** : idk babe that’s just bashing you

**transco** : “I liked it better when mr Ramon was dating YOU ronnie”

**pipes** : okay, first of all, rude.

**pipes** : second, im pretty sure wells likes me better

**bilance** : he did get you a job

**lesbianda** : have wally ask

**pipes** : not suspicious at all

**snowflake** : YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHO JESSE’S CHEMISTRY TEACHER IS

**transco** : NO

**pipes** : NO

**snowflake** : UH-HUH

**snowflake** : SHE MENTIOED HIS NAME ALL CASUALLY AND RONNIE AND I JUST FREAKED

**pipes** : I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS

**transco** : DID WE EVEN KNOW JESSE GOES TO WEST HIGH

**pipes** : WE DID NOT

**snowflake** : I NEED TO LEAVE AGAIN BUT DAMN

**lesbianda** : holy shit caitlin is swearing

**bilance** : we’re corrupting her

**oliverqueer** : i have no idea what’s going on

**transco** : jesse’s high school is our high school

**oliverqueer** : when you say “our” you mean

**pipes** : cisco and me

**pipes** : and not only that

**transco** : the chemistry teacher who made us hate each other?

**pipes** : she has the same chemistry teacher

**lesbianda** : i love this city

**bilance** : only in central

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you'll excuse me, i'm now gonna drop off the surface of this planet. bi!


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hartley is still dealing with the aftermath of the wells-dinner and also we have not just one but TWO visitors

**pipes** : im meeting up with wally today and i intend to shout at him

**babybibibi** : it’s been two days hart

**oliverqueer** : and you have shouted a lot at home

**irisbest** : you have even shouted at me

**pipes** : couldnt help it

**pipes** : i just. How could this be a secret

**oliverqueer** : tell him about your history with your chemistry teacher

**pipes** : yeah im sure stein will love to hear his best students are dating now

**irisbest** : a story for the ages

**babybibibi** : hey so how is bar

**irisbest** : still pissed and sad

**oliverqueer** : and how is snart

**irisbest** : like hell i care

**pipes** : oh damn

**babybibibi** : can’t y’all just ask lisa

**oliverqueer** : nope

**pipes** : apparently her dear brother ignores her. She’s VERY pissed

**oliverqueer** : her shouting matched hart’s

**babybibibi** : dear god

**irisbest** : change of topic before i get angry

**babybibibi** : uH

**babybibibi** : OH YES

**babybibibi** : i talked to hr about the chat 

**oliverqueer** : this one specifically or the app

**babybibibi** : both

**babybibibi** : he’s a big fan of your work

**irisbest** : when will we get emojis

**babybibibi** : get this: hr does not like emojis

**babybibibi** : i still can’t believe. This dude is a rl jvn and he doesn’t like emojis

**oliverqueer** : eye emoji

**oliverqueer** : as IF he’s a rl jvn

**babybibibi** : dude hes soooooo extra

**irisbest** : what the fuck is jvn

**oliverqueer** : Long hair dude from queer eye

**irisbest** : ah

**transco** : tell me more about hr

**babybibibi** : how do you always text at work

**transco** : it’s before noon at a Mexican restaurant

**transco** : its dead Jim

**pipes** : [image attached]

**pipes** : Wally’s literal reaction to finding out what stein did to us

**oliverqueer** : he looks so happy pffff

**irisbest** : Wally loves a good dramatic love story 

**irisbest** : his fav movie is brokeback mountain

**babybibibi** : NO THATS SO SAD

**transco** : I love Wally 

**pipes** : wow

**transco** : …..

**transco** : you’re going to catch these hands

**pipes** : gladly

**oliverqueer** : i love how you guys are just treating that like a meme

**lesbianda** : just like your proposal to Felicity

**bilance** : Which, of course, will never happen.

**bilance** : Because Oliver Queen is not the person to get married.

**irisbest** : i seriously love how well the vibes come off two sentences

**oliverqueer** : wtf i might be, Nyssa 

**bilance** : Your past says otherwise.

**babybibibi** : i don’t want to get into this but…. anyone else feel weird when someone else bullies Oliver

**lesbianda** : um excuse you Nyssa hi i have a Minor crush on you but

**lesbianda** : you do realize Oliver has become A GREAT person yes

**irisbest** : exactly and Oliver’s love for felicity is very pure and 100%

**pipes** : have you founded a protect Oliver alliance

**bilance** : I suppose his sleeping around has become less.

**bilance** : And that he might spend his time more purposefully than previously.

**oliverqueer** : Holt shit that’s like a love declaration from you

**bilance** : Now, don’t make it weird.

**transco** : yes ma’am 

**bilance** : … And it is weird.

**bilance** : Goodbye.

**babybibibi** : can we all agree that SHE made it weird 

**pipes** : totally

**oliverqueer** : i love you guys

**babybibibi** : wow i think we Never heard this from you before

**transco** : I miss Bar

**detectiveprettybi** : hey Iris how is your dad

**irisbest** : still fuming

**detectiveprettybi** : fuck

**lesbianda** : OHHHH patrol

**detectiveprettybi** : yup

**pipes** : look on the bright side you can be sure he’s not just pissed at you

**detectiveprettybi** : … i Hope i can survive until my birthday

**oliverqueer** : oh btw

**oliverqueer** : HI GUYS

**oliverqueer** : it’s your very own Lisa Snart here

**babybibibi** : Lisa!!!!!

**irisbest** : the only Snart that matters hello

**oliverqueer** : oh preach it girl

**heatwave** : mood

**oliverqueer** : Mick you literally live with my brother what the fuck is he doing to dodge my calls

**heatwave** : dunno he’s barely here

**heatwave** : but he’s in that mood

**oliverqueer** : that mood?

**heatwave** : ya

**oliverqueer** : shit

**lesbianda** : which mood

**oliverqueer** : the one that’s not good

**irisbest** : shrug emoji

**transco** : cold

**babybibibi** : anyway Lisa you wanted something?

**oliverqueer** : yes thank you 

**oliverqueer** : more important than my brothers well being thank you

**detectiveprettybi** : you know with you I can never tell whether something like this is sarcastic or not

**oliverqueer** : what’s the most feminist song you know

**pipes** : who run the world

**oliverqueer** : classy I like it

**lesbianda** : most girls by hailee steinfeld 

**irisbest** : praying by kesha 

**oliverqueer** : damn coming through strong

**transco** : uptown funk

**oliverqueer** : what The fuck

**babybibibi** : ????

**transco** : it encourages women to sing along and gives them an excuse to holla how hot they are at the sky without being called conceited for it. Bruno Mars is a feminist Icon. In this Essay i will 

**oliverqueer** : okay sure why not

**pipes** : what is this even for

**oliverqueer** : Eddie’s birthday silly

**detectiveprettybi** : youre making a feminist playlist for my birthday?

**oliverqueer** : yep

**detectiveprettybi** : only You, I swear. 

**babybibibi** : look what you made me do by Taylor Swift

**oliverqueer** : you know what? You’re actually absolutely right 

**detectiveprettybi** : this is gonna be such a weird one

**lesbianda** : Birthday or playlist?

**detectiveprettybi** : Both

**oliverqueer** : exactly what I want!

**irisbest** : every time a girl speaks up in this chat I wish I could date her

**transco** : [image attached]

**pipes** : finally he can bring in Shia labeouf

**babybibibi** : honestly we keep coming back to this

**lesbianda** : are you sure you aren’t a repressed lesbian Iris

**irisbest** : sadly yeah :/

**oliverqueer** : Lisa and laurel preparing a playlist together is death 

**pipes** : go mom!!!!

**transco** : don’t let Lisa know whom you’re rooting for

**pipes** : I may be depressed but I value my life

**transco** : good to know

**babybibibi** : healthy 

**detectiveprettybi** : bye I need to leave

**lesbianda** : good luck 

**pipes** : Iris Wally asks if you want something from big belly’s

**irisbest** : nah im Fine 

**irisbest** : but tell him to get Bar their fav

**pipes** : will do

**irisbest** : Hope they’ll eat then 

**transco** : :((((

**transco** : you think I could stop by 

**irisbest** : might help

**transco** : I’ll even binge the future trunks saga with them

**babybibibi** : That will probably distract them

**transco** : dragonball AND worrying about time travel? I sure hope it does 

**oliverqueer** : You’re a good Bestie 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bad news for you guys!  
> i got an apprenticeship that requires me to be out and about for 13h a day, meaning i'll be very tired and won't have much time the rest of the day so updates will become less frequent. **sundays** are the days i constantly have off, so that will be our **new update-day**! (yep, only **one a week** ;A;) there's also a few interludes to come but since i also have a day off during the week (though which one will probably change constantly), that's when i'll post those! I already wrote out a schedule and we'll wrap up in the middle of may, just like the season of the arrowverse will do, isn't that amazing?  
>  the next update is on april 7, sorry for the wait!


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's eddie's birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i hope y'all had some nice ten days (wow, it's been a while since the fic had a break this long huh) without me!!! my first week of work was nice, my feet are falling off but ah well
> 
>  
> 
> also, today is April 7 2019 and this chap takes place April 6 2018. Remember when this fic took place three months in the future lmao

**bilance** : happy birthday to my favourite bi

**babybibibi** : you know, i still find that highly offensive

**babybibibi** : otherwise: happy birthday eddie from both me and cait

**pipes** : he’s got early patrol so he’s already asleep

**babybibibi** : awww man

**bilance** : i literally just got up lol

**pipes** : gotta love timezones

**bilance** : does west know he’s working with a birthday boy

**babybibibi** : im guessing no

**pipes** : and we have no way of telling him damn

**bilance** : eye emoji

**oliverqueer** : no you will not call Eddie while he’s at work and you are on a different continent

**bilance** : spoilsport 

**oliverqueer** : don’t you have to do something way too exhausting with Nyssa anyways 

**bilance** : we do have pretty amazing sex, yes

**oliverqueer** : things I never wanted to know

**babybibibi** : you already know what Sara is like in bed

**pipes** : yeah how is this news to you

**bilance** : but in other news yes we are going to climb a mountain to do yoga in an amazing environment 

**babybibibi** : i saw your insta the other day and I’m so jealous 

**bilance** : excuse me why aren’t you looking at my insta every day

**babybibibi** : pardon me 

**bilance** : anyway yeah shower waits 

**oliverqueer** : hartley turn down your music it’s after midnight 

**babybibibi** : don’t you have work tomorrow hart

**pipes** : yeah fine I’m gone

**babybibibi** : good night 

 

**detectiveprettybi** : thanks guys!!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : Sara pls don’t call me i don’t need any more surprises today

**transco** : who gave you a surprise!!!!

**transco** : also happy birthday 

**pipes** : Lisa lol

**detectiveprettybi** : SHE JUMPED INTO MY BED AND KNEED ME IN THE CROTCH

**transco** : ouch

**irisbest** : that’s so unfortunate 

**pipes** : Iris mourns the boners

**detectiveprettybi** : she hit more of my thigh the pain is bearable 

**lesbianda** : okay enough dick talk 

**lesbianda** : happy birthday Eddie when does the party start 

**detectiveprettybi** : whenever more than three of y’all show up

**irisbest** : Let’s get it started without Eddie there

**pipes** : Hell Yeah 

**detectiveprettybi** : rude 

**detectiveprettybi** : but yeah basically

**transco** : will bar come @ Iris

**irisbest** : Yeah

**detectiveprettybi** : i guess it’s safe to assume Snart won’t so yeah

**lesbianda** : this is still so. Eye emoji 

**pipes** : same

**detectiveprettybi** : okay anyway gotta go 

**irisbest** : say hi to my dad from me

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah ofc

**lesbianda** : i love how this developed 

**oliverqueer** : okay Lisa and I had an idea and y’all need to stop by this afternoon

**irisbest** : eye emoji

**transco** : eye emoji

**lesbianda** : eye emoji

**snowflake** : eye emoji 

**oliverqueer** : smirk emoji 

**irisbest** : huh

**lesbianda** : im so nosy imma stop by right away

**irisbest** : I’ll join you 

**oliverqueer** : lmao

**pipes** : THATS THE BEST IDEA IM SO JEALOUS 

**transco** : shit I wanna know too but I gotta work 

**pipes** : I’ll call you when I leave for mercury 

**transco** : you’re the best

**lesbianda** : Young love 

**snowflake** : we’re stopping by in the afternoon 

**snowflake** : shall we bring anything?

**pipes** : this is a rich ppls home 

**oliverqueer** : a good mood

**transco** : always present 

**irisbest** : :’D

**lesbianda** : okay Iris I’ll wait at jitters 

**irisbest** : nice 

**pipes** : I’m calling cisco but he isn’t picking up 

**snowflake** : maybe he’s actually got to work rn

**oliverqueer** : probably

**pipes** : ah there he goes

**lesbianda** : anyone else want a premium coffee

**oliverqueer** : Tommy could maybe be calmed down with one

**lesbianda** : lmao he’s flipping out?

**oliverqueer** : no but he might be when y’all show up so early

**lesbianda** : makes sense

**transco** : A BRILLIANT IDEA 

**oliverqueer** : Lisa takes all the credit

**transco** : ofc she does

**detectiveprettybi** : WHICH IDEA

**pipes** : don’t spoil yourself Eddie

**deteciveprettybi** : i gotta say joe looks calmer than before

**transco** : does he now

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah but I gotta leave again

**pipes** : see you later!!

**irisbest** : apparently tommy only just realized he should probably stop working at another bar if he runs one 

**snowflake** : I thought verdant is a nightclub

**irisbest** : same clientele still

**snowflake** : how did this not occur to him before

**lesbianda** : no idea but he’s conferring with laurel now

**snowflake** : for the better

**irisbest** : i love this household

**irisbest** : [image attached]

**snowflake** : Lisa looks right at home on dig’s shoulders i’m so in awe

**lesbianda** : she’s determined to decorate the whole house

**pipes** : the whole house????

**oliverqueer** : it’s only gonna be living room and kitchen

**pipes** : it’s the same room 

**pipes** : the counter doesn’t suddenly turn it into two we already had this discussion oliver

**irisbest** : leave him alone

**lesbianda** : #oliverqueenprotectionsquad

**snowflake** : you’re a duo

**irisbest** : ok i feel like cait wrote this but i can’t believe that

**snowflake** : it was me but it wasn’t meant as rude or anything

**lesbianda** : sounds more like you

**transco** : okay my shift’s over !!!! so i’m there soon

**transco** : can you believe only 1 more of those???

**lesbianda** : wair seriously

**transco** : yeah only sunday left

**irisbest** : you gotta work on sunday?

**transco** : yeah it’s horrible i can’t even get drunk at the gala

**lesbianda** : oh i’d recommend you don’t get drunk today either bc we’re all kinda representative tomorrow

**snowflake** : noted

**transco** : cait you barely drink anyways

**snowflake** : maybe i was turning it up tonight!

**transco** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : who is jan even

**transco** : character from a 70s show

**lesbianda** : ah so white nonsense

**transco** : probably

**transco** : anyway see you ladies in 30

**snowflake** : when’s eddie off

**irisbest** : 5

**snowflake** : that’s still so long

**lesbianda** : oliver is making us watch some random gay hbo show

**lesbianda** : i can’t believe this guy thought he was straight

**pipes** : “some gay hbo show”

**pipes** : that cleared that up

**irisbest** : idk man it’s a bunch of gay dudes in san francisco i don’t know the show

**lesbianda** : too many men for my liking

**snowflake** : persuade him to watch sense8

**lesbianda** : you genius

**transco** : or one day at a time!!!!

**lesbianda** : oh damn that’s even better that will have us ending in a happy crying mess

**transco** : WAIT FOR ME

**pipes** : oh isn’t that the one you wanted me to watch

**pipes** : i guess y’all are already busy

**pipes** : okay see you later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you believe that by now all of the mentioned shows are cancelled lmao ((im sad))


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the day after eddie's party and a secret is revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS!!!! listen y'all i was at a comic con yesterday AND SAW DANIELLE PANABAKER???? and not only that i also asked her a question????? you can read all about my experience [here](http://joanthangroff.tumblr.com/post/184162429483/hello-friends-i-was-at-a-comic-con-today-can), it was a great day filled with great people; I'm still not over it!!! Also I got pics in my insta story over at whatifitsbooks

**irisbest** : ok i know we only just went home 

**irisbest** : but i would like to announce that this aint just something to randomly announce on your birthday

**bilance** : wAIT WHAT WAS ANNOUNCED

**pipes** : why are you awake it is 4am at yours

**bilance** : i waited for the juicy details!!!!!

**bilance** : why was none of you texting until fucking 4pm and why is iris only now getting home

**oliverqueer** : everyone crashed here and they’re only leaving to change into fancy clothing

**bilance** : wow

**bilance** : SO WHAT WAS ANNOUNCED

**lesbianda** : well

**transco** : WELL

**irisbest** : W E L L

**oliverqueer** : W e L l

**bilance** : i hate you guys

**pipes** : honestly that isnt my part to tell

**transco** : like hell it is

**irisbest** : imma spill the beans

**lesbianda** : eddie and hartley are moving in together

**irisbest** : eddie is leaving the quiver and get this

**irisbest** : goddammit linda

**bilance** : THEY’RE WHAT

**transco** : SAME

**transco** : you’d think *I* WOULD KNOW

**pipes** : what did YOU want to move in with me

**transco** : well maybe i wanted

**pipes** : wait what

**lesbianda** : juicy

**transco** : I mean not yet but 

**babybibibi** : for fucks sake Cisco could you finally tell this guy you love him 

**babybibibi** : like you didn’t even CONSIDER moving in with me

**lesbianda** : JUICY 

**transco** : listen when i do it it sure as hell wont happen in this chat

**bilance** : okay that old lover’s quarrel aside

**bilance** : MY FAVE BI IS LEAVING ME? 

**babybibibi** : again, offensive

**pipes** : it’s like i don’t matter to you

**bilance** : MY FAVE GAY IS LEAVING ME?

**transco** : offensive

**bilance** : WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN

**oliverqueer** : apparently a few weeks ago

**bilance** : BITCH WHAT

**pipes** : IT WAS EDDIE’S IDEA

**transco** : BUT YOU AGREED

**lesbianda** : honestly how could y#all keep that secret from us

**bilance** : AND WHERE _IS_ EDDIE

**irisbest** : getting ready for later

**irisbest** : he has to stop at the station to go to verdant with singh

**snowflake** : am i the only one who feels like calling it verdant is weird

**oliverqueer** : no it’s literally called verdant we’re not giving my nightclub a weird name as well

**pipes** : that already IS a weird name

**bilance** : don’t think you can change the topic hartley i need more info on that moving out thing wtf

**pipes** : eddie and i talked one night, killed a bottle of whiskey, he came up with the idea and i was like huh doesn’t sound too bad

**pipes** : i’ve been earning money for ages now i feel bad continuing to live for free

**bilance** : okay that’s rude towards lisa, dig and me but cool

**transco** : “for ages” babe you’ve had this job for less than three months

**bilance** : are you sure you wanna live with eddie

**bilance** : is eddie sure he wants to live with you

**pipes** : we’re gonna wing it

**babybibibi** : doesn’t sound much like you

**pipes** : i can be spontaneous!

**transco** : liar

**heatwave** : he schedule your sex life or something

**bilance** : hey mick were you at the party

**oliverqueer** : he was

**bilance** : did you tell the juice on snart

**transco** : he did not

**irisbest** : he did not :/

**lesbianda** : just kept grunting at lisa and drinking alc

**heatwave** : yeah discussed it with lisa

**pipes** : what

**babybibibi** : you grunted at her and she scrunched up her face???? The whole time????

**lesbianda** : ok well i guess they had their time for acing nonverbal communication

**bilance** : what did you guys decide

**heatwave** : that snart’s a jerk

**irisbest** : we been knew

**oliverqueer** : we knew that

**transco** : tell us something new

**pipes** : wow newsflash

**lesbianda** : gathered that

**babybibibi** : i had no idea

**bilance** : glad we settled that

**bilance** : was bar there? 

**irisbest** : yeah

**transco** : how are they they looked kinda dead when you left

**bilance** : wait what happened

**bilance** : god i kinda regret being here for so long

**bilance** : (no i don’t)

**pipes** : they didn’t drink much but some hard shit tbh

**irisbest** : they’re ok

**irisbest** : we’re both still on for later

**oliverqueer** : good. The more the merrier

**detectiveprettybi** : listen i was only supposed to stay until i knew where i’d be stationed

**detectiveprettybi** : so you guys can’t be too surprised im moving out

**bilance** : you were here for two months!!!!!

**bilance** : at that point NOBODY moves out

**lesbianda** : yeah look at lisa

**lesbianda** : i would’ve said hartley but he dOESNT work as an example any more

**detectiveprettybi** : hartley has already felt bad when oliver bribed a bouncer for him

**detectiveprettybi** : im just thinking ahead

**pipes** : you came up with that idea before that happened

**detectiveprettybi** : fine find your own arguments then

**lesbianda** : can you guys reduce the fighting we have something important in t minus 2 hours

**bilance** : im so sad im missing it :((

**oliverqueer** : you’ve crashed plenty galas so far

**bilance** : yeah but none as gay

**lesbianda** : we’ll have lots more

**bilance** : i sure hope so

**lesbianda** : okay i need to change as well and then the boys, laurel and me are leaving

**bilance** : iris kiss someone pretty for me

**irisbest** : i mean, i will, but why me

**bilance** : alternatively eddie or mick could do it they’re the single ones

**pipes** : well someone definitely will

**bilance** : please keep me posted

**babybibibi** : will do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more good news! you're getting an interlude TOMORROW!


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the night of the gala is here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy easter to everyone who celebrates! this weekend i'm gonna eat mexican food, write fic with jesus christ allegories, read new 52 flash comics and watch a marvel movie (gasp).
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter!!! (i already know you will ;) )

**oliverqueer** : god im so nervous

**oliverqueer** : am i even allowed to be nervous???

**bilance** : maybe a little

**oliverqueer** : i think tommy’s more nervous than me

**bilance** : ????

**bilance** : bitch why

**oliverqueer** : bc i will defiantly fck up & say smth offensive

**pipes** : tommy when will you learn how to spell definitely

**bilance** : we’ve given up years ago

**lesbianda** : oh there’s singh and eddie

**lesbianda** : oliver tommy go say hi

**oliverqueer** : roger

**babybibibi** : we’re waiting for our uber driver

**bilance** : that’s like the worst thing about this nightclub

**transco** : don’t get ollie started on that

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : look at my men

**bilance** : singh is wearing a pronouns button!!!!

**lesbianda** : i’m so happy

**irisbest** : our cab driver took a wrong turn

**pipes** : classic

**lesbianda** : listen once the club is better known NOBODY will get lost

**babybibibi** : your advertising is saving it

**transco** : anyways so eddie is busy

**transco** : and we all know he isn’t checking his phone when he’s on duty

**pipes** : especially not with singh close

**irisbest** : yeah that’d be unprofessional

**babybibibi** : oh that means we can check up on each other

**bilance** : wait what

**lesbianda** : our big mission for today

**bilance** : eye emoji

**transco** : you won’t believe who’s showing up today

**bilance** : I GET A VIBE

**pipes** : BRUCE WAYNE

**bilance** : IS THE MISSION WHAT I THINK IT IS

**babybibibi** : the mission is to get Eddie and Bruce to hook up

**bilance** : I LOVE THE MISSION

**bilance** : I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MISSION

**lesbianda** : basically you are

**bilance** : MAKE ME PROUD

**irisbest** : okay our cab driver says we need like 10 more minutes

**lesbianda** : good Moira arrived I need to be introduced bye

**transco** : it’s still fairly empty 

**babybibibi** : our uber driver is here

**babybibibi** : funny dude, keeps pointing out his name is ric without a k

**pipes** : gotta say the club really turned out nice

**oliverqueer** : !!! thanks

**oliverqueer** : even my mother nodded approvingly

**bilance** : holy shit

**bilance** : what drugs did you give her

**pipes** : SARA!!!! why aren’t you here :((((

**bilance** : hi Thea 

**transco** : damn You’re so good 

**bilance** : so I’ve been told ;)

**pipes** : don’t ignore me ;A;

**bilance** : girl I’m literally on the other side of the world

**pipes** : fine

**transco** : ah Iris and Bar arrived 

**lesbianda** : guys please socialize we don’t wanna look too suspicious

**bilance** : i think talking irl would raise Eddie’s suspicions

**irisbest** : ikr

**bilance** : Iris my main girl how hot do you look

**babybibibi** : very

**babybibibi** : we also arrived 

**oliverqueer** : Let’s see how this pans out

**lesbianda** : oh god Bruce arrived 

**bilance** : wow and it’s only two hours after start 

**pipes** : did Eddie see him yet???

**irisbest** : no hes been with Singh the whole time

**babybibibi** : Singh looks so annoyed

**lesbianda** : yeah well fucking look at Eddie

**irisbest** : even I have never seen him this stiff 

**bilance** : wow

**transco** : wow

**lesbianda** : im going in and save him

**bilance** : Eddie or singh?

**lesbianda** : kinda both 

**pipes** : good luck

**oliverqueer** : Bruce is here

**bilance** : we know

**irisbest** : Linda is currently freeing Eddie

**bilance** : how’s the gala going officially

**pipes** : weird ppl who know my parents keep talking to me

**transco** : we wanted to hide behind dig but he’s gotta keep his bodyguard cover towards Moira 

**bilance** : im glad this is as much of a mess as i expected

**oliverqueer** : im getting so much praise I can’t believe

**bilance** : don’t pop a boner 

**babybibibi** : saving intel on Oliver’s praise kink for later

**oliverqueer** : im gonna take care of Bruce

**heatwave** : kinky

**bilance** : Mick are you at the gala?

**heatwave** : no

**irisbest** : he doesn’t wanna run into Singh 

**transco** : valid

**irisbest** : god bar disappeared to the bathroom ages ago and they didn’t look too well

**irisbest** : but now I gotta talk to Eddie he’s coming my way

**snowflake** : we’ll check up on them

**transco** : bless

**lesbianda** : god I love Singh

**lesbianda** : hes just. So professional

**bilance** : Linda has a crush on Singh

**lesbianda** : the only man I care about 

**pipes** : I SEE BRUCE WAYNE IN THE DISTANCE

**pipes** : HES COMING OUR WAY

**bilance** : DONT FALL IN LOVE

**babybibibi** : Bar is okay just a Little overwhelmed 

**babybibibi** : were chilling with them for now

**bilance** : wait so you all are occupied now

**lesbianda** : im Free rn

**oliverqueer** : not for much longer

**oliverqueer** : Linda do you see me

**lesbianda** : what

**oliverqueer** : no seriously bc IM HERE WITH CLARK KENT

**lesbianda** : NO

**oliverqueer** : COME HERE HE WANTS TO MEET YOU

**lesbianda** : WHAT

**bilance** : well shit I thought this night was for Oliver and Eddie but I think Linda is about to combust

**babybibibi** : probably 

**irisbest** : I’ve gotten rid off Eddie bc I’m worried for Bar

**snowflake** : they’re fine

**irisbest** : well I couldn’t have guessed

**babybibibi** : were cuddling on the bathroom floor

**irisbest** : im joining

**heatwave** : kinky 

**bilance** : Snart’s not there is he

**irisbest** : Nope

**heatwave** : ain’t at the apartment either

**bilance** : at this Point idk whether to be worried or curious

**irisbest** : Nope fairly sure he’s the one who fucked up

**transco** : update we fell in love

**pipes** : Bruce left us bc he saw someone he knows

**pipes** : eye emoji

**transco** : can you believe

**bilance** : okay but Bruce can know anyone there are we sure 

**oliverqueer** : yep they’re talking

**bilance** : BOY

**pipes** : I SEE IT

**transco** : CAN THE BATHROOM CREW COME TO WITNESS THIS

**babybibibi** : WERE ON OUR WAY

**irisbest** : now that’s a fantasy threesome

**pipes** : PERSONAL SPACE? BRUCE WAYNE DOESNT KNOW HER

**snowflake** : god this is better than a romcom

**bilance** : this sounds so promising

**oliverqueer** : i know Linda is talking to the bf of her biggest idol but I’m sad she’s missing this

**irisbest** : trust me she isn’t 

**transco** : this is so intense

**pipes** : wait they’re parting

**pipes** : why are they parting

**bilance** : maybe our dear detective thawne remembered he’s being there in a professional manner

**irisbest** : THERES NO PROFESSIONAL MANNERS WHEN BEUCE WAYNE TALKS TO YOU

**irisbest** : That was Bar

**irisbest** : this cheered them up

**snowflake** : Eddie looks so dreamy

**transco** : is he going to the bathroom to jerk off

**pipes** : who knows

**babybibibi** : oh god this reminds me

**babybibibi** : guess who we caught making out in a hallway

**oliverqueer** : Lisa and Sin?

**heatwave** : oh

**irisbest** : LAUREL AND TOMMY

**bilance** : not that again

**oliverqueer** : 2 weeks

**bilance** : 3 months

**oliverqueer** : ??? They’ve NEVER made it through more than two months

**bilance** : im feeling the love this morning 

**snowflake** : 8 weeks

**babybibibi** : no babe don’t bet

**detectiveprettybi** : EXCUSE ME

**detectiveprettybi** : BRUCE WAYNE JUST OFFERED ME A BOOTY CALL??????

**detectiveprettybi** : WHAT THE FUCK

**oliverqueer** : HAPPY BIRTHDAY

**irisbest** : HAPPY BIRTHDAY

**bilance** : HAPPY BIRTHDAY

**transco** : HAPPY BIRTHDAY

**detectiveprettybi** : WHAT

**detectiveprettybi** : YOU DID THIS?

**babybibibi** : we only made it so that you guys could talk

**pipes** : yeah the sex is all him

**detectiveprettybi** : BRUCE WAYNE IS ATTRACTED TO ME?

**bilance** : well duh

**detectiveprettybi** : HOLY SHIT

**detectiveprettybi** : IM HOOKING UP WITH BRUCE THOMAS WAYNE TONIGHT

**snowflake** : CONGRATS

**irisbest** : god Eddie I don’t even know what to say

**detectiveprettybi** : HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA SURVIVE THE REST OF THIS GALA

**lesbianda** : I JUST TALKED TO CLARK KENT?

**lesbianda** : HES GONNA TELL LOIS LANE ABOUT ME?

**lesbianda** : IM SCREAMING 

**oliverqueer** : MY THING IS SO SUCCESSFUL

**irisbest** : EVEN BAR IS SPORTING A GRIN

**bilance** : this sure is a night to remember

**transco** : I love this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU'RE GETTING AN INTERLUDE TOMORROW!!!! and no it's not smut


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the success of the gala left them all high on some hormone that I don’t know the name off bc I quit bio class in 8th grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you believe that the last week ended a great era for all of us comic fans..... it’s been so long and now it’s over and I am incredibly sad but also mad. you can ask me about the Gotham finale but you won’t hear anything positive trust me

**lesbianda** : it’s 2pm and we didn’t hear anything yet

**transco** : it’s not two yet I still have to suffer through eight whole minutes here

**irisbest** : poor you

**irisbest** : in other news yesterday really helped so Bar might come back online soon

**pipes** : yes!!!

**snowflake** : I’m so happy

**oliverqueer** : god me too

**oliverqueer** : look at this

**oliverqueer** : [link attached]

**lesbianda** : im straight for Clark Kent suddenly

**pipes** : we all know youre gay for his gf

**lesbianda** : but he IS quite attractive objectively

**oliverqueer** : That he is

**oliverqueer** : he has a dog!

**babybibibi** : a pretty man with a dog?

**oliverqueer** : apparently he and Bruce take their dogs on playdates 

**pipes** : that’s so precious what the fuck

**snowflake** : I fell in love

**babybibibi** : i cant even be mad bc me too

**transco** : [gif attached]

**pipes** : frozen…. really cisquito

**transco** : it’s a classic

**transco** : it starrs idina menzel and this dude who was on crazy ex

**irisbest** : if my life were a tv show i’d want it to run on the cw

**lesbianda** : nah it never has enough gays

**oliverqueer** : true

**snowflake** : back to the topic so is eddie still busy with bruce

**oliverqueer** : i guess

**babybibibi** : i can’t believe we gave him this after the bomb he blew on us

**pipes** : yeah like not even i got any since his birthday

**lesbianda** : harsh cisco

**transco** : it’s mostly bc we’ve both been busy but sure let him think it’s on purpose

**detectiveprettybi** : guys im so fucking sore

**babybibibi** : woah tmi

**irisbest** : like thats tmi in here

**bilance** : yeah eddie we need more

**oliverqueer** : did you like put an alarm or something

**bilance** : nah ive been reading along the whole night

**pipes** : don’t you have bette things to do like sleep or sex

**bilance** : the guy who doesn’t have a sleep pattern calls me out for being awake at half past two, that’s rich

**pipes** : not any more

**detectiveprettybi** : i cant even describe what this night was but it changed my life

**detectiveprettybi** : and seriously i have night patrol and ill die

**bilance** : how often did you die last night

**detectiveprettybi** : so often

**detectiveprettybi** : and this morning

**detectiveprettybi** : and oh probably now again

**babybibibi** : is he serious

**transco** : probably

**pipes** : only edward thawne i swear

**irisbest** : so he’s gonna keep having sex with bruce wayne until he has to be cramped into a small car with my dad

**irisbest** : so many words in this sentence that should not go together

**snowflake** : rip iris

**pipes** : it seems like a very eddie thing to do

**oliverqueer** : yeah it does

**bilance** : i hope eddie is thinking of us all

**heatwave** : sure hope not

**heatwave** : worst orgy ever

**transco** : bc you wouldnt be a physical part of it?

**heatwave** : xactly

**babybibibi** : makes sense

**bilance** : so im guessing bruce wayne is a good lay

**snowflake** : are you surprised by that

**irisbest** : not everyone with a pretty face is good at sex cait

**lesbianda** : a rule that even applies to women

**transco** : sad

**pipes** : i feel like bruce can teach eddie a thing or two

**irisbest** : and he already knows so much

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**bilance** : eye emoji

**snowflake** : eye emoji

**irisbest** : smirk emoji

**transco** :  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**heatwave** : imma hook up with him

**pipes** : with bruce wayne?

**heatwave** : that too

**transco** : with EDDIE?

**lesbianda** : we’re fulfilling too many dreams of his lately

**oliverqueer** : mick i thought you didn’t like cops

**heatwave** : good point

**babybibibi** : oliver back in the game of ruining people’s lives

**oliverqueer** : wtf i have nEVER ruined ppl’s lives

**irisbest** : protection squad activated

**pipes** : iris and linda make better bodyguards than dig

**bilance** : ill tell him that

**transco** : i know he got one when we started dating but a black eye is not a good look for hart

**pipes** : tf everything’s a good look for me

**babybibibi** : ehhh

**snowflake** : well

**lesbianda** : actually

**transco** : cariño,,

**pipes** : okay? Rude.

**transco** : ill show exactly what is a good look for you

**pipes** : hmmm

**bilance** : have fun fucking imma go to sleep

**irisbest** : do you think eddie is keeping an eye on the clock

**heatwave** : no they’re on something that rhymes with that

**oliverqueer** : nice one

**irisbest** : im just saying it’s almost 5 at this point

**babybibibi** : when does the shift start

**irisbest** : 7

**lesbianda** : yeah he should probably stop banging

**snowflake** : not it

**babybibibi** : not it

**lesbianda** : not it

**heatwave** : not it

**oliverqueer** : not it

**irisbest** : damn you all

**lesbianda** : maybe they’ll let you hear something

**irisbest** : oPPOSITE OF WHAT WE NEED

**oliverqueer** : rip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to post this via phone bc my laptop might be broken (which is fun bc I do my writing on there lmao) so excuse if the formatting is even more screwed up than usually
> 
> here’s also a friendly reminder that y’all artists are very welcome to draw anything of this. I’m desperate to see some of these scenes pals


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s... drama time my friends

**pipes** : did it work

**irisbest** : it is now 11pm and you’re asking NOW if i got them to stop having sex

**pipes** : yeah well i only just stopped so

**transco** : liar you slept until now

**pipes** : betrayed,,,

**babybibibi** : yeah he does that

**irisbest** : Yeah I did get him to go to work

**irisbest** : and he did not even let me talk to Bruce >:/

**transco** : cruel

**snowflake** : can you believe classes start again tomorrow

**irisbest** : ha mine only start next week bc it’s Orientation for the newbies 

**pipes** : wish that were me

**transco** : you only have three classes this semester

**babybibibi** : i have two and then 5 of Wells’s

**snowflake** : I don’t want to talk about it

**lesbianda** : i have two but also a whole foundation to advertise 

**detectiveprettybi** : hey are y’all alright

**transco** : yes?

**bilance** : ya busy with yoga 

**detectiveprettybi** : this was mostly at The west fam

**irisbest** : Yeah? Why are you asking 

**detectiveprettybi** : well we got called off patrol

**snowflake** : does that happen often?

**irisbest** : no never

**bilance** : only when it’s something important and/or personal

**irisbest** : yeah no we’re all at home? 

**detectiveprettybi** : okay

**irisbest** : well dad just called Wally and asked the same thing 

**detectiveprettybi** : ok we’re driving back now I just got to ask my loved ones

**transco** : cute 

**snowflake** : what is happening

**heatwave** : got a feeling

**lesbianda** : wait is Snart home?

**heatwave** : nope

**pipes** : oh shit

**pipes** : what did he do

**irisbest** : i guess we’ll find out 

**babybibibi** : are you gonna tell Bar?

**irisbest** : Tell them what we don’t know anything 

**irisbest** : plus it’s the day before uni start I sure as hell ain’t gonna worry them more

**snowflake** : I feel like they’d want to know

**transco** : yeah think if they kept a big secret from you bc they thought you were better off without it

**pipes** : you’d be sooo pissed

**detectiveprettybi** : i swear to god

**detectiveprettybi** : Snart got drunk and into a fight

**detectiveprettybi** : and now he’s rude to West

**heatwave** : for fucks sake 

**detectiveprettybi** : what was his fight with Bar about 

**heatwave** : no fucking idea

**irisbest** : he said he thinks henry did kill bar’s mom

**heatwave** : WHAT

**heatwave** : nah

**irisbest** : he did

**heatwave** : he sure as hell aint thinking that

**heatwave** : the guy doesn’t trust anyone so he wouldnt have said he thinks henry’s innocent if he doesnt truly believe that

**detectiveprettybi** : iris do you know more

**irisbest** : no

**transco** : add bar back to the chat

**irisbest** : i dont think that’s so wise

**heatwave** : full offense this is serious and i want to know the background

**bilance** : holy shit mick is pissed

 

**irisbest** added  **spACEbar** to the chat

 

**irisbest** : short summary snart got drunk and punched someone now he’s at the station and mick wants to know what the fuck happened between you guys

**pipes** : we all wanna know

**spACEbar** : snart did WHAT now

**spACEbar** : WHAT

**heatwave** : spill the beans

**spACEbar** : we fought when i asked why he went to visit his father and then he said at least he knows his is trash. So then i left

**heatwave** : wtf snart didnt visit his old man

**spACEbar** : you didnt know???

**heatwave** : like hell

**heatwave** : wouldnt have let him act like he did if i knew what triggered it

**snowflake** : wait triggered??

**detectiveprettybi** : holy shit

**heatwave** : are you fucing kidding me

**heatwave** : are yall so fucking stupid and selfish that you cant even think

**transco** : i

**transco** : /what/

**heatwave** : theres a frickin reason why snart wishes to be an orphan but sure yall think its a joke

**heatwave** : im going to the station now

**spACEbar** : me too

**spACEbar** : i mean i knew he was on edge bc he saw his dad but 

**spACEbar** : god i was such an idiot

**lesbianda** : fuck 

**pipes** : oh my god we really are the worst

**irisbest** : im such an asshole

**irisbest** : i should have realized

**bilance** : GUYS okay calm down

**bilance** : you all didn’t even fucking know what snart has been up to before

**bilance** : so there’s no way you could have figured out anything

**detectiveprettybi** : shit 

**detectiveprettybi** : so joe knows now

**irisbest** : joe knows WHAT

**detectiveprettybi** : that i know yall

**pipes** : what

**detectiveprettybi** : i went to talk to joe and calm him down bc dude is he pissed at snart

**detectiveprettybi** : so i swiped in and said something must be up

**detectiveprettybi** : and basically blurted out that i know the guy

**detectiveprettybi** : and then….

**transco** : shit

**irisbest** : but you didnt tell him we hooked up

**detectiveprettybi** : i vALUE my life

**lesbianda** : what’d he say

**detectiveprettybi** : he just opened and closed his mouth at me

**detectiveprettybi** : and now bar is here

**bilance** : i seriously did not see this day going like this

**detectiveprettybi** : mick is here

**snowflake** : so

**snowflake** : snart is in trouble with the police

**snowflake** : joe knows that eddie knows his kids

**snowflake** : eddie’s slept with bruce wayne

**snowflake** : hartley and eddie are moving in together

**snowflake** : this semester is off to a good start

**transco** : we’ve gone from mess to disaster

**oliverqueer** : are you kidding me

**oliverqueer** : i leave you guys alone for a few hours and chaos ensues

**bilance** : it can only get better from here

**babybibibi** : lets see 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that’s a wrap for this part! Or is it?
> 
> Not completely! You’re getting an interlude tomorrow and then another one in a week to make for this cliffhanger! ;)
> 
> Like always, my sincerest thanks for all the love and comments this fic still gets, impossibly. I can’t believe y’all are still interested in this mess and I appreciate you all ❤️

**Author's Note:**

>  **Please leave a comment!**  
>  If you liked this, come check out my [tumblr](http://joanthangroff.tumblr.com) or talk to me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/Ll4MDUNBAR).


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